Chapter 31 Hurtful Memories
There is something very familiar about the look in his eyes. I know I've seen it before. I've seen this man mad before. But where?
"I don't even know you, Rick!" I argue. "I know you know who I am, but I don't know you! How the hell can I be yours?"
"But you do! You always have! That's the thing... but it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not who I used to be, Josie. I've grown up and I deserve a chance to prove it to you!" He states, pulling me closer to him. I can feel the heat rolling off him in waves as his eyes glare down at me with... something painful in them.
I know I know him... I just don't know who the hell he is! He's basically told me a short version of my life story and he wouldn't know any of that if he didn't actually know me. I know I recognize him... and I've been racking my brain to remember... But I just can't!
"Then who exactly are you, Rick?" I beg, because I'm losing my mind not knowing who he was to me! If he wants me to even trust him, he needs to give me this truth!
The man before me looks pained for a moment before his beautiful features changed into a snarl that used to haunt my nightmares.
"Richard Kingston," he growls out. "That is who I am. But Josie, I swear I've changed! You gotta know... I didn't want to hurt you like I did!"
I blink my eyes, trying to get rid of the tears that suddenly appeared. Why the hell am I crying?
Once I was getting out of my dance class, he showed up with his friends and took my duffel bag and dumped all my things in the dirt.
"You aren't good enough to dance, filth. I don't know why your parents still let you on the stage!" he snarled.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I choked out.
"To put you in your place. My Dad's a rock star. I'm way better than a little dancer!" he said kicking dirt on my dance shoes.
Anther time his parents were over at my home. Dad was having a barbecue and all his friends where there.
I found Richard kissing one of my bullies from school in my room! He had his hands all over her. "I know you wish I would pay attention to you, little dancer. But you aren't worth it! Becca is so much better than you!"
There was another time we were at his house. Dean told me to get Richard for dinner. I went up to his room, his door wide open... he was having sex with one of the cheerleaders from school.
He looked at me while he was deep inside her and smirked. "This will never be you, little dancer!"
I blink away the awful memories, and look up at him. He had spent the whole time he knew me telling me I was nothing. That I was beneath him... and not like the cheerleaders he brought back to his bed.
Honestly I didn't want to be beneath him like that! It made me sick. I guess James is just like Richard is. Only, Richard wanted me to see him, and James was hiding it from me. I don't know which one was worse.
"Why are you here, Rick?" I whisper. "You always said I was nothing. That I wasn't good enough for you. You made me feel small. So, tell me. Why are you here?" I choke out.
"To make my penance. I need to show you that you belong to me Josie. I was stupid all those years ago. I was just a kid! Don't I deserve a chance to prove I've changed too?" he demands. "You really have no idea what was going on back there! It's not my fault! I could prove it to you!"
I think back to all those years ago when I first met him. The night he looked at me with those cold eyes. The smirk on his lips that told me he wanted to hurt me.
"You didn't think I was good enough to be your friend!" I whisper. "You told Liv she was going to be your little dancer. You said she was better than me! You never wanted me, Rick!" I blink back my tears I've been fighting all night.
"NO! It wasn't my fault! My Dad was trying to get a contract with your dad, and he told me you weren't good enough. I didn't know what to do! I thought you were beautiful!" Rick stares down at me. "The night I watched you dance on the stage, I couldn't take my eyes off of you! Dad didn't even tell me who you were, or who I was supposed to be watching. It was only you who had my attention the whole damn time! I was so excited to go meet you..."
"You hurt me! More than James ever did!" blurt out. "I watched you try to hurt me!" I say with tears dribbling down my chin. I sniff, and rub my nose with the sleeve of my sweater. "At least he didn't have sex in front of me to hurt me!"