Chapter 61 Sixty one

Chapter 61 Sixty one

Nora.

His apologies meant nothing to me, for they were born of necessity, not sincerity. I suddenly feel stronger, not in the way Howard had anticipated, but in the realization of my own worth. I'd decided it was time to break free from the cage he'd confined me in for a year. Howard's pleas and desperation only fueled my determination to sever the ties that bound us. Though I still harbored deep feelings for him, my love was no longer a prison; it had become the key to my liberation.

As I watched Howard, his expectant eyes filled with hope, I simply nodded my head. He visibly relaxed, believing he'd won me over with his words. But in reality, my decision had already been made, and I had no intention of sharing it with anyone, not even Lizzie or Paara. They would surely attempt to dissuade me, but nothing could change my resolve.

When Howard's hand gently touched my elbow, it sent a shiver down my spine. He remained oblivious to the power he still held over me, but my unwavering determination was far more potent. This was a move I had to make for my own sake and, most importantly, for the well-being of my unborn child.

Howard's apology was a far cry from what I had hoped for when he initially walked into the bakery. I had yearned to hear declarations of love and commitment, but he merely expressed regret for the manner in which he had rejected me and the baby. It was clear he was not truly remorseful for his earlier statements; he just regretted how he had said them.

He withdrew his hand from my elbow, but the residue of his touch lingered, as if he had never let go. One final, soft look was all he offered before turning to leave. Howard's departure felt casual, as if it were nothing more than a brief interruption in his day. My heart ached as I watched him walk away, and a painful realization swept over me.

I should have been better prepared for this. I should have been ready for the possibility that he might walk away. I should have steeled myself for the impending heartbreak and the days of silent treatment. I should have been ready to see him go about his day while I remained heartbroken. I should have practiced forcing a smile when he inquired about my well-being. I should have readied myself to mend my shattered heart alone, without his support.

The knowledge that I hadn't prepared for the inevitable left me wondering: did I deserve this? The answer was a resounding no. And would I continue to tolerate such treatment? Absolutely not. I was determined to take control of my life, with or without Howard by my side.

"Are you okay?" Lizzie's voice cut through my swirling thoughts, and she placed her hand in mine. I looked at her, summoning a fake smile to my lips. "Of course. Let's head back to eating cake," I replied with enthusiasm, all the while concealing the sorrow that gnawed at me. I was well aware that Lizzie saw through my facade, but I didn't want to burden her with further worry. We returned to our seats, and I pretended to savor my 19th birthday celebration, despite feeling like I was falling apart inside.

I struggled to force myself to finish the cake slice on my plate, even though it was delicious. Howard's unexpected appearance had stolen my appetite. I eventually excused myself, heading to the bathroom before our planned shopping outing.

Once inside the bathroom, the relentless morning sickness struck. I rushed to the stall and retched until my stomach was empty. The taste of bile lingered in my mouth, and my body felt weak and drained. I sat on the bathroom floor, tears streaming down my face, overwhelmed by the unfairness of it all. I didn't deserve to go through this ordeal alone, while the father of my child wandered carefree.

In an attempt to bolster my own spirits, I offered myself a shaky pep talk. "Fucking Howard," I muttered in frustration. The bathroom door creaked open, and I hastily wiped my eyes and stood up, composing myself. The stall door swung open, revealing Lizzie's concerned face.

"Oh, honey," Lizzie whispered and pulled me into a comforting hug. "I knew you weren't okay," she said softly, her hand gently rubbing my back. Fresh tears welled up in my eyes, and I found solace in her embrace, crying into her shoulder. We remained locked in that supportive embrace until I had shed enough tears, staining her shirt with my sorrow.

"Your shirt is a mess," I mumbled, wiping away the last of my tears and pointing at the wet spots on her shirt. She glanced down at her tear-streaked top and shrugged.

"Come on, we're going shopping, and we're going to completely ignore that jerk," Lizzie declared, her tone filled with determination. She guided me to the sink, helping me wash my face. I wished Howard were here to do it, but I forced myself to forget about him, reminding myself that I could handle this situation without him. I had to believe that I was strong enough to face this challenge, even without his support.

