Chapter 61: I just need time to wrap my head this.

Brain POV

He sighs heavily at me.

"Pickle really likes her man, like really likes her. I've never seen this dude look so love sick in my life" he finally spits out.

I mean Pickle's a great guy.

He has he's shit but we're all a bunch of head cases.

"I know and trust him and she trusts the other one Spencer, so I guess it could be worse" I say to him.

"I need to do some research first. I should have looked for her, I should have checked" I say so full of guilt.

"Let's just keep this here, till I decide what I'm going to do with this information. No Pickle either"

They both nod.

"I need time to wrap my head around this"

She's just been though so much, it will be too overwhelming for her.

Fuck, it is for me.

I start heading back into my computer room and I notice my friend and my girl looking at each other worriedly.

"What? What do you two know?" I ask them both

Flame comes and bends down and takes my hands.

"Chevello, I don't think you should look into her past. Maybe just get to know her first and let her tell you"

"Why, what did he do to her!? Was she alive in that hole, did I leave her there? Was she even in that hole!?" I yell.

Flame jumps.

"Baby I'm sorry, It's just so much. I left her, everything that happened to her after that was my fault"

I can't think through all these questions I have, through all this guilt I have.

Flame's eyes meet mine.

She stands and climbs up on me and wraps herself around me the best she can.

"Ryder, please. You can't blame your self for anything that happened, your were just a child and it's not like you were in the best health when Pinky found you. Please, stop blaming yourself. Please don't go looking through her past, no good will come of this"

"I agree with Flame man, Pickle says she's strong and amazing. You should just get to know her like this" Lucky says.

"I have to know what he did to her! You don't understand!" I say full of guilt and anger.

"No you don't!" Flame says standing up.

"Your just going to drowned your self in guilt, I don't like it! I can't watch you do that to yourself. It's her business and I think you should let her decide to tell you!" she's pissed.

I just shake my head "No I'm sorry your wrong, she's my baby sister and I have to know! I have to know what happened after he buried me!" I yell back at her.

"I don't want to invade her privacy like this, I leaving!" she's standing now.

I look at her and we just look each other in the eyes for a long while.

"Baby I can't watch you hurt yourself like this. I won't. I'm leaving. Please, please don't"

She quickly grabs her phone and calls her driver as she grabs my face and kisses me deeply.

"I love you Ryder" she says.

"Please stay with him Lucky"

He just nods to her.

I turn my chair and head to my office.

I hear the bed squeak as lucky gets off and falls behind me.

"Hey Brain, brother. I not saying this to make it worse but Pickle says she's got some scars, really bad ones. Maybe Flame's right, maybe you should just look at the club footage and let her decide about the rest" I hear concern in his voice.

"We can start there but I'm already being eaten up by guilt and it can't be worse then what I'm imagining"

"Okay I'm here no matter what you decide. Your asshole father's already dead. I just don't think it will do anybody any good to go poking through people's pasts without permission" he says as he puts his hands up in surrender.

I look down at my hands, eyes full of tears.

I know their right.

I know they are.

I just have to know.

I have to know what happened to her.

I have to know what kind of life she had without me there to keep her safe.

I would have went back for her, if had known I would have saved her no matter the cost.

I can't imagine what she had to go through without anybody to protect.

"I have to know Lucky. I understand what you guys are saying and why you're saying it but I have to know!"

He puts his hand on my shoulder as I type her name into the computer.

"I hope you're right man" he gives my shoulder a squeeze as I hit enter.

Lucky POV

This is horrible, I can barely make it through the pictures, police reports and medical records.

I can't imagine how it would be if it was my sister or someone I loved.

She was just a child for fuckes stakes.

She was only 15 when this monster did this to her.

He's lucky his dead. We made that piece of shit Henry McFoy suffer for almost 2 days for the shit he did to our best friend but if I had known what he did to her, he would have seen a real monster!

The pictures and reports from the hospital are horrendous, how did someone so small live through this?

I've seen some horrible things, hell I've lived through some horrible things.

I know what Flame went through with her father and how hard her recovery was. She was lucky that Mr. Nunzio found her and was able to get her the best help out there but this girl went through it all alone.

Brain is crying and breaking stuff and I can't quit looking at her small body all bandaged up with tubes coming out from everywhere.

I feel a drop of something wet hit my hand and at first I thought it was something Brain broke or threw, it took a minute for me to realize it was a tear from me.

I haven't cried since I was 13 when Pickle told me his story and showed me his back.

Up to this point that was the most horrendous thing that lived in my head.

I quickly wipe my face.

I go to where Brain is and grip his shoulder tightly.

"I'm so sorry brother, is there anything I can do?"

He looks up at me and shakes his head.

His eyes are red and his face is still white.

While looking at the photos he puked and I thought he would stop but he didn't.

Pickle is right about one thing she is a tuff little alley cat.

How am I going to look at that poor girl. Knowing what I know and not have a reaction, Flame was right.

He brother is alive and we don't even know if that would help her or break her.

Brain is convinced it's better to keep it quiet for awhile but I don't know if I agree that's the best thing for either one of them.