Occupied My Heart…

Occupied My Heart…
Nathan looked at Jesse who also looked at him with confusion. 

“What do you mean by that, Nath?” He asked then walked closer to him, “I thought I was also allowed to come here any time I like? It has always been that way and you have never asked me what I came to do.” 

Nathan immediately came back to his senses and realised he had reacted unconsciously. These past few weeks, he had gotten so used to having just Evans around him that he had almost forgotten Jesse also had access to this place, but still…

“I thought you should be resting at this time and not walking around?” Nathan asked, allowing Jesse to hold his arm as he walked to sit on the couch. 

“I can rest here too, besides, I miss you and this was also the reason I came here. I called you but you wouldn’t pick up my call, so I called Assistant Caleb who told me you would be at home at the moment.” he explained, but when he saw the unimpressed look on Nathan’s cold face, he gritted his teeth gently, then held Nathan’s hand tightly, “Do-do you not want to see me?” He asked in a choked voice.

Nathan was stunned at first, then he sighed and drew him closer to himself, hugged him tight and placed a kiss on his forehead, “Don’t think too much about things. It’s just that I wasn’t expecting you, besides, I’m stressed up.” He groaned at the end of his words. 

His eyes that stared through the wall narrowed in confusion, but he just didn’t know what he was worried about. 

They hugged for a while, then Jesse who had closed his eyes in relief suddenly felt tears blur his eyes, he stiffened, but secretly cleaned it as he didn’t want the man hugging him to ask him why he was crying as he really wouldn’t be able to explain.

He felt guilty. He knew Nathan loved him, he was obsessed with him, but… it was all because of that incident, and he would always ask himself what would happen if Nathan found out the truth. 

Jesse smiled after his thought, then decisively raised his head and kissed Nathan’s lips.

Nathan was stunned when he felt the kiss on his lips, he looked down and saw Jesse looking at him with a soft gaze, he swallowed and felt awkward, but before he could say or think more, Jesse had pressed his lips on his. 

The kiss at first had started gently, then became more passionate and in seconds, Jesse was already on him, kissing him more deeply. 

“Jesse…I think—“ 

“What..? You don’t want me? Don’t you miss me?” Jesse asked then began to drop kisses all over Nathan’s face and neck, trying to entice him and pleasure him

Nathan felt a headache at some point, and he lay helplessly. He didn't know why he didn’t feel a thing, instead, he felt irritated.

But why? This was the man he always went crazy for, the man he longed for, the man he was always ready to have a go with. It was just a month…A month and things had changed but he still didn’t know what had changed because he was sure he loved Jesse.

Jesse who was about to get to Nathan’s waist seems to have realised how stiff he was. His eyes became cold and a sneer appeared on his face. 

He stood up with a snort and sat down on the couch while arranging his clothes. Meanwhile, Nathan heaved a sigh of relief and sat up on the couch. He felt awkward as he threw a glance at Jesse whose head was bowed as he played with his fingers. 

Nathan stood up and walked to the alcohol cabinet and poured himself a wine, then also unconsciously picked up the cigarette box from the table but then, he remembered Jesse was there with him and even if he really wanted to smoke, he had to hold it in until Jesse left. 

“You don’t want me anymore, right?” Jesse asked. 

The cup that was being raised to Nathan's mouth paused, then he furrowed his brows and placed it back on the table before turning around to walk back to Jesse who had begun sniffing.

“Hey..” Nathan whispered, gently reaching out to bring him into his arms. 

“Why wouldn’t I want you? Since the day I set my eyes on you, my heart has been occupied by you and no one else can take the place in my heart.”He said but suddenly became dazed as an image flashed past his mind but he just couldn’t catch it. 

Jesse raised his head and raised Nathan’s chin with his finger and looked into his eyes, “Talk to me, Nath. Do you have anyone else? I can make way for the person. I love you so much and all I want is your happiness. If you really have found your happiness, then—“ Jesse choked like he couldn’t finish his words, his lips trembled as he parted his lips to say something but all that came out were whimpers. 

Nathan’s eyes narrowed agitatedly as his hand that held Jesse's waist tightened, his heart beat strongly and like he had been provoked, he spat out, “I can’t love anyone! You’re the only one allowed for me.” He pronounced like he was also reminding himself.

Jesse was stunned at his seriousness, his heart leapt and his eyes shone brightly, “Really?!” He asked and hugged his neck with a happy smile on his face. 

“Hmm…”Nathan nodded, then placed a gentle kiss on Jesse’s lips before whispering sweetly and sincerely.

“Since the day you pulled me out of the sea, and also when you saved me at the risk of your life, I’ve dedicated my whole life to you. Believe me.” 



On the other end, Evans sat down with his granny as they ate dinner in their small dining room. 

The house was peaceful with only the sound of utensils moving and also Granny putting food in Evans’ plate. 

After they ate, Evans packed the dirty dishes into the kitchen to wash. While he was washing, Granny walked in and looked at him with a gentle smile on her face. 

“You look stressed, is it about that young man, Nathan?” 

Evans froze, the plate in his hand fell to the ground and broke in half but it was like Evans couldn’t hear or feel anything. 

Slowly, he turned to his Granny who had rushed to his side and was checking his hands to see if he was injured.

“Silly boy! What if you get injured?! This hand is meant to save lives and must be protected!” Granny scolded but Evans wasn’t even paying attention to her words.

“Gra..Granny?”  He called out softly and nervously. 

His heart was beating so fast at the moment. He parted his lips to say something but all he could do was stare at his granny. 

Would she feel disgusted? What if she hates him? What if—

“Stop thinking about too many things!” Granny knocked on his head which snapped him awake. 

“How could I not understand you? I raised you since you were a baby. Though I don’t know what is between you and him, the last time he came, I noticed how you weren't calm when you were with him. You’ve always been calm even in the worst situation, but with him, it felt like you were about to explode.” Granny explained then dropped his hand after she had fully confirmed that he was alright. 

Then she continued while dragging him back to the sitting room, “And for you to bring your bag to stay with me, and since you came, your mood hasn’t been right. You go in a daze every minute and even eat the carrot you hate during lunch. Hmm..”She sighed after her words.

Evans really wanted to cry as he looked at his granny.

Megan had believed every little word he had said, even though he had convinced himself that he was okay, but….

He wasn’t! He really was going insane here. 

What if Nathan doesn’t even care about him? He lied when he said he knew Nathan would come to him. 

He was nothing to him when it came to Jesse! 

Evans was not okay. He isn’t!