Chapter 17

Reine I stared at Jax then looked away. I didn’t know how exactly I was going to tell him I needed money. I had thought about it a thousand times and still no damned idea. The best thing was to just ask directly. If the esteem he had for me, if he ever had any at all, dropped, I was going to have to accept it. Just like I had accepted every other terrible thing that had happened to me.

“Jax…” I started.

He furrowed his brows and leaned towards me. There was worry written all over his face and I felt it was genuine.

“What’s wrong? Talk to me,” he said.

I resisted the urge to let out a bitter chuckle. I could not explain how much I hated my father. I had never imagined that the thought of me hating my father would be so clear. But I resented him so much in that instant that I didn’t think it was just resentment. I was tired. Every good thing I had ever had, every good thing that was supposed to happen to me he had ruined. I just wanted to be happy without him interfering and making things worse for me.

“I… uhm, the contract stated that I could ask for money before everything ended, right?” I was so nervous; I could feel the knots in my stomach.

I was trying so hard not to cry, especially when his expression switched from worried to wary. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or cry, to be honest. I had seen this coming and that was why I had tried not to get attached. But it had happened, especially with how well this man treated me. It was inevitable that I got attached to him, even if it was just a little bit.

“It did.”

Jax’s voice was a little short so I took in a deep breath. I wasn’t supposed to be this anxious. The contract stated it, so it was okay to do.

“I need $5,000.”

Silence.

I fought the urge to hit my fingertips on the table as I waited for his response. It was really hard not to do anything that didn’t scream anxiety.

“Okay I’ll get in contact with my manager and she will have the funds wired to you by tomorrow,” he said.

I really couldn’t figure out his tone and the expression on his face. Both were unreadable, and for one of the first times since we had met each other, I was face to face with Jax the businessman, future CEO of ColElectronics. And not Jax who teased me about the fact that I didn’t want him to stare at me.

“I… I need it today,” I said, and bit my lip.

I lifted my eyes and for the first time since I had spoken about needing money, our eyes met. Indecipherable. I knew I had broken the dynamic we had started with and I felt guilty but what could I do? I had chosen to accept his deal for one reason only: the money. I had never imagined that I would actually hold him in high esteem and that his disdain for me would hurt me.

His brow furrowed a little.

“I will do my best to have it wired to you by tonight,” he said after a brief silence.

I let out a small sigh of relief then said, “Thank you.”

“Are you done? Shall we leave?”

His tone was suddenly much more formal, and I fought to stop the tears that I knew were imminent. I didn’t want to bawl like a baby in front of him. I didn’t want him to know that he affected me this much. Even though it was probably very obvious.

I nodded as an answer to his question. If I had opened my mouth in that instant, my voice would have been very hoarse and Jax would have sensed that something was up. So, I swallowed and stood after he pulled my chair. I felt his hand on the small of my back while we were walking out of the restaurant and for a split second, I wished all of this were real.

Then I banished the thoughts from my mind. Wishful thinking was only going to get me hurt. I didn’t need that. We got into the car silently and the ride to Sandra’s apartment was just as silent. I didn’t know what to make of all of this. I spent my time stealing looks at him and being even more discouraged by the unreadable look on his face.

I half expected Jax to just send me out of the car and drive off. But just like the other days, he walked out and opened the door. It was late, so the driveway was dark and empty. I looked up at him, unsure. He was staring down at me, frowning a little.

I leaned against the car, a bit scared by the intensity of his stare. I swallowed and decided to get over my fear and talk to him. As soon as I opened my mouth, Jax’s head was down and his lips were on mine.

I couldn’t process anything; my hands went to his shoulders automatically. The kiss lasted a few seconds before Jax pulled away. We stared at each other for a short moment then he moved away from me and wiped his face with his left hand.

I was left there staring at him as he went through what looked like a whole lot of questioning. Jax walked back towards me, then said, “Good night.”

Oof. It felt like someone had poured a bucket of cold water on me. It didn’t matter that he had just kissed me. The rejection in those two words was clear. I felt like I was choking. I moved away from the car and walked towards Sandra’s entrance, not bothering to answer.

I couldn’t stop myself from looking back and he was still standing there, staring straight at me. I felt some kind of chill then I brushed it off and walked to the elevator. I felt like just breaking down, but I held it in. This was the first time my father was fucking things up for me. I had gotten used to it.

Sandra was home when I got in. I smiled at her with a small hey and wanted to go straight to my bedroom. But she stopped me. There was a worried look on her face and no matter how much I hated worrying her, I didn’t want to talk at that moment.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m tired,” I said, with another fake smile.

She stared at me then she left me.

“Okay,” Sandra said. “Talk later?”

“Talk later,” I answered, then I walked straight into the bedroom and locked the door.

Today was a sad day.