Chapter Twenty

“Are you sure you want to go?” Tanya questions her daughter. “It’s only been a week since everything happened and you still have a pretty visible bruise.” She continues, trying her best to deter Ada from leaving the house, especially with Ewan.

“Mom, I know you’re upset because of everything that has happened to me this year, but what happened at Ewan’s parents’ house isn’t his fault,” Ada responds to her mother. “I wasn’t even supposed to know he was there. He tried to keep me out of it, but I found him. If I hadn’t shown up when I did, he may not have survived.”

Tanya looks at her skeptically.

“Besides, I’m not gonna hide from danger anymore. If I do, then I will never leave home.” Ada pauses, a little nervous. “I really want to go out with Ewan, Mom. I think he’s something special.”

Her mother’s eyes widen in surprise and a little horror.

“I’m gonna finish getting ready,” Ada responds, leaving the room quickly.

The night before, Ada and Kacey went dress shopping for the dance. Kacey, of course, went with some ridiculously huge puffy dress that was a bit over the top and had way too many colors. Ada went with something a little more slimming, which showed off her curves and was one solid color, midnight blue. She paired it with silver-colored high heel shoes that she knew she would regret wearing.

After slipping into her dress and new shoes, Ada’s mom walks in, a bit skittish.

“What’s up, Mom?”

“I was going to help you with your hair.” She pauses, walking closer to her daughter. “While we talk about a few things.”

“Okay,” Ada replies, staring at her mother in confusion.

Tanya starts brushing her daughter’s hair, hesitant to begin talking. “It still surprises me how much you’ve grown.” She begins, “When I look at you, I still see that little girl who wanted to be a ballerina when she grew up, not the 18-year-old woman that you are.”

“Mom…” Ada says becoming embarrassed.

“I just mean, I need to get used to you getting older—mostly the fact that you have a boyfriend.” She continues, curling her daughter’s hair with the curling iron. “I’m proud of the young woman you’ve become, even though I did miss out on a lot of it with work.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that. You had to do what you needed to so you could support us.”

“Yeah… But there is still so much I wish I could’ve been there for.”

“Well, you’re getting to help me get ready for my first school dance,” Ada replies reassuringly. “That’s something.”

“Yeah, it is,” Tanya says with a smile. “When you said that Ewan was something special, it dawned on me how much I’ve missed. I've never talked to you about relationships and boyfriends.”

“I don’t think we need to talk about all that, Mom.” Ada starts as she begins to blush.

Tanya looks at her daughter suspiciously. “You two haven’t….” She begins to question, with her eyebrows raised.

Ada just stares back at her mother in the mirror, not wanting to make eye contact.

Panic overcomes Tanya’s face. “Please tell me you’ve been using...stuff,” she finally responds, her eyes closed as she tries to calm herself.

“Yes, Mom,” Ada replies mortified.

“Okay.” Her mother replies, feeling as embarrassed as her daughter. “So, how does your hair look?”

“I like it,” Ada says with an approving smile. There is a knock at the front door. Ada can feel her heart starting to race. “That must be Ewan!” She squeaks with happiness mixed in with anxiety.

As Ada starts to get up, her mother pulls her arm, making her come in for a big hug. Ada can feel herself starting to spin off into another panic attack, but nuzzled into her mother’s arms, breathing in the scent that is only her mother's—the scent that comforted her when she was scared or upset when she was younger and made all her apprehensions melt away—sooths away the unwelcomed attack so she can think clearly enough to embrace her mother.

“I promise I will try harder to be more accepting of your boyfriend,” Tanya replies, pulling out of the hug and looking Ada in the eye. “He must not be too bad for you to have fallen for him.”

Ada smiles. “He’s really not that bad.”

At the dance, Ewan can’t keep his eyes off of Ada. If there were anyone else in the room, he wouldn't have noticed. His eye is still black and blue, and there are still cuts and bruises on his face and hands. But Ada doesn’t care. He is still the most handsome guy she has ever laid her eyes on.

They slow dance together, wrapped tightly in each other’s arms. “Have I apologized yet for everything that has happened?”

“Repeatedly,” Ada replies. “I swear, I walk in the room and you look like you just kicked a dog.”

Ewan smiles half-heartedly, caressing her cheek. “Do you think your mother will ever forgive me?”

“I think she is going to try harder.”

“Really? What makes you say that?”

“I just have a feeling.” Ada teases.

Ewan smiles back at her. “So, what about your list?”

Ada pauses for a moment. “Oh. I completely forgot about it, to be honest.”

He stares at her skeptically.

“It’s true!” She says giggling. “Honestly, I've been so worried about everything I haven’t experienced that I think it’s best to let it happen naturally.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Yes, you were right,” Ada replies, rolling her eyes. “But I definitely don't want to be held up at gunpoint or be held captive by anyone ever again.”

Ewan’s smile begins to fade, his eyes showing the guilt he feels.

“I’m not blaming you for any of it.” She reassures him, as her fingers start playing in his hair. “So, why did the ‘list’ bother you so much anyway?”

“It didn’t necessarily bother me.”

“Seriously? You practically started ghosting me after you found out about it.”

“I did not.”

“So you’re saying that after we went skinny dipping and Kacey mentioned it, you didn’t start making yourself busier to stay away from me?”

“Okay, I did, but that wasn’t the reason.”

“Then what was it?” Ada asks curiously.

“Because… before we kissed, I thought of you a lot. You were always on my mind.” He pauses for a moment, staring at Ada. “But then, when I kissed you, it was like nothing I’d ever felt before.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t think you’d appreciate me trying to come on to you after everything we went through that night with Jessie. But then you and Kacey were talking about you losing your virginity to Kevin and… yeah… that kind of bothered me.”

“Is that why you showed up at my house?”

“Yeah, because I didn’t want you treating it all like it was nothing and causing yourself heartache in the end. Your list had me constantly worried.” He stares at her, taking her in. “From the moment I saw you, I wanted you. There is no one else that can come close to you. Everything I’ve done before, it’s like I’m doing it for the first time when I’m with you, and it's infinitely better.”

She smiles at him before her eyes fall as a bit of sadness overcomes her.

“What’s wrong?” Ewan questions with concern.

“I just can’t believe that…that night in the gas station…if it didn’t happen, then we would’ve never met each other.” She states, looking up into his eyes. “I hated that whole experience, but at the same time, I’m so grateful because now I have you.”

Ewan smiles, kissing her.

“Yet I would do it all again only because of you.”

“Me too.”

They start kissing passionately.

Ewan brings her into a tight embrace while they continue to dance and whispers in her ear, “I love you.”

She smiles. “I love you too, Ewan.”