We stepped out of the bathroom, and the warm, enticing aroma of cake and brownies enveloped my senses. It was a delightful smell, but at that moment, it felt like an assault on my stomach. I fought the urge to retch once more, swallowing back the nausea, knowing there was nothing left in my gut to expel.

Lizzie held my hand gently as we exited the bakery. As we strolled outside, I encountered Selene, who appeared to be lurking around. I shot her a quizzical look, surprised that she didn't expect me to notice her. She nervously fidgeted with her fingers as she approached.

"Good afternoon, my Luna. How are you feeling?" Selene inquired, though it sounded more like an attempt to change the subject rather than a genuine question.

"I'm fine. What are you doing around here? Shouldn't you be at home?" I asked, curious about her unexpected presence. While Selene had the freedom to move about, her actions made me wonder if she had ulterior motives for being at the bakery.

Selene shook her head and smiled at me. "My Luna," she began, clearing her throat. "I can't let you wander too far without being close by. It's my duty to stay by your side at all times in case you need anything. And now, you need me the most," she explained before bowing. 

Lizzie wasn't pleased with Selene's response. "Are we invisible? or do we look irresponsible?" she retorted, shooting a disdainful look at both Paara and me. It was clear that Selene's words had offended her.

"No... I'm sorry... I didn't mean it that way..." Selene stammered.

I interjected to alleviate the tension. "Selene, go home. I'll be fine. I'll be back shortly. I have my friends with me, and they're taking care of me," I assured her with a comforting smile. Initially hesitant, Selene yielded and departed, her departure hastened by the stern glare Lizzie cast in her direction.

"Come on, I need to find a dress for tomorrow," I urged my friends as we headed toward the bustling shopping mall in the town, ready to focus on preparing for the upcoming event.

Stepping into the shopping mall, it was impossible not to notice the curious glances, a thousand pairs of eyes seemingly focused on us. Me, in particular. I couldn't shake the feeling that my baby bump had grown overnight or I was paranoid, and everyone knew the secrets I'd concealed. It was as though they could sense the rumors that had been circulating, whispers of the Luna finally getting pregnant after nearly a year of marriage. If only they knew the complex truth about the relationship between Howard and me, they'd condemn him and feel pity for his entanglement with me.

Lizzie, noticed my discomfort and broke the uneasy silence. "You have anything on your mind?" she asked, concern in her voice as we strolled towards the dress aisle. I could only muster a shrug, my indifference reflecting the fact that I didn't really care about the dress I was selecting. After all, I wouldn't be wearing it. It was just another layer of deception to ensure I wasn't under suspicion while I worked to fulfill the promise I'd made to myself.

As we browsed the dresses, a middle-aged lady approached us with a warm smile. "My Luna," she greeted respectfully, her eyes filled with reverence. I replied with a forced smile and a nod. I wished it could have been a genuine expression, but at least I managed to fabricate one.

"How may I help you today?" she inquired, the unchanging smile still gracing her face. It made me wonder if she meant it sincerely or if, like me, she was merely putting on a façade.

Lizzie, always quick to act, stepped in. "Ah, yes. Your Luna needs a new dress for tomorrow's occasion," she said, wrapping her arms around mine in a protective gesture.

"Oh, great! The wedding anniversary party," the lady cheered with enthusiasm, unaware that her words grated on my nerves. While everyone saw it as a celebration, to me, it was nothing more than a cleverly disguised trap, further ensnaring me in my pool of misery.

Stepping into the dresses section, the dazzling array of gowns left me momentarily stunned. They were all so exquisitely beautiful, too beautiful to be destined for an event I couldn't quite find myself getting into the spirit of. It was surreal to think that I'd be leaving with one of these stunning creations, even if I had no intention of wearing it to the gathering. But I did have plans for it; I would try it on, let it envelop me, and in my private moment, imagine Howard's hands caressing the fabric, his quiet admiration even if he never expressed it verbally. I could always feel it, even when he didn't shower me with compliments.

Paara extended a red dress toward me, showcasing a sweetheart neckline adorned with delicate silver embellishments. I shook my head, my gaze scanning the surroundings. "I don't need anything too dramatic," I said, while Lizzie let out a scoff, on the verge of offering an opposing viewpoint.

"You need to be dramatic," she countered with conviction, reminding me of her impending statement. "You're the Luna, and the spotlight will be on you tomorrow. You can't afford to look basic and simple. You need to be seen and noticed, especially by a certain someone."

