Chapter 62 Sixty two

Chapter 62 Sixty two

Howard. 

I shouldn't have been this angry. In fact, I had no right to be angry at all. My frustration should've been directed at myself, not her or anyone else. Miles, on the other hand, deserved my anger. I felt like a fool watching Nora with the gifts he had given her, while I couldn't even muster the courage to wish her a simple 'happy birthday.' 

I felt stupid, and that self-inflicted embarrassment ate away at me. I regretted not heeding Alex's advice and getting her a gift. A new dress, jewelry, or even a simple bouquet of roses would have sufficed. Nora had an affinity for beautiful things, but the only thing she seemed to love that was remotely bad was me.

Her smile as she read his note replayed in my mind, a scene that haunted me throughout the night. Was she starting to fall for him? The question gnawed at me, keeping sleep at bay. I knew I didn't deserve a good night's rest, not after putting my selfish desires ahead of hers. I'd always prided myself on putting others first, but when it came to Nora, I was an exception.

I didn't want to hurt her any longer. That's why we were better off apart—because I was toxic to her, I wasn't good for her, and I never would be. I believed that if she remained in my life, I would continue to exploit her for my own selfish gains. I wanted to break free from the clutches of her memory, but it proved to be a formidable task.

"Fucking hell," I muttered as I rolled out of bed. Glancing at my phone, I saw it was nearly six in the morning. So, I had spent the entire night awake? It served me right for being an insufferable jerk. It was early, but the urge for some liquid peace was too strong to resist. I was clad in nothing but boxer shorts, and I didn't care to dress because I knew the household staff wouldn't be active until past six. Being seen this way was no concern; I was in the comfort of my own home, and I simply didn't care.

Stepping out of my room, I found myself instinctively reaching for my phone to check for updates. It was a series of messages from Alex, all regarding the event scheduled for tonight – Nora and my wedding anniversary party. If it were solely up to me, I would have let this day pass unnoticed, uncelebrated. The state of our marriage was in tatters because I had actively played a role in tearing it apart. I made the choice to distance myself from her, to refuse to acknowledge her as my wife, a title I had never truly embraced. Even after the marriage, I had clung to the belief that I was not married and that I had no wife. There were days when her actions drove me to the brink of madness, yet I continued to push away the idea of her being my wife, seeing her only as the female figure my pack needed as their Luna. Now, it appeared they were left without one, and it was entirely my fault that things had come to this. 

Nora, now pregnant, our marriage shattered, and the pack in disarray, all because of my choices. It was surreal how the power to rectify all of this lay squarely within my grasp – if only I were willing to mend things with Nora. It was maddening how she was both the root of my problems and the sole source of the solutions I so desperately needed.

Sighing, I pushed open the kitchen door, the lights already aglow. Unbeknownst to me, the sound of the fridge closing had halted me in my tracks. Nora's gaze met mine, her expression a mixture of curiosity and disbelief at seeing me in the kitchen at this early hour.

She remained rooted to her spot, studying me from head to toe before shifting her attention back to whatever task she had been involved in prior to my intrusion. She opened the fridge once more and retrieved a gallon of orange juice, the moment seemingly unaffected by my presence.

She set the orange juice on the kitchen counter, next to a sandwich, and settled onto a barstool. Taking a bite, she carried on, utterly ignoring my existence. The fact that she seemed unconcerned to my presence stung. Her aloofness cut deep, her gaze not softened by the gentleness I had once been accustomed to. It was painful to have her attention now elude me, even though I had brought this upon myself. This was what I had asked for, and now I had to endure the consequences.

Nora was now halfway through her sandwich, the gallon of orange juice sitting untouched without a cup. Trying to make amends, or perhaps simply do something kind for once, I opened a cupboard, retrieved two glasses, and poured one for her and one for myself. I hadn't come downstairs for orange juice – I needed something stronger – but I decided to opt for the juice.

I settled onto the barstool beside her, and her gaze met mine once again. I wasn't entirely sure why, but the look on her face, a mix of irritation and frustration, made me smirk. She glared at me in response, muttering under her breath as she continued eating.

"There's nothing in this damn world worth smiling for," she mumbled before taking a big gulp of her juice. Her glass clinked against the counter as she set it down and slid off the stool. I watched her walk away, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

The pain in my chest grew, an ache of frustration and longing. I wanted to talk to her, even though I had no idea what words would pass between us. I simply craved her presence, her understanding. I wished to sit in silence with her, to find solace in the unspoken. Yet, I also knew I needed to avoid Nora, for her sake. Seeing me only deepened her heartbreak, but I found it impossible to stay away.

She didn't know, but I was always there, watching her. There were nights when I couldn't control the urge. I would sneak into her room, unseen, just to watch her sleep. Some nights, she bore tear-stained cheeks, her heartache evident even in slumber. There were other nights when anger contorted her features while she slept. Yet, I longed for those rare moments when she would sleep with a smile, knowing that it was me who had broken her, but I had no intention of fixing it.



"She doesn't even want to look me in the eye. She hates me," I lamented, the pain gnawing at my chest as I adjusted my tie, my gaze fixed upon the reflection in the mirror. "She doesn't even want to talk to me either," I added, my words hanging in the air, unacknowledged by Alex, who stood beside me, glaring at my side profile.

Alex scoffed, and the disapproval in his expression was palpable. "I know I should've listened," I