22. Zia's POV - BadMate

22. Zia's POV - BadMate
Zia's POV

I want to throw up.

That was my driving force, the only thing that kept me going. The only thing I kept repeating in my head until I got here.

And right now, it makes 3 minutes since I’ve been standing in front of the restroom mirror, but nothing would come out. Not even when I put my finger deep in my throat.

The hallway is silent when I make my way back out, listless and thoughtless. I have three options. Go to the cafeteria, avoid everyone else and go to the clinic, or just remain in class.

Oh, there is the other option of going to the back of school.

Tyler made it clear that we must meet there every day.

However, when I think about what his two brothers made me go through in the past two days, I can’t help but think about how much worse it would be with their oldest and meanest brother, but still, my feet led me there.

He would be even more angry if I didn’t show up.

I just hoped he hadn’t been waiting for too long, but when I thought back to how intense Cain was in the car, I shake my head and hoped instead that Tyler didn’t show up yet as well.

“Oh, you’re finally here,” he said even before I moved the broken door to the side.

Of course, he could sense me from even further.

“I’m sorry, I was late.”

“I noticed you skipped classes too,” he folded his arms and asked, “Why?” This was the question that I was affronted with the moment I came face to face with him.

“I was sleeping,” I replied honestly, in a low voice.

“And you made me worry for no reason,” he sighed, but my ears perked at that.

“Why would you worry about me?” If Cain was innocent in front of everyone and Terri was well-going and everyone’s friend, then Tyler was evil, unapproachable, and mean.

That was their reputations. So if the ones with fairly good reputations did those things to me, what would the one with the worst reputation do?

Surely, it would be anything other than worry.

Yet I could tell that he wasn’t lying. He had been frowning before I came, that’s why the relief in his eyes was evident.

“So why aren’t you wearing the shoes I got you yesterday?” he shifted the question elsewhere. I tried to hide my feet but it was useless.

“Did you not like them?” he asked and I immediately shook my head. That would be the worst misunderstanding of my life.

“No, no, that’s not the case.” I was shaking my head desperately like a kid, but I didn’t mind the image as long as he didn’t misunderstand it.

His gaze was shot straight at me in silence, so he wanted an explanation.

Surely it would be a lie if I told him I’ll wear it next week just because Celine said she would be borrowing it for only that long.

I knew better than to believe that.

“I SOLD it,” I lied.

“What?” I didn’t dare look in his eyes in case he saw through it.

“It was too precious and expensive anyway, what if it got stolen, so that’s why I sold it, so I could get some other things that I needed,” I continued.

Even though it wasn’t a legal transaction, I’d needed to give Celine the shoe else they’d have left me to sleep out under that terrible rain yesterday. So it was the same thing.

I wasn’t lying.

“Zia, you know that I will find out the whole truth regardless, right?” he asked. My heart skipped as I struggled to tell him the whole truth, but I held back and nodded instead.

“Yes, I’m not lying,” I said and cemented the whole truth.

The wind blew some flowers, or rather dried leaves, in my face and in that moment of distraction, my mind went back to what he had said earlier. I found it hard to believe despite the evidence.

“You said you were worried about me earlier, why would you be?” I asked and tried to be bold with my question, looking him straight in the eyes only to realize that he had been looking at me all along. I blushed and held his gaze boldly, but the way he called my name after made me melt and look away.

“We are mates, Zia. Because I didn’t mark you doesn’t make you less of my mate. You are important to me. So whether I admit it in front of everyone or not, you should never forget that you represent me, alright?” he asked and I nodded, but I couldn’t respond.

“So of course I would worry about something that’s mine, talk less of a gift given to me by the moon goddess,” he explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world, but the only other person who ever called me a gift was long dead.

“Say something,” I could feel his gaze on me as I lowered my head to face the ground.

How could I face him when I had tears in my eyes, when my throat was choked up with tears?

What would I say? The very urge to confess all my grievances to him, all my life, overwhelmed me and my shoulders shook.

“Zia?” his hand rested softly on my shoulders, “What’s wrong?” he asked the magic question. The one that broke the dam holding back my tears.

My silent tears turned into sobs.

He had helped me yesterday after Terri, so of course it was overwhelming to let down all of my burden after what happened with Cain, but when he pulled me close and stopped asking questions…

When a heavy sigh left his lips as he just let me sob into his chest, it became difficult to doubt him.

Impossible to think he would hurt me.

A soft voice in my mind whispered, but Terri had hugged me when I cried in the past.

But I NEEDED THIS COMFORT, so I swatted the voice to the side.

Even Gina relaxed finally. The unsettled, stuffed-up feeling in my chest loosened up and I soaked his shirt with my salty tears.

He didn’t seem to mind like Terri did. Instead, he continued to pat my hair like a child. A gesture I hadn’t felt in three years.

And after I’d let it all out, and couldn’t bring myself to face him, he just let me be. He didn’t force me to face my reality like Terri always did. He didn’t ask me what was wrong like Terri always did. He didn’t force me to move my mouth or force me to smile.

He just let me be until I fell asleep, or started to.

“You are burning up and your legs would hurt,” his voice calmed me, soothed me in a way that confused me, because I couldn’t help but question—why?