I couldn't help but smile and chuckle softly, understanding precisely whom she was referring to. "Yeah, right," I replied simply.

Just as I was about to browse further, Lizzie's eyes landed on a stunning dress – a sexy mermaid gown lavishly adorned with a cascade of tiny silver and white jewels running down the sleeves and back. "This will look fantastic on you, my Luna," the helpful lady chimed in, reinforcing the idea.

"Oh, you have to try it on," Paara urged with excitement, mirroring my own sentiment. I nodded, taking the dress from Lizzie's hands and following the lady to the changing room.

As I slipped into the gown, I couldn't help but be awestruck by the beautiful blue fabric that enveloped me. It was a breathtaking masterpiece, and the irony of wearing it for such an unexciting occasion wasn't lost on me.

With the saleswoman's expert assistance, the dress fit me like a dream. She made some necessary adjustments, ensuring every seam hugged my form perfectly. As I gazed at my reflection in the mirror, memories of the morning I married Howard came rushing back. Emotions swirled within me then, a turbulent mixture of sadness and happiness. I was sad because I fully comprehended the intricacies of the situation I was entering into. I was happy because, in that moment, I embraced it willingly. The emotions were tangled, but I had brought myself to this point. I hadn't expected life to unfold this way, but it had, and I had to deal with it.

"You look so beautiful, my Luna," the saleswoman commented, her words breaking through my reverie. I smiled, appreciating the enchanting image I saw in the mirror. I wished, just for a fleeting moment, that Howard would witness me in this dress, sweep me off my feet, and make everything right. But I quickly dismissed the thought. I needed to stay strong and remain on the path I had chosen. If he didn't want me and our baby, then we didn't need him either.

The saleswoman asked, "Should I let them in?" I nodded, the fatigue of the day weighing on me. I was ready to get things over with. The door opened, and I heard Lizzie's voice before she gasped in delight. They gathered around me, admiring the dress and boosting my self-esteem.

"I swear this dress would make him regret ever doubting you," Paara declared, and I chuckled, shaking my head. If only they knew the thoughts racing through my mind and the plan I had for tomorrow.

"I'm pretty beat. Can we go home now?" I asked, stifling a yawn. The day was progressing into the afternoon, and I longed for some rest. Lizzie and Paara assisted me out of the dress, leaving it for further adjustments.

My energy spent, I called in my personal guards who swiftly arranged for a car to pick us up. Walking back home was out of the question; my tired body needed some respite. The drive home was mercifully short, barely lasting ten minutes. Lizzie, ever the spirited one, went in ahead of me, and her gasp followed by an exuberant squeal piqued my curiosity.

I followed her inside, my heart racing as I scanned the entrance. "Gifts... for me?" I stammered, bewildered by the sight before me. The entrance was adorned with an array of presents – flowers, chocolates, balloons, and cakes. I couldn't keep up with it all. Excitement and confusion swirled within me. If Howard had any involvement in these gifts, my resolve might waver.

My gaze fell on the first gift card, bearing the name "Marie." She had sent a cake and a balloon, wishing me a happy 19th birthday. "Check this out," Paara urged, handing me a bouquet of fresh red roses with a card nestled among them. I read the message written in elegant script. "Happy birthday to the girl who has a special place in my heart, even though our paths may not align. Your presence in my life is a gift I’ll cherish forever, and I wish you all the happiness in the world on this special day. Love, Miles."

I couldn't help but stare at the card, rereading the heartfelt words in my mind. Miles. The name resonated within me, evoking a cascade of emotions. Miles wasn't even physically present, yet he remembered my birthday and sent these gifts, despite the turbulence in my life. A lump formed in my throat, and I fought back tears.

"He sent you gifts?" Howard's deep, husky voice shattered the moment of reflection. I gasped, my gaze darting to him as he stood there, his expression stormy. His eyes flitted between me, the card, and the bouquet I held. "Miles sent you gifts?" he repeated, his tone tinged with anger.

Howard's sudden reaction left me bewildered. He had made it clear he didn't want me, so why was he now upset? Why this sudden rage when he hadn't even bothered to wish me a simple happy birthday? The questions swirled within my mind, and I couldn't help but wonder why Howard was acting so selfish and arrogant.