Chapter 62: I'm so confused

River POV

We all sat and ate breakfast, it was amazing. I was starving, I ate all mine plus a few bites of Finn's and some of Pickle's sourdough toast.

Now I'm stuffed, I want to shower and go back to bed.

Sleeping between Finn and Pickle was probably the most peaceful I've ever slept.

"How long before check out?" I ask Lincoln.

"I called and paid for late check out, so you have a few hours"

"Okay I'm going to pack, shower and nap" I say with a half smile.

They all look at me like I'm going to break any minute.

"Guys, I'm fine. At least for right now I'm okay. It just all seems like a bad dream right now" I give them all a brief smile.

I head to my room to start packing.

I hear a light knock and I turn around, it's Pickle.

"Come in please"

"Kitten, I'm really glad you're feeling good right now but it's going to hit you and it's going to suck ass." He says sweetly.

"I know" I say sadly.

My eyes start tearing up.

He fills the space between us quickly and pulls me into a big warm hug.

He smells so good and I feel safe and warm in his arms.

I've never wanted a man before let alone two and it's all confusing and it's scaring me.

I don't want to hurt either of them.

I shiver as he rubs my back softly and my skin feels electricity surge through it.

"I think if you have a therapist already you should set up an appointment, if you don't have one I can give you the number to mine" he says so sweetly

"You have a therapist too?" I look up at him.

"I even have a dream journal" he laughs.

I just hug him tightly.

We're just both fucked up that's why I feel so comfortable with him.

Finn was right everyone has their own shit.

"Can I have your number? Would that be alright?"

I smile at him and blush.

"Kitten you can have anything you want as long as you keep that smile on your face" he says as he tips my chin up to him.

I hand him my phone.

Ding..

Pickle- Now you have my number Kitten

I laugh

"Did you text me already?"

"Yep can't have you losing my info" he says smiling.

I hug him again tighter this time.

He kisses my forehead and my whole ass stomach flips inside out.

It makes me giggle inside a little.

"I have to go Kitten but I'll see you again"

I nod but don't let go of him.

I look up at him, my eyes full of tears.

"Thank you so much. I can't ever thank you enough for what you did for me last night"

He reaches down and gently tucks my hair behind my ear and says

"You don't ever have to thank me Kitten" he kisses my head again then he turns and leaves.

I want him to stay and hold me and keep kissing me.

I also want Finn though.

I don't want him to leave but I know why he can't stay.

I'm so confused, right now.

Maybe I just need to get my shit figured out before I fuck it up and lose both of them.

I sit on my bed, what's wrong with me?

I can't even give myself to one man let alone two.

It's not fair to either of them.

"River?" I jerk my head up.

I stand and Chailor quickly pulls me into a huge tight hug.

We sit on the bed.

"What do you need?" She asks.

"I don't know?" I start crying.

"Ohhhh sweet girl, I've got you" she says hugging me again.

"I'm so confused. I need a shower and I'm so tried."

"I know love. I'm going to go start you a bath, and we'll get you all cleaned up and let you nap till it's time to go"

I just nod my head.

I flop down on my back and stare at the ceiling for a min.

I can feel him as he comes in the room.

My whole body comes alive at his presence.

I just put my hand out, he grabs it and pulls me up him.

I wrap myself in his arms

"Finn?"

"Yes Doll?"

"Are you mad at me, for having Pickle sleep with us?"

"What! No of course not"

I look up at him now.

He's right he don't look mad, he still looks qulty though.

"Finn?"

"Yes Doll?"

"Will you lay with me, when I'm done cleaning up?"

He leans me back a little and kisses my nose

"Yes, everytime my answer will be yes"

I smile ear to ear at that.

I grab him and kiss him softly and then I pull away and head to the bathroom

Finn POV

I watch as she heads to the bathroom.

God help me, I love this woman.

"We're going to head next door, if you need anything let us know Finley"

"I will Linc, thank you"

Chailor comes over and hugs me tightly.

"I love you" she smiles at me.

"I love you too sister" I say kissing her on the cheek.

"She'll be okay" she's says as she lightly presses her hand to my cheek.

She glances back at me one last time before she grabs Linc's hand and they head out.

I go to my room and grab my bag and pull out some sweats and a t-shirt to change into.

I need a quick shower too.

River comes walking out with her hair in a towel.

"I'm going to go jump in the shower really fast"

"Okay, come lay with me when you're done please" she says

I kiss her head and head to shower.

As I'm getting out I hear a ding...

Someone texted me.

River- I'm in my room

Me- Okay,  I'm heading that way

Ding....

Flame- I'm so sorry Finn

Me - Flame sweetheart this wasn't on you

She's fine.  How are you?

Flame- I'll live. I'm at the club in the ring right now getting a grip on my shit. Are you okay?

Me- I'm okay as long as she is

Flame- Would she be okay with me texting or calling her?

Me - I'm sure she would.

Flame- Smile emoji

I grab the rest of my stuff and get it packed and drop my bag by the door on my way to River.