Chapter 30 Mine
I've had a long day and the dark sky outside is not getting any warmer. The day had been long and hard. The work kept my mind from tearing myself apart. But now I'm literally exhausted.
I'm still not sure if I made the right choice with James. He said he was sorry. He said he'd get me a ring and we'd be married in the spring. That has to mean something, right?
I'm so damn conflicted now that I don't have the monotonous work in front of me to keep me focused. Now doubts are creeping in. How do I know he really changed? What if he's lying to me?
My stomach feels sick and my heart feels tired. As much as it hurt for him to cheat on me, something felt light when I decided to break it off with him... And now there is a heaviness in my chest where my heart should be.
"Have a good night dear. I'm worried about you going home by yourself," Hailey says giving me a quick hug. "And I'm not one to speak out of turn, but I'm worried James is taking advantage of you. He should be here to walk you home to make sure you are safe! But he just left you here. That doesn't sound like a good boyfriend if you ask me."
"I know, but I promised to give him another chance. I want him to prove me wrong. I want to see that he really means he will try better," I say softly. We really did have some good times together, and I'm sure we were in love. That should be worth holding onto. At least it was for me. What if he doesn't feel the same way?
"I know Jo. And for your sake, I hope you are right. I hope he shows you all the love you deserve! But sometimes no matter how much he loves you, he won't be able to keep his hands to himself," she warned.
"Thanks, Hailey. I'll keep that in mind," I say with a weak smile as I grab my purse, hoping tonight Beth leaves it alone.
I went to the bank earlier and put all my money into my checking account. I'm going to need it if I have to find an apartment soon. I can't stay with Beth any longer.
The thing is, I agree with her and I'm praying like hell that he can prove to me he won't hurt me again. What am I going to do if he breaks my heart again? I'm still fragile. I feel like a crystal glass whose cracks are being held together with duct tape, glue and a prayer.
I push out the shop door and right into the sharp wind. I wrap my arms around my body to keep me from shivering to death.
I wish I still had Rick's jacket... I gave it back to him when he walked me back to Wild Blooms after we filled out his order form.
"Josie!" came a deep familiar voice, hidden somewhere in the dark.
"Rick? What are you doing here?" I ask in shock. How long has he been there and why is he waiting for me? Is he stalking me? I swear he left hours ago!
"Please tell me you didn't give that prick another chance! He doesn't deserve one, little dancer. You are too good for him!" He says stepping out of the shadows, and putting his warm large hands on my shoulders.
His touch does something to me. A shudder runs through my body and it has nothing to do with the wind whipping around us. I'm not sure if I want to lean into his warmth or push him away. I'm seriously conflicted right now.
"Why?" I ask. I'm so confused. How did he even know James came to ask for another chance? And why would he even care if I gave it to him? I'm so confused right now.
"Because... Because you are mine, Josie! I would treat you better than that bastard ever has! Can't you see that?" He demands, raking his fingers through his shaggy hair, moving it away from his electric blue eyes.