SIXTY - FIVE

SIXTY - FIVE
RAFFAELE

Exhaustion from forlorn hope was slowly wearing me down, physically, and yet I had strained myself to stay awake and held onto her hand. The sleep finally won, having taken me down by the side of her bed.
Amadeo visited once, requesting me to go back while he would wait but I flat out refused. I had once made the mistake of leaving her alone and trying to do the logical thing, but not anymore. There was no way I would be leaving her side and not a force in the world that could make me do it.
So I fought with time, destiny and whatever the fuck that came our way and conversed with her, even though it was one-sided.
Even though she could not hear me, I knew she could feel me. Feel the love and absolute gravity we had between each other.
Sometime in the middle of the night, I jerked awake by a small sound when a nurse entered the room. She paused and hesitated in her step, but when I nodded, she gingerly went ahead and changed her drip. The cycle continued every two or three hours when someone would come up, change the drips, check her temperature and take the records back to the station.
And all this while, I stayed by her side. There were times I did not know how to feel, what to say when she would wake up.
My heart stuttered, ached and broke every time I looked at her.
My beautiful salvation.
In the wee hours of the dusk, I must have dozed off again because a small movement snapped me out. It was not the door or a routine presence of hospital staff; it was my hand that was holding her.
Celestia’s fingers pulsed and then weakly squeezed mine.
For a second there, I forgot to breathe.
The earth stopped.
Celestia was waking up!
I quickly stood up and leaned over her bed to caress her face. The morning sunlight filtering through the long blinds and white curtains rushed into the room and fell over her splayed hair on the pillow.
“Bambi, wake up for me, please,” I whispered softly, almost crying in happiness. All these feelings were so foreign to me a few weeks ago, and now, I was drowning in them.
Her pretty, dreamy eyes blinked sleepily. With enormous effort, she slowly lifted her eyes lashes and looked up.
“Raff…Raffaele,” she croaked and slurred my name, and I wanted to wrap her in my arms and never let her go.
But because I could not physically do that, I smiled down at her with glassy eyes and immense relief. “You are awake.” For a man like me, it was a pretty stupid and weak observation, but I did not fucking mind it one minute.
Her tongue darted out, licking the seam of her dry lips and eyes scanning the room. “Where…am I?”
There was a small hidden fear in her eyes, and because Celestia has never been in a hospital before, I quickly answered. “You are in a hospital, but you are safe now.” I kissed her nose and smoothed her hair. “You are safe, I promise.”
Her eyes widened minutely before filling up with tears that helplessly rolled down her pale cheeks.
Fuck.
I took her face into my hands and peppered kisses all over, cooing and coaxing, “I am here, I am here, sweetheart. Please talk to me.”
“They will find me, they will...”
“Shh.” I slowly shook my head, convincing that I could banish all her fears. “No one will find you. No one. I am not leaving your side. Please, look at me.”
There was only fear in her eyes, not being able to acknowledge anything I was trying to say. Celestia kept sobbing, hiccuping her words painfully.
“He will…he will find me, take me away…”
Fuck. What do I do?
How do I make her understand?
I frantically looked around the room and tried to take her into my arms — some sort of half embrace, just to soothe her mind and put it to rest. All the while, I murmured. “No one would ever take you away from me. I won’t let them. I swear, baby.”
When Celestia calmed a bit and started slurring, I calmed for a nanosecond until the heart monitor spiked.
Incessant noise filled the room as I banged the alarm.
A horde of people rushed in, nurses and doctors and all I remembered were that someone was pulling me away from her.
Please, come back. I need you.


Celestia came in and out of consciousness way too many times for me to panic and snap at the nurses and doctors for being this ineffective to control her system. One moment they would tell me that she was doing fine, and the next, how things could go sideways anytime soon. I was going out of mind as I paced outside the room for hours until Amadeo showed up.
“What happened?” he jogged over to me. “I got some fifty plus messages from you.”
I frowned up. “The doctors are useless here. They don’t know a thing about her condition and pumping her with god-knows-what medicines. We have to shift her somewhere else.”
Instead of doing something about it, Amadeo smiled. He fucking smiled.
“What so fucking funny to you?” I snapped.
“Sorry, sorry.” He placed a hand on my shoulder, sobered. “You are paranoid, Rafe. I do understand how tough it is for you to see her like this. Hell, I don’t have the stomach to see that innocent girl lying like that. But you have got to trust the doctors.”
Scowling, I looked away and winced. “You don’t understand. It’s all my fault.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. What happened was unfortunate. But right now, our priority is that girl in there.”
Even though I nodded, I was still conflicted. Fault or not, I should have protected her. And I failed. I have to live with it all my life.
Around late afternoon, Celestia doused from her sleep, and it was the first time that she asked to be lifted. Since her shoulders were poorly injured, the nurse slid up the bed as I stared and mindlessly rubbed a hand over her arm.
“Look who’s awake. They told me that you slept like a baby.” I braved a smile, even though only her lips twitched. “How are you feeling now?”
Celestia stared at me for a long time; her face utterly devoid of emotions. After what seemed like an eternity later, she nodded mutely.
“Okay. Guess what? I have something to show you.” I tried to sound excited and pulled out my phone. Navigating to the gallery, I showed her the pictures of my room that has been renovated after she had so cute and savagely vandalized. Instead of decorating it back to its own form, I had the designer add a bit of life to it. “Can you recognize it? Can you tell me?”
Her empty eyes blinked at the images and then nodded once again. But no sound whatsoever.
Guess what bambi. I am not giving up on you.
Sliding away the phone, I kissed her forehead and let the feel of my lips linger there for some time. “My precious,” I murmured. “You have no idea how much I missed you.”
I held onto her for a long time, mumbling sweet nothings. Every passing moment drained my hope, but I still held onto it like a life raft. How the hell do I draw her out of the pit of darkness? The girl I knew was unbreakable. She fought, sassed, laughed and pouted.
She winced a bit as I quickly pulled away — afraid that I have hurt her somehow. But when her fingers tightly clutched the fabric of my shirt, I almost stilled.
It was a small thing but a huge gesture.
She held me. She held me!
But when my eyes shot up to her, her lips were quivering, and an endless stream of tears rolled down her cheeks. Shit, what have I done now?
“I am…sorry. I am…so sorry,” she choked and sobbed.
No, no, no. Shit. “Please. Tell me, what’s wrong? Are you hurting? Let me get the doctor.”
Celestia tugged on my shirt tighter. “No. No, please, don’t leave me.”
“Okay, I won’t. I promise.” I carefully wrapped an arm around her and pulled closer into my body.
“The money …it’s gone,” she wept inconsolably.
What? “I don’t understand love.”
Her eyes met mine. “Kyla took it. I am sorry. Your money.”
It was then the realization dawn that she was talking about the fifteen million.
“Jesus Christ.” I chuckled under my breath and sighed with enormous relief. “You will give me a heart attack now.”
“Please don’t hate me, I didn’t know what else...”
Did she really think I’d hate her for this?
“Shh. Shh.” Cupping her chin, I slowly tried to lift up her chin and coaxed, “Look at me, and listen to me. That money means nothing to me. No amount to wealth in the world could match you. You are priceless to me, Celestia.”
Her quivering lips parted slowly but closed down without a word as her brown orbs glazed over my face…searching, seeking.
Maybe she was trying to believe my words but could not.
So I did the only truest thing I could.
I poured my heart and laid it down at her feet.
Holding her gaze, I brushed a thumb over her lips and smiled. “I love you, Celestia Donovan. And nothing in the world could change that.”
I did not care how many times I repeated the words, but when her tears receded, and she fell asleep on my arms, I found the silver lining of my life.


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