Chapter 38 Questions

Jamie's POV

I sit here in Wes' arms shivering from fear as much as the cold. *He is the only thing real to me right now.* He is solid and warm. His heartbeat plays an erratic drum beat in my ears. His touch is comforting and reassuring. *He is here! He came for me!*

But I still don't get it as I look through the dark shadows at a man I had trusted. Not that I knew him for very long, *but he was supposed to be my boss!* He was supposed to be someone that wouldn't hurt his employees.

I am in complete shock. Rodrick Grayson is naked on the floor with Officer Young with his hands tied behind his back. If I didn't know what was going on, I'd say this was a scene from a very naughty book. *But it's really not what it sounds like.*

"Hello, my dear. You know, I almost had you," he snickers like a crazy person as he looks at my body with lust in his eyes. "I heard you were pure... And I wanted it. *That boy* doesn't deserve to take your innocence!"

I can't even look him in the face. Just his voice is making me sick... And the look in his eyes? It's too much! *I never want to see that man again.*

I turn my face into Wes' chest and sob. He was planning on taking my virginity... For what? *Some strange sense of satisfaction?* And what would he have done with me after he took me? Was he planning on keeping me? Killing me? Selling me? *I don't think I actually want to know!*

In the back of my mind I hear raised voices as the officers yell at my old boss. I hear him laughing like a maniac, but I can't pay attention to what it is they are actually saying or what he is responding with. *Nothing is making it through my mind.*

I heard Officer Young haul him out of the room... I have no idea if they let him put his pants back on or not... I couldn't bring myself to look. The sudden quietness of the room doesn't seem to help my nerves in the least.

"Jamie?" a female voice calls my attention.

I startle, forgetting we were not alone in the room and look back at Officer Wilson. I notice there are a few other officers going in and out of the room and going up and down the hallway. *When did they get here?* But I can't focus on them right now... Nothing feels real... I feel like I'm floating above my body and this is all happening to someone else with a more exciting life than mine.

"Yes?" I whisper.

"I need to ask you some questions," she explains.

For the next ten minutes, Wes holds me close as I answer the nice lady officer's questions. I'm glad she is a woman... *I don't know if I could've done it if she was a male officer.* She wrote everything down on a pad of paper.

I don't even remember what I was saying. My responses are robotic. I don't even know if I was making any sense. But something must've come out of my mouth as she kept scritching down my answers.

A few minutes later, there are paramedics surrounding me insisting I need to go to the hospital... *But I didn't want to leave Wes!* I didn't feel like going anywhere, unless it was back to Wes' dorm room where he could just hold me and let me sleep.

They told me he could come with me as long as he stayed in the waiting room. I didn't want him to leave me, but we agreed anyway, since we didn't have much of a choice.

He held my hand the whole ride to the hospital in the ambulance. He didn't say much, just that he wasn't leaving me *ever again*. That made me happy, because *I didn't want him to leave me ever again either!*

Then I was whisked away to see a nurse and a doctor who asked me lots of uncomfortable questions. Questions I didn't want to think about. But I had to answer them. They gave me a physical exam and checked everything... *I didn't like it*... It made me feel very vulnerable.

At least they gave me some clothes while I was there. Not that I didn't like Wes' shirt... But my legs were cold and I didn't want people to look at me without clothes on.

*I felt dirty. I wanted my skin to melt off my body*... I wanted to scrub his disgusting touches off my body! What if Wes thinks I'm disgusting now? What if he ditches me?

It seemed to be hours until they let me go back to Wes. He immediately eased my fears, promising me he was not leaving me. He told me it wasn't my fault and he didn't want me to melt my skin off my body because he liked my skin the way it is.

While he was waiting for me he had a couple friends drop his truck off so he could take me home. I didn't even think about that. He'd come with me in the ambulance so we wouldn't have had a way home!

And now here I sit in Wes' arms letting him hold me. I don't remember the ride home, just that I wouldn't let go of his hand the entire time. I know he gave me sweet words of reassurance, but I don't remember what they were.

I wanted to scrub every inch of my skin, but I didn't want to leave Weston. I know I sound crazy, but I actually want Wes' hands on me. I want to feel something normal... But would he even want to touch me ever again?

"Baby, what do you want?" He asks quietly, kissing the top of my head. The gesture is so reassuring and safe.

*He's been so understanding. He hasn't asked me anything, just holding me carefully.* I think he is worried he might break me down. I don't want him to treat me like I'm broken though. I want him to treat me like he did just before he dropped me off at class.

*And suddenly, I know exactly what I want. It isn't about sex. I think it's about having some sort of control. I just need a little bit of control, because I feel like I've lost that in the last few hours. I need to have some control over something right now... Even if it's my own body...*

"I... I want a shower..." I whispers.

"Oh... okay," he says as he stands with me still in his arms, carrying me bridal style to his bathroom. I cuddle up in his arms enjoying his protective embrace. I just want to stay here forever.

Wes apparently called Ryan and told him he needs to find somewhere else to sleep tonight. I don't know how exactly it all went down, but Ry seemed to understand. I don't know how much he told his roommate, but considering Wes is still ticked at Ry, he seemed to want to be very accommodating.

He places me on the toilet seat carefully. He grabs out a clean towel that I am assuming is his and places it on the sink. Then turns on the water, sitting in front of me until it gets steamy.

Then he leans over and kisses my nose. *"I'm just gonna be right out the door,*" He promises, rising.

I grab his shirt, refusing to let him go. I can't have him in another room! I need him here with me! I tug him back toward me in a panic.

He looks back at me with a question in his eyes, before he resumes his original position in front of me, smoothing my hair from my face and a soothing gesture.