Chapter 18
The next morning was terrible. Sandra had come to check on me and I had muttered something to get her to leave. I wanted to be alone. I had sent the money to my dad as soon as Jax had sent it and there hadn’t been as much as a thank you.
I had called him, and he had confirmed that he received it.
Jax on the other hand, I had texted him and told him I had received the money, with a thank-you attached to the text. I don’t know what I expected after his sudden change of attitude, but it was not for him to ignore my message so blatantly. I felt so embarrassed.
But I asked myself why exactly he had kissed me.
I had to admit that my mind had gone to the kiss more times than I wanted to process. It had been very short, with minimal contact. Just his lips and the tip of his tongue touching my lips. And even though I had not properly thought of it when it happened, the spark that went through my body when our lips had made contact was all I could think of.
I wondered if he had felt that spark. I doubted. If he had felt the spark, then he would not have pushed me away so brusquely. I had waited for a message from him, and when it had finally reached me, it was to tell me that we were going to meet up with the board of directors the next day and that he was going to send a stylist over to complete my outfit.
I had wanted to burst into tears, but I had swallowed the cries, no matter how unhealthy that was. I was tired of crying, tired of feeling helpless, and tired of paying for my father’s sins. If this was what turned Jax off me, then so be it. It was never meant to be then.
I had repeated the last sentence about five times in my head, but it had still not taken away any of the pain.
It was exactly 8:20 a.m. when someone rang the bell. I knew immediately that it was the stylist. I had gotten ready and I was waiting for them. So, when I opened the door, I was pleasantly surprised. Jax had told me 8:30, and they were here by 8:20.
It was a tiny woman with beautiful wide eyes.
“Are you Reine Graham?” she asked in a tiny voice.
I nodded and a smile from nowhere materialized on her face.
“Good. Let’s go.”
I was surprised at how brusque she was being, but I picked my bag up and followed her. Apparently, the whole trip was going to be very bougie. We had a driver, and he was going to accompany us to all the shops we were going to go to. And finally, to the spa where I had the right to a massage.
It seemed like a really interesting prospect. Lord knows I needed to be pampered after all the stress I had gone through, especially these past weeks. So, I didn’t complain as the stylist moved me around. From shop to shop for us to find the perfect outfit.
And apparently, the perfect outfit was supposed to be formal but not too formal. So, I couldn’t wear a suit ensemble. But a silk shirt, paired with matching silk pants and accessorized quite stylishly was okay. Under normal circumstances, I would have enjoyed the whole pampering. But with how occupied my mind was, I couldn’t even be still enough to get myself to relax.
By noon, I was done with everything and a driver was taking me to ColElectronics grounds. My heart felt strangely heavy, beating like there was actually something between Jax and me, and we needed these men’s approval. I was very nervous.
But I couldn’t explain the joy that took over me when I saw Jax standing in the parking lot. I wanted to smile but I remembered the events of the previous day and stopped myself. But then I also remembered that we were supposed to be engaged and plastered the smile back on my face. I could feel that this pretense was going to drain me.
Instead of the driver coming to open the door for me, Jax did. Then he helped me to get out of the car. I smiled up at him when I got out, trying to wobble nervously as we stood there. There was a small secret smile on his face. And even though I knew that it was for the benefit of the people that were watching us, my pulse started racing. It felt so real.
I had to remind myself that all of this was for play. It was for show. He put his hand on the small of the back and leaned down towards me. Then he said, “How are you?”
I was surprised. I looked up at him and our eyes met. I felt heat rushing to my cheeks. “I’m okay,” I said in a small voice.
“I’m glad.”
That was all we said till we reached the elevator. The atmosphere became awkward right away. I couldn’t bear to look at him anymore after last night. Plus, I was trying to convince myself of the fact that I had already given up on whatever feelings I was growing for him. And making any kind of contact was going to do nothing but hinder my progress.
“We’re going to head to my office first, when we talk, then we will head over to the conference room. Okay?”
“Okay,” I said quietly.
I mean, what else could I even say? No? He would probably ask me immediately to reimburse the money he had sent to me the previous night. And I was sure that my dad had already sent part of the payment to the bank and gambled with the rest.
No matter what he thought, I was not a fool. I saw all he did, and I knew that he gambled all of the money I gave him away. I had tried to stop, telling myself that I was only helping his bad habit. But after he threatened me violently and manipulated me, I kept up.
It was weird that I knew he was manipulating me, but I kept giving in to his game.
“Reine?” I heard, and I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
I looked up at Jax who was staring at me with a questioning look on his face. “Yes?” I answered, arching my brow slightly.
“You didn’t hear a word of what I just said, did you?”
I hadn’t even been aware he was talking so my brow furrowed a bit. Had I been so lost in thought that I had zoned out? It wouldn’t be the first time it was happening anyway.
“I’m sorry,” I said, a little mortified.
“It’s fine. We’ll talk in my office.”
As soon as he said this, the elevator door opened, and we got out. I noticed a lot of people trying to get his attention, but Jax didn’t give any of them the time of the day. We went straight to his office after he had given a bunch of fake smiles and nods to them.
As for me, I knew they were staring at me curiously. But I didn’t care. I was used to be people staring. They had done that to me in Youngstown for most of my teenage and adult life. Actually, if I was being honest, they had done it for most of my life. I was already used to the stares, and I already knew to look straight in front and not pay them any mind. Which was what I was doing.
We walked for a bit before we got to his office. My heart started beating. Curiously enough, I had not been nervous when we were walking, no matter how many people were staring at us. But now, when we were about to get into a room where it was going to be just us two, my heart rate kicked up.
I swallowed and closed my eyes as he opened the door to his office, ignoring his secretary who was probably looking at me like I was a madwoman. When Jax opened the door and ushered me in, I took in a deep breath and walked in, and I swear my heart stopped when he locked the door behind us.
When I turned back, Jax was just standing there and staring at me. I wondered what was going through his mind. But I was not going to ask. It was going to be setting myself up for free disdain. I had already experienced enough of that my entire life, and I didn’t need any more of it.
I was waiting for him to give the conclusion to this whole story so I could get over with the meeting and not have to look at his perfect face again.