Chapter 27: Did I hurt you
Finn POV
What hell it's River..
Fuck, it's River, my brother is going to beat my ass
Oh god Chailor's going to kill me
She still looks half asleep and confused so I say softly "Hey doll it me, your okay I didn't mean to startle you"
She looks around quickly then she blushes as she realizes where she is
"Sorry Finn, I didn't mean to fall asleep in here" she says as she starts to get up
"I didn't do... we didn't do anything? I mean I didn't like.." she quickly cuts me off
"No, Finn relax"
"You were having a nightmare and I was trying to help you and we fell asleep that's all"
Panic instantly sets in because I've hurt people that have been trying to help me during a nightmare before
Oh my god did I hurt her
I quickly scan over her body as I rush closer to her
"Fuck, I didn't hurt you did I?"
"I'm so sorry River, I should be more careful" I say quickly as I'm still trying to look over her body and make sure she's okay
"Finn, take a breath I'm fine" she says reassuring me as she gently presses her hand to my arm
I sigh out a breath of relief
"Thank God!" I finally let out
Shit, this could have ended so badly
I'm so glad I didn't hurt her
"I'm so sorry you had to see me like that"
"That never should have happened" I say in a embarrassed low tone
She looks up at me with those beautiful green eyes of hers
Instantly my stomach is doing flip flops
I can get lost in those eyes forever
No! I need to quit thinking like that it wouldn't be fair to either of us
I got to hold her all night and I don't even remember it
I shake my head trying to clear my thoughts
"Just like you told me, don't apologize we all have our shit, I'm fine I promise"
I jump a little when she talks, I'm lost in my own thoughts
"I guess I should head back to my room it's still early I guess"
with that she lets out a cute little nervous giggle
She's smiling and I can't look away
"Wait I say" quickly
I watch as she turns back around
"Yes Finn"
I love how my name sounds on her lips
"Can you just stay in here with me and maybe just talk for a few minutes?"
Suddenly I feel nervous and start running my hands through my hair
I'm not ready for her to go just yet
"Yes" she says a little too quickly then she blushes
"Yes, I would like" she says a little calmer this time
She gives me a shy smile as she bites her lower lip
Damn this woman I think
She is going to kill me, with that look
I want to take her right here and now
I start to sit on my bed trying to hid myself as I'm getting hard now
I then notice as she sits on the bed that she shivering
"Your cold" I say as I quickly grab my shirt and the throw blanket off the back of the chair
I head back over to the bed and quickly pull my shirt down over her wrapping the blanket around her shoulders giving them a slight rub as I do
I take a seat on the bed again
She sits and scoots back a little bit so she can pull her legs up Indian style on my bed
I turn slightly and propped myself up against the headboard so I can turn and face her sitting in the same position
"Can I just ask that anything we talk about stays between us?" I ask
"I love my brother and Chailor there's just some things I don't want them to worry about" I give her a slight smile
"Yes of course" she answers
"I understand"
"Thank you, for helping me last night first off but while I am here if it happens again I need you to stay back and promise me that you'll be careful" I say, as I start to look down at my hands I start to feel afraid or ashamed maybe to meet her eyes
I take a deep breath as I continue
"I've hurt people before, I hurt somebody badly who was just trying to help me when I was having a nightmare"
"I understand exactly what you mean" she says
"I have also hurt somebody when I was having a flashback" she says sadly
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks softly
She looks really nervous and a little scared
I am too I guess
I've never talked to anyone outside of my team about this sort of thing
I'm not sure if it's because she's afraid of what I'll say or if she also wants to let me in a little about what she's gone through but I notice she's shaking a bit
I don't want to scare her off she seems like a person I would really like to keep in my life even if all I can offer her is a distant friendship right now
I take a few rugged breaths
"I would" I say "but maybe we should start with something a little less serious before things get too heavy just to make us both feel more comfortable"
She lets out a soft chuckle and a held breath as she says
"I would like that thank you"
"I wouldn't forgive myself if I hurt you"
I slowly look up to met her eyes
I guess I expected to see a look of discussed or fear in her eyes but I only see understanding as our eyes meet