Chapter 51

I spend the next few days checking in with Quinn until I feel like I’m beginning to smother her. I haven’t told the guys about that night at dinner since they already have so many other reasons to not want Quinn around me. I don’t want them to have something else to add to the list. Plus, I’m sure Quinn doesn’t want anyone knowing either. As her friend, I have to support that and her.

She told me that she discussed her self-harm with her therapist, but I have no way of knowing if it’s the truth or not. I try to take her word for it when she says that she isn’t doing it anymore. All I can do is hope that she’s on the road to recovery. Lying about it will only hurt her in the end.

Giving her a little space, I continue to focus on getting the baby’s room together. I don’t want to be one of those mothers who rush to get everything done days before going into labor. When I go into labor, I want to be as relaxed as possible, knowing that everything is ready for my baby.

Jasper has been an enormous help, coming home early to help with furniture and decorating. The man won’t let me pick up a hammer, so I just point to where I want everything to hang on the walls. I try to follow all the necessary safety precautions despite Jasper thinking that some of them are stupid. Excuse me for not wanting a picture frame to fall on my baby’s face while she’s sleeping. Boom, now my kid only has one eye.

I have to sit there and listen to Jasper yap about how Davina made every parenting mistake known to man and they still turned out fine. Uh, has he seen his family dynamic?

I don’t exactly have a strong family foundation of my own, so the least I can do is make sure I don’t screw up my kid at an early developmental age.

“Hopefully, our baby will never know the pain we know,” I mumble, rubbing my belly as I rock back and forth in the chair Jasper finally finished.

“Now, that I can agree on. We’ve all been through a lot, you especially. I already know that you’re going to be a mean mama bear.” He smiles, shaking his head.

“What makes you say that? I’ll be nice.”

“Nice until some other kid pushes ours down or calls her ugly. You’re going to pounce.”

Gawking, I let out a huff.

“I’d never hurt a child.”

“You’d make one cry, though.”

“For pushing my kid down? Oh, definitely. Little shit picked the wrong kid.” I frown at the thought of one day having to stand up for my kid when they get picked on. I know I have to let my kid grow up and face challenges, but how can I do that when I’ll want to punch anyone who dares upset my baby? It’ll be impossible.

Sighing, I look at Jasper as he sits on the floor to take a break.

“I wish I’d had someone to stand up for me when I was younger and the kids would pick on me for my mom being sick. Once, I was cornered by a bunch of kids who called my mom a drunk and a whore. I was only 12, and all I wanted was for someone to make them stop.” I shrug, remember hating my mom so much in that moment. That night, when I was putting her to bed, I still told her that I loved her, whether she heard it or not.

Jasper gives me an empathetic smile.

“12-year-old you deserved so much better, baby. Those kids are probably still assholes. You’ve already won ten times over.”

“Very true. I’m glad my mom is better. Hell, I’m happy that she’s alive. I wasn’t too sure about that for a while. She’s doing amazing.”

“She’s going to be an awesome grandma. I imagine she’s going to bump heads with my mother over who’s the best grandma.” Jasper rolls his eyes.

For the next hour, Jasper and I sit in the baby’s room and talk about all the things we want for our daughter. We reminisce about our childhood, the good and the bad. It’s nice to talk to Jasper about all of this because, if there's one subject we like to steer clear of, it’s our childhoods. It’s better to let it all out, so the trauma isn’t locked in your mind. All I can hope is that our daughter has the best life possible. I want her to experience life without worry or fear. I want her to experience everything I never got to. She deserves sleepovers with her giggly best friends and a mom who can carpool them to school or the mall. I want my daughter to know I’m there for her no matter what.

I want her to know that she has parents who love her more than anything in the world.

By the time we finish talking, it’s super late and way past the time we usually go to bed. Jasper straightens the room and heads to sleep while I go downstairs to get some water…and maybe a cookie. I’m lightly bouncing down the stairs, my eyes adjusting to the darkness, when I hear a little bump that makes me freeze. My first instinct is to go back upstairs, but then I hear sounds that confuse me.

Slowly, I make my way down the step, careful not to make any noise. When I’m by the hall, I peek my head around the corner and my eyes widen. I have to cover my mouth so I don’t gasp because the last thing I want to do is interrupt Harper fucking his physical therapist on the living room couch.

On top of Harper, the lady is riding him like she’s a jockey and he’s the horse that’s going to win the Kentucky Derby. My jaw hangs open behind my hand while Harper squeezes her naked ass, slamming her down onto his length over and over and…this is turning me on. I shouldn’t be watching them having sex. It’s an invasion of privacy. Clearly, Harper didn’t want us to know about this, but I can’t stop watching.

My eyes zero in on Harper taking her breast into his mouth, sucking her nipple as she throws her head back. She bites down on her bottom lip; her moans are soft and discrete. This definitely isn’t her first time being here after work hours. I don’t recall paying for these services either, but I’m not complaining.

I lean against the wall, trying to remain as still as possible. My mouth waters when she hops off of Harper and takes him in her mouth. A low growl escapes his mouth, his hand fisting in her hair, pushing her to take more of him. Watching his hips lift to fuck her mouth nearly makes my knees buckle. The ache between my legs is begging for attention, but there’s no way I can be as quiet as them. The moment I come, I’ll let the whole house know.

I think I hear someone say my name, but I’m too busy watching Harper put her on her hands and knees before sinking into her from behind. At the same time, two hands snake around my waist, scaring the shit out of me. I let out the softest squeak as I turn around, facing Jasper. With a look of confusion, he opens his mouth to say something, only to be met with my hand over his lips.

I motion for him to stay quiet and look down the hall. When he does, his eyes widen and he looks at me. I nod wildly, confirming his silent question. I find it so funny that Jasper is shockingly amused, considering they lived together for years, bringing women home and even sharing them. It makes this whole situation even funnier.

Jasper leans back, wrapping his arms around me as I’m pressed against the wall.

“Why don’t we go upstairs and make a little noise of our own?” he whispers into my ear, slipping his hand between my legs and causing me to whimper.

“I’d love that, but I’m going to make big noises to assert dominance in my home.”

Jasper fights back a laugh as he scoops me up, taking me upstairs to make lots of noise.