CHAPTER 87
CHAPTER 87
And then I heard Sadie’s loud, posh voice.‘Nick darling, how do I look in this dress? Pregnant and stylish or pregnant and fat?’
Before I knew it, I’d thrown my phone at Smedley’s Bank window.
A guy in an army jacket shouted, ‘Yeah! Smash the fat cats!’
When I got home, I told Mum and Dad about the bank account.
I said, ‘What am I going to do?’
Dad said, ‘Your mum will take you out this afternoon and get everything you need. Just write a list.’
I started crying. I said, ‘You already look after Brandi and Callum. It’s bad enough I’m living with you.’
Dad said it was fine. He said it would be a good opportunity to economise and re-evaluate their spending.
He put on his reading glasses, got out his household expenses notebook and crossed out ‘Sky TV’ with his Spitfire Ale pencil.
Mum shouted at him to fuck off.
Then a big argument blew up about what was important and what wasn’t.
It got really nasty when Mum threatened to sell Dad’sLord of the Ringsfigurines.
I told them no one needed to sell anything.
Dad said I’d always be his little girl and he’d sell the clothes off his back if he had to.
I cried even more then.
In the end, Mum and Dad insisted on transferring money into my bank account.
I promised to pay them back, but they said, ‘You just worry about Katy.’
Al thea’s right.
I should remember to count my blessings.
I have the best family in the world.
Monday August 17th
Althea has signed me up for ‘Sing and Splash’ at the posh sports club just outside the village.
It starts on Wednesday.
I found out this morning, when Althea face-timed me at 6.15am.
She said, ‘Come on Jules! Embrace the day. Get your bra on. Wipe all that crap out of your eyes. We’re hitting Oxford Street to buy you a swimming costume.’
Then she waved a leaflet in front of her phone.
It said:
Sing and Splash
Help your little ones with their social and cognitive development.
Shallow water – low risk of drowning.
Althea said, ‘I know, I know. It’s all a little bit establishment. But fuck it – the kids will love it.’
When I told Althea about all the bank account stuff, she waved her turquoise-ringed fingers at the camera and said, ‘Don’t be stupid. I’ll pay.’
I tried to argue, but there’s no point arguing with Althea. She’s like a steamroller.
So off we went into London.
Althea banned me from Topshop, New Look or River Island.
She said, ‘You’re a mum now. You need padding and wire.’
So we went around old lady shops like Marks and Spencer and Laura Ashley.
The ones that sell clothes for women who don’t have sex anymore.
I found myself in a world of black one-pieces with ruched bust lines and old lady flower patterns.
I still looked four months pregnant in all of them.
Then we went to John Lewis.
Althea suggested I try a bikini, but I don’t want my wrinkly stomach on display.
Althea said, ‘Posh Spice has a wrinkly stomach.’
I said, ‘That’s why she never wears a bikini.’
As we were walking through the make-up department, Althea shouted about make-up being ‘one big establishment con.’ She talked about the pressures of being female and how every woman is beautiful without ‘any of this crap’.
Then a make-up lady told Althea she had beautiful eyelashes. Althea went all giggly and agreed to try a new mascara, ‘just for a laugh’.
The make-up lady shone a bright light in my face and told me I should try a light diffusing powder for fine lines.
As she was dusting my face, I saw Nick walking through the perfume department. With Sadie.
My stomach dropped to my knees.
I tapped Althea on the arm and we both stared.
Nick was his usual swaggering self.
Sadie looked amazing. Glowing I suppose is the word. Showing a little bit, but not much. Slim too – especially around her face. Shiny light-brown hair like ironed silk.
She was wearing skinny jeans and brown knee-high boots, a loose blouse and an expensive-looking chiffon scarf wrapped around her neck.
She looked more like a mum than I did, as a matter of fact. All classy and mature.
She picked up some designer sunglasses, tried them on and looked at Nick with a ‘don’t I look great?’ expression.
Althea whispered, ‘Thatbitch.’
We watched as Nick’s hand slid down to Sadie’s toned backside.
Sadie threw her head back and laughed her horsey laugh.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so small. I started sobbing.
I’m fat …
I have a weird stretchy, wobbly stomach …
My baby still wakes up at night …
I have spotty upper-arms …
And I don’t wear scarves …
Althea crushed me into a big bosomy hug and said, ‘You’re a million times more beautiful than that big-faced cow. Come on. I’m buying you some chocolate cake.’
When I got home, I went straight to my room.
At about eight o’clock, I heard a soft knocking on the door.
It was Mum.
She’d brought me a pint of Guinness on a silver tray.
Then she told me about an old boyfriend of hers, Brian Tuck, who went off with her best friend on Christmas Eve. Worst of all, she’d already bought his Christmas present – a Lovett-green jumper. But she said it all worked out for the best. Because the shop took the jumper back. And then she met Dad.
‘But what about Katy?’ I sniffed. ‘Nick hasn’t even seen her.’
Mum said, ‘Kids accept life for how it is. We should learn a thing or two from them and stop crying about what can’t be changed.’
We looked at Katy, sleeping in the cot.
She did look very contented.
Maybe Mum’s right. I mean, Callum doesn’t have a dad and he’s the happiest little boy there is. Perhaps because of all the Coca-Cola he drinks, but still …
Tuesday August 18th
When I woke up this morning, the sun was shining.
I looked at Katy – all smiles, throwing herself at the travel-cot netting.
I thought again about Althea counting her blessings.
And I counted mine.
I have a beautiful healthy baby.
I have amazing family and friends.
I can help myself to Guinness and salt and vinegar crisps whenever I want.
I told Katy, ‘Let’s open up those curtains and welcome the day.’
When I did, this old man jogged past in running gear. He was probably seventy years old, but he was bounding along.
I said, ‘Do you know what, Katy? I’m going to run that marathon. I’m going to train and I’m going to finish it.’
I stuck Katy in her pram and ran all the way to the woods and back again.
And for the first time in ages I saw the sunshine.