16. Strange Feelings 2.

[Ace]

I wiped the beads of sweat from my face as I opened my eyes, I filled my lungs with air as I calmed my raging heart thankful for the fact that it had just been a dream.

I climbed down from the roof and went back to my bed. I saw my brother sleeping on my bed and he must have been battling with some demons of his own because he was thrashing around in bed and mumbling some unintelligible words.

I sighed as I walked to him and tried to calm him down, he always got like this whenever my father was coming home.

As a child, my father had traumatized him because he was different, my father despised him because he always loved girlish things and he wasn't as strong as my father wanted him to be.

When my father used to spend time with the family, he would often insult Caleb and sometimes he even went as far as locking him up in the basement.

Even though Caleb was my mother's favorite child, she couldn't speak against my father because my father also insulted her alongside him, he blamed her for spoiling him and treating him like a weak girl.

Caleb was always affected whenever he heard my father was coming home and I always tried to get my father's eyes off of him by creating a scene at home.

"It's alright." I whispered into his ear and when he calmed down I covered him properly with the blanket and sat down on the couch.

I sighed because I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep again, I contemplated smoking another joint before my phone vibrated in my pocket and I brought it out.

"Are you up?" It was a text from Emily.

I smiled and dropped the joint on the floor, I was suddenly no longer interested in smoking.

"Yes, took you long enough to reply." I chuckled as I waited for her reply.

She was very easy to tease and I loved to tease her. I imagined her face going completely red and I couldn't help but smile.

"I want you to stop teasing me." She wrote and I frowned.

"What makes you think I'm teasing you?" I asked and sent her a smirking face emoji.

"This." She sent me back the smirking face emoji. "Besides, you shouldn't play around with words like that." She added and sent a frowning face emoji.

"I only said that I liked you, is that so bad?" I asked and sent a grumpy face emoji.

"Yes, when you don't mean it."

"How do you know that I don't mean it?"

"Because I know you, Ace." She replied and I frowned as I remembered the dream I had on the roof.

"If you know me, then you should know that I always get what I want." I said and sent her a smug emoji.

"Go to bed, Em, you have a full day ahead of you tomorrow."

.

.

[Emily]

I groaned and flung my phone across my bed, Ace was driving me insane.

He was being so cruel, if only he knew how much my heart leaped when I read those words and how much I wished they were really true then he wouldn't be playing with me this way.

I couldn't sleep because there was too much on my mind, finally I decided to just commit all my worries unto God.

I decided that I would add this to my list of sins that I was going to confess to the priest in the morning.

***

"Forgive me father for I have sinned." I knelt inside the confession box, my head bowed in shame as I played with the rosary in my hand.

"Dear child." The father slid open the window and did the sign of cross. "What sins have you come to confess today."

"Father, I've been a very bad child." I sniffed.

"Emily, you're one of the best children that I know, please tell me your sins, I'm sure the lord will overlook them and forgive you."

I'd been attending confession since I was six years old, the first time it was because I had forgotten to do something my father asked me to do, I couldn't even remember what it was now.

The father and I had grown close during all those years and he was also very familiar with my confessions.

"I was disobedient again, father." I said and he sighed.

"How were you disobedient, child?"

"I stayed out late, I got back home past my curfew last night."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I feel bad, father, I already apologized to my parents but I also have to seek the lord's forgiveness, father."

"The lord absolve you of your sins, my child, say three hail Mary's and one f—"

"That's not all father." My heart began to beat widely.

"I'm listening." He said.

"I don't understand it but I'm beginning to feel something for someone."

"That's not a sin, child, as long as you are not under any oath, you are free to have feelings and relations." He said.

"Really?"

"Yes child, you must be careful not to engage in immoral acts but there's nothing wrong in having feelings for someone." He said.

"Okay, father, can you tell me what acts I should avoid, the other day he kissed me and I—"

"Dio Santo, child, those words are not for my ears." He stopped me immediately. "I already told you your penance for your sin, now please go and may the lord forgive your sins."

I left the church after saying my prayers but the confusion in my heart remained, I had no idea what to do with the feelings in my heart.

When Ace used to ignore me, it was easier to handle, but now that he was always close to me and talking to me, it felt harder for me to keep a lid on those feelings I knew were wrong.

The father might have not wanted me to explain but he would have understood my sins if he had.

I thought about a lot of nasty things whenever I saw Ace, his lips always looked so inviting and I couldn't stop myself from wanting to taste them again.

I couldn't stop myself from thinking about the kiss he gave me and hoping he gave me another, maybe I would be able to kiss him back this time.

The church was about three blocks away from my house. I could have easily taken a bus or a taxi but I would have reached home faster so I decided to walk.

I did not notice my surroundings as I walked home, I had a lot on my mind and I was really confused, I decided to ask Jenny about it later if I'd be allowed to go and visit her later.

The moment I came out of my thoughts, I began to itch my skin, I started having a weird feeling that I was being followed.

I turned around but no one was following me, I began to walk faster without being too obvious and just as I was about to pass on to my house street, I shrieked as a hand pulled me into an empty alley.

I kicked and screamed but the person had a hand over my mouth and my strength was no match for theirs.

"Let me go." My screams were muffled as I bit into the palm covering my mouth.

"Shit, Em, stop biting me."

I stopped immediately when I recognized the voice but he still didn't remove his hand from my mouth.

"You have to be really quiet." He said and released my mouth.

"What is wrong with you, Ace, you nearly gave me a heart attack." I complained.

"Quiet, I told you to be quiet." He frowned.

"What is going on?" I whispered when I noticed the serious look on his face.

"Shhsh." He placed a finger on my lips and looked outside the alley to the main street.

"You were being followed, how careless are you that you didn't realize, you were leading them straight to your house." He frowned and flicked me on the forehead with two fingers.

"Ouch." I held my head and hissed. "What was that for?"

I looked at him shocked, he looked petrified and he was beginning to scare me.

"Come on, let me take you to have lunch." He said out of the blue.

"No," I frowned. "I have to go home, my parents will worry."

"Well then call them and make something up." He said.

"I can't do that."

"What?"

"I wouldn't know what to say, I've never done something like that before besides I just got back from church where I just finished confessing my sins, I can't commit another again." I rambled on nervously.

"Em, Em, Em, look at me."

"Why do you call me that? My name is Emily."

"You're Em to me."

"Well that's not my—"

"Do you want me to kiss you?"

"What?"