SIXTY - SIX

SIXTY - SIX
CELESTIA

For a second, I forgot to breathe.
Raffaele related again. "I love you." And again, until the words echoed to the marrow of my bones and tears streamed down my cheeks in happiness. But tragedy had me torn apart so brutally that I could not utter it back.
I wanted to, I so badly wanted to...but I could not.
But Raffaele understood on a level and held me closer to himself and buried his nose into my hair like some sort of a beautiful calmness. Each time he whispered, cajoled, crooned, and coaxed, my belly tightened at his husky, sensual tone. Something about his voice pulled a chord deep inside of me.
He waited until my tears receded and kissed me back. His lips softened beneath mine, not deepening enough to hurt me. And with that beautiful kiss, the last remaining tension coiled into my spine finally siphoned away.
Nothing else mattered, but this moment.
Him.
Me.
Us.
We were finally together, triumphed over every tragedy that life threw at us.

I woke up to the sun's shimmering rays, forcing its way into the bleak hospital room through the blinds and pale curtains. Despite the beeping monitor, there was an ethereal calmness rather than defeating silence. With my eyes closed, I felt my center and blessed moment being in the arms of a man who went above and beyond to show his love and care.
Turning my head, I saw that Raffaele had fallen asleep beside mine, acquiring the smallest space to accommodate himself and careful enough to make me comfortable. I slowly lifted my hand and brushed the hair away from his forehead.
I wished I could find the courage to discuss the awful things I have been through, but I did not know if we were ready to do it as an individual. Raffaele had a temper, and I knew how deeply it had affected him. More importantly, I did not realize how deeply it had ruined me.
The men, the room, Kyla...
I was almost falling into the dark abyss of hell before a firm knock reverberated through the room and jolted him awake. He rubbed his tired eyes and offered me a small smile before getting to answer the door.
And when it swung open, it revealed a soothingly familiar face.
"Hello there," Amadeo walked in with a brilliant smile and edged near my bed. "Morning, sunshine."
"Good morning," I whispered, trying my smile to reflect a matching smile.
He touched my wrist and gave an encouraging squeeze. "Please don't ever give us a scare like that, okay?"
I nodded, still smiling. It was then my eyes flew behind him, where a middle-aged woman stood with a serene yet professional look. It was evident that she was a doctor by the attire, and it only formalized when she stepped forward with a warm and hearty look.
"Hello Celestia, I am Dr. Elle Evans," she introduced. "Tell me, how are you doing today?"
"I am good."
"That's wonderful to hear." She reached for my chart and accentuated on the details. "All your reports have come back normal, and by the look of your injuries, you are healing fast. It is a good sign. Your vitals are slightly weak, though, but I believe," she eyes flitted between Raffaele and Amadeo briefly, "—with proper rest, care, and a healthy diet, you will recover as quickly as possible."
"Thank you."
"I will check up on you sometime later."
Dr. Evans slipped out, doling out a formal curtsy as Amadeo scowled at his brother. "You need to go home and shower. And give her some space too."
And obviously, Raffaele could not bite the words without a glare. "No. I am staying."
He most definitely was not. Ever since I woke up, I have found him in the room or by my bed every time. Which meant, he did not go home for a bit. And as much as I enjoyed his company to the fullest, I could deny the dark shadow under his eyes and days of scuff that made him look twice his age.
"He is right," I cut into their conversation and sighed. "Raffaele, I am fine now. But you really need to rest."
"I am not leaving you alone," he muttered, and I could almost hear the hidden words behind his voice.
He was worried sick that if he left me alone, something terrible would happen.
"Listen to her, please," Amadeo implored, "Actually, I have a small surprise for her, and she won't be needing you for a company anymore." He threw me a wink before walking to the door.
Cluelessly, I looked at Raffaele, but he had no idea either. It was only when the door opened again, I almost burst out of happiness.
Lila.
She ran towards me, smiling and crying synchronously and threw her arms around my neck. The small wince was automatic, but it did not hold me back from reciprocating the love.
God, I have missed her.
We did not vocalize for a long beat, only the sniffling happiness and friendly entwined fingers communicated in a way Lila and I understood each other beyond comprehension.
It was Amadeo's voice that broke the silence. "C'mon, Rafe, let's go." He then beamed wide at us and strolled near. "We will leave you both to it. Cesar is outside the door, in case you both need anything. Just holler—that would do."
I nodded and expressed a gracious 'thank you' as Amadeo dropped a small kiss on my forehead. "Get well soon."
Even though Raffaele was reluctant to leave, he knew that Lila would be a great company and support to me. "I will come back soon," he promised and planted a small kiss on the lips before leaving.
At last, it was just us as I sighed blithely. "Lila...you came."
"How could I not?" she whispered. "The news almost killed me. When Cesar told me... could not stop myself."
I only wondered how much they knew and translated. The horrors of every moment I had to spend there almost ripped me apart. And I was not sure if I would ever be able to tell it to anyone.
"It feels like one bad nightmare, except I have to live with it now," I choked on the words because they physically hurt.
She gave me a joyless smile. "If I have known anything about nightmares, that they are meant to be forgotten."
When Lila walked into a room, she might not exude supreme confidence, but I knew her story. I knew how terribly painful they were, perhaps more than mine, and the fact that she flawlessly wore her happiness on her sleeve, it awed me. How was she so courageous and radiant?
"How do I forget them?" I asked her because she was the best one to guide me. "Every time I close my eyes, it crawls into my subconscious like a horror movie, and I don't know if I can ever..."
She held my palm between hers. "It crawls into you because you are running away from it. Every devil in the world loves a chase. I know it is a lot easier to say than follow, but when you accept and move on, you will have more control of yourself."
I took a sharp inhale and stared at the ceiling, marinated in grief. "How did I not see it coming?"
"How could you? She was your…" Lila trailed off and shook her head. For the first time, I saw a spark of true anger on her face. "I don't even want to use the term mother. She doesn't deserve it."
"The signs were right in front of me," I mumbled, more to myself. "But in my head, I kept making excuses for her lacking. I kept justifying for her faults."
Raffaele warned me so many times. If only I heeded his words. A stranger, of all people, looked out for me when no one was there for me.
"That is what all of us do," Lila interpreted. "The first person we blame for a fault is ourselves. Do you know why? It is the easiest thing to do."
I squeezed her hand. "Will I ever be normal again? Because right now, I feel anything but normal."
She gave me one of her beautiful smiles, only It was not glittering. "You are asking someone who has not crossed a boundary until today for almost ten years in the fear that anything bad would happen to me if I do. How is that for normal?"
Even though I could describe in words, I was stunned beyond reason to see her here. The deep-rooted fear she cultivated from the endless trauma of her captivity and rape, Lila was devastated. Her confinement to the villa boundary was more of a mental satisfaction than self-preservation.
"Thank you, Lila. I know how tough it was for you, and you still did."
She stayed silent for a long second, staring down before bringing her eyes to meet mine. "Do you know how I could? How I managed to finally break free of my phobia?"
I shook my head mutely as she continued.
"It is because of you, Celestia. All this time, no one ever could break me out of my shell, and the moment Cesar told me about you, I did not think twice. I knew that I had to see you. You are probably the only friend and family I ever had."
The words halted my world.
My life was ironic, at best. At a point where my old life crashed and burned right in front of my eyes, and my skin was recovering from the scorches of glowing embers, I found a friend, lover, and a potential family.
A bunch of people who left no stone unturned to make me happy and gladly welcomed with open arms.
It almost tore me up. "I don't know what to say," I chin wobbled. "I have received so much love and care in a few months that it compensated for all the loneliness. I am speechless."
"You deserve it."
"You deserve no less, Lila. I have never had a friend before you, and I wished and prayed I did. But life has a funny way of compensating me."
She proudly lifted her chin, feigning wisdom. "Someone once told me that good things happen to great people. And you are just magnificent."
I smiled—actually laughed. With my heart full and beaming with her happiness. This was quintessentially Lila and the halo of brightness she carried around herself.
Adjusting to sit a little, I flashed a wisdom smile of my own and cleared my throat. "You are not completely right, though."
"About what?"
"That I am the only friend and family you have. Cesar cares for you more than you know, or you want to believe." She opened her to protest, but I shushed. "And before you object to that—think hard. Why would he look out for you at every turn?"
She blushed a little and admitted sheepishly. "Okay. I agree that he is a little vague but caring. Well, at least he tries. And while we are talking about me, can we address the big fat elephant in the room too?"
She gave me a look and quirked up a brow suggestively.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Right, so we are not going to talk about the kiss?" she hinted.
I rolled my eyes but could not hide the smile that naturally crept closer. "That...it is nothing. I mean...whatever."
Lila burst out laughing. "I should tell you that I have never seen sir so wrought up than the past few days. He would not eat or sleep and then snap at people for no reason, and he won't come out of your room for hours."
"My room?" I gaped stuttering. "It was not exactly my room."
"Maybe, but for him, it was your room. Or his and yours?" She threw me a wink and giggled like a schoolgirl.
"I…we...that is not what—"
"No point feeling shy when everyone around him can see how much he cares for you, Celestia." With a long and content sigh, Lila whispered, "Now, all you have to do is get well soon and come home."
Home? Did I really have one?
The first day, Raffaele forced me to stay inside his majestic villa, I thought it was a golden cage. Little did I know that it would turn out to be my safe haven. That it would break my heart the day if I have to leave it all behind.
"Home," I repeated the word almost wistfully. "I don't know what to say."
But it seemed that Lila knew for sure. "Roselli villa is your home," she said with conviction, "And deep down, you know that as well."

Chapter 67 is also! Check it out. :) Love and hugs!