Chapter 50

After two weeks, the break-ins are pretty much out of sight out of mind in the neighborhood. Everyone bought cameras, guns, bats, and even dogs to protect them from anything else. In our home, Jasper had cameras installed as well as new locks and a security system. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he might have gone a little overboard. Whatever he needs to do to make him feel safe is okay with me.

Apart from that, we’ve also started putting together baby furniture. So far, we have the crib together, but there have been some struggles with the changing table. When it was delivered, it didn’t come with instructions. I'm partly to blame for that since I ordered it off some sketchy site that kept showing up on my social media. The changing table is so pretty on the box, and I know it’ll be prettier put together. It’ll just take Jasper some time to build it based solely on the picture alone. Thankfully, he has Harper to help. Two confused minds are better than one.

I try to help as much as I can, but my belly has gotten a little bigger and it takes my breath away to bend over for too long, so I supervise. I’m the foreman of pointing my finger and saying, “I think that goes there.”

It frustrates the guys to no end, but what can they do?

With my belly getting bigger, I’ve retired more clothes to the back of the closet and have grown used to putting on yoga pants every day, seeing as I can no longer button my pants anymore. My shirts are stretched, and I pop the seams trying to get into blouses. When I vented to Quinn, she suggested I cave and order maternity clothes.

“I don’t think I want to spend money on clothes I’ll never wear after I give birth. It’s pointless.”

“Girl, you have so much longer to go, and you’re only going to get bigger. You have to buy clothes that fit.”

“Can’t I just lay in bed every day like a beached whale?”

A few days later, I received a package with maternity skinny jeans and blouses that actually stretch. I offered to pay Quinn back for buying me clothes, but she insisted that it was a gift from one friend to another. I’m super grateful to her, and as much as I worry about her, I’m just happy she’s back in my life. I know that everyone suggests that I keep one eye open around her at all times, but I don’t think I have to. She’s done nothing to make me believe that she’s going to backtrack. The last thing I want to do is drive her away with nonsense.

To prove to everyone that things are okay with Quinn, I invite her over for dinner. Harper grills some steaks, and Jasper makes the sides, neither one showing any distaste at having her over, but I feel it fuming off of them. It’s not anger or hate; it’s just distrust. I’m sure neither trusts her as far as he can throw her, but it’s not entirely up to them. They’ve always let me make my own choices, so they have to respect my decision to keep her around. We’ve all made mistakes before, so I don’t know why they act like Quinn is the antichrist.

When it’s time for her to arrive, I quickly set the table as the guys get the food together. I’m putting down glasses when I hear Quinn’s car door close.

“Behave. Both of you.” I give the guys a look, causing Harper to roll his eyes and Jasper to raise his eyebrow as if I have no right telling him what to do. Drama Queen, much?

I get to the door before Quinn even has a chance to knock, whipping it open with a smile.

“Hey, thanks for coming!” I wave her in, and she’s holding a glass tray.

“My mom sent homemade banana pudding.” She passes it to me, and before I can even turn around, Harper is there with his hands out.

“I’ll take that off your hands.” As he walks off, I see him pull the top off and ask Jasper for a spoon.

Quinn smiles nervously as she comes in, and I can tell she feels awkward being here for dinner. Every other time she’s stopped by, it’s just been us hanging out. I give her arm a rub as I shut the door behind us. The moment we walk into the dining room, Quinn is greeted with warm, most likely fake, grins. The guys give her light hugs, and Jasper even pulls her seat out for her. I begin to think that this dinner might go well.

The conversation starts to flow, and we all laugh, talk, and enjoy each other’s company. It took Quinn a few moments to relax, but she seems perfectly fine now.

I’m listening to Quinn and Harper discuss today’s music while Jasper frowns at their taste in songs. I’m working on my steak when I glance under the table. I look away, but something draws me back. Under the table, Quinn’s dress is riding up as she anxiously bounces one leg up and down. Barely showing under the hem of the dress are three long slices in her skin.

Immediately, my stomach falls and I feel a little sick. I quickly look away, but when I glance up, Jasper is already staring at me. I know he wants to know what’s wrong, but this isn’t the time. With the others still oblivious, I shake my head a bit, letting him know to drop it for now. It saddens me that Quinn might be struggling more than anyone realizes. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but someone needs to help her if she’s harming herself.

I keep my emotions under wraps for the rest of the dinner, and when we’re done, Quinn stays to help clean up. Watching her, I feel like she’s happy that she’s here, and for a moment, things are like they used to be. She may not be close with the guys, but there is always an open door for Quinn. I can’t imagine how much it hurt her to be shunned. Whether it was her own doing or not doesn’t really make it hurt any less.

I convince Quinn to stay a little longer so I can talk to her about what I saw. I don’t want to drag this on for no reason if she’s already here to talk. I start a fire on the patio while Jasper grabs us two blankets. He still has no clue why I was bothered at the table, but I know he’s going to stay up until I can tell him.

Blankets in hand, Quinn and I sit by the fire with orange sherbet cones. I don’t know whether to make small talk or not, so I decide not to try.

“Quinn, can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure. What’s up?” She licks her cone as she stares at the flames.

Taking a deep breath, I spit it out.

“Are you hurting yourself? On your thigh. I saw the cuts under the table earlier.”

Quinn turns her head so fast to look at me I think I hear her neck pop. Her eyes are wide and a little shocked. She opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. I’m sure this is the last thing she thought I was going to say.

“Eden…it’s nothing. Really, it’s nothing to worry about.” Her leg starts to bounce as her anxiety rises.

“I’m not judging you, I promise. It made me worry for you when I saw that. I know things are hard right now.” I reach out, rubbing her shoulder. Thankfully, she doesn’t push me away.

“I haven’t been doing it that long. I don’t do it often. I know that doesn’t make it good, but it’s all I have right now. The pills make me crazy, and my parents treat me like I’m made of glass. It gets overwhelming. You’re the only thing that calms me, and this night with you all made me feel 100 times better than I’ve felt in a while. I can’t be with you all the time, so I have to manage the best way I can.”

I nod slowly, feeling the pain ooze off her as she tries to explain herself. It’s heartbreaking that she’s going through this. I’ve felt the kind of pain that makes you want to hurt yourself, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

“Just know that I’m here for you, Quinn. I may not be available 24/7, but I am here. I’m not going anywhere. Please, try to talk to someone through. That management method isn’t going to be enough after a while, and you’ll search for more extreme solutions until you go too far. I don’t want that for you.” My eyes water, and in the light of the fire, I see a tear floating over Quinn’s cheek.

“Thank you for being here for me, Eden.” Her voice is slightly numb, but when she looks at me, her eyes are sincere. The two emotions don’t mesh and make her look unstable.

I’m starting to think that everyone might be right about something being off with Quinn.