Chapter 39 Safe

Jamie's POV

"What else do you need sweetheart?" He asks. He has so much understanding in his eyes it fills me with... something.

I don't know what comes over me, *but I can't let him leave me! I need him!* I don't even think when I ask, "Join me?" Yeah, maybe I'm crazy. This is not a normal request, but seems to be something I desperately need right now. *Like I said, I need to feel some sort of control... And this one thing is something only I can control.*

The shock registers over his face, but instead of the lust he would normally show, he looks very unsure. He almost looks afraid to touch me. I can't blame him. I must look like a train wreck. *I don't understand it at all.*

"Baby... Are you sure?" He asks, squatting in front of me, taking me by the hands. He places soft kisses on the back of my hands, giving them both a warm squeeze.

"Yes... I... I wasn't raped, Wes..*. And I need you,"* I whisper. *"I... want you."*

There is a determined look in his eyes as he nods in understanding. I don't know what is going through his mind right now, all I know is that he has decided not to leave me alone.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he promises me with a warm hug. He feels so good right now. This is what I need. Just to have him hold me.

I nod my head. "I know," my voice is quiet in the steamy room.

I watch as Wes then proceeds to strip, and when he is completely naked, he helps me stand. I'm still shaking and worried about what he will think when he sees me.

I let him remove my clothes with his shaky hands. I wonder if he is more nervous that I am right now. *That's kinda funny. But I know Wes will never hurt me.* I trust him with my everything.

Wes swallows hard as he looks down at my body, but he doesn't look repulsed. Quite the opposite. He looks like he wants to worship my body.

Then he takes me by the hand and leads me into the shower.

My body is still shivering. *I'm cold.* I suppose I am still in shock, even after hours of being away from that man. Wes turns me so my back is facing the hot water. It feels so good, but I still can't seem to move.

Wes reaches for his body wash and squirts some into his hand and gives me a questioning look. "Are you sure?" He looks excited and nervous at the same time. I think he really wants to touch me, but he is scared I will freak out..*. But I won't.*

I nod my head. I really want him to touch me. I want to feel the hands of the man who cares about me so much about me wash away the remnants of the man who was going to use and hurt me.

Wes looks nervous as he rubs his hands together creating foam, then gets down on his knees. He starts scrubbing at me feet, making his way slowly up my legs and up to my hips. He seems reluctant to put his hands anywhere sexual. I know he is trying to respect me and help me, and I love him for it. But there is something that I need...

"Wes?" I ask.

"Baby, I'm scared... I don't want to scare you..." he swallows. "I... I love you so damn much, Jamie! I... I don't know what to do to help you!"

The heart in my chest explodes at his words. *He loves me!* I want to show him that I love him to.

I reach for one of his hands and place it above my breast, over my heart. The I step up to his body, pressing my hand to his heart and kiss his skin there.

He looks at me with panic in his eyes.

"Make me forget," I beg. "Make me feel, Wes. Please."

I see the surprise on his face, then the confusion. "Are you sure?"

"Wes... When he was... he almost... *All I could think about was how much I loved you and I wish it was you who.*.." I swallowed, looking up in his eyes.

For a moment, he just looks at me with conflicting emotions playing across his eyes. I know he is struggling with his own emotions. I know he was scared when he found me. I know he wanted to comfort me, but he needs comfort too.

And in the next moment he takes my lips in a soft, slow kiss. I feel his hands move across my skin. It's not rushed and needy. It's gentle and loving as he washes the memories of that horrible man away from my mind.

I focus on the way his body fits so perfectly to mine. I focus on the sweet words of love dripping from his mouth like honey. *I focus on the feeling of completion as I connect to Wes.*

He doesn't take me in the shower. He just touches me and holds me. His kisses light my blood on fire. And yet, he is still taking this slowly and softly.

Finally, when the shower is getting cold he turns off the water and wraps me in a towel. He dries me off carefully before he wraps another around his waist and he carries me into his room, where he lays me on his bed. He snuggles in beside me and pulls me to his chest.

I wrap him between my legs, pulling him closer to me. I can feel him beneath the towel. I know he wants me just as much as I want him, but he doesn't want to push me.

"Baby?" he asks. I know he is trying to be good, but I need him now.

"Please, Wes. Make me yours," I insist.

The look of pure adoration crosses his face. He slowly rolls me over on my back as he hovers above me, kissing the top of my head, my cheeks, my nose, my lips, my jaw and down my chest.

"I love you," he whispers against my skin, causing fireworks to go off in my mind. He looks back at me with so much love it almost hurts before the passion takes over and pulls us into the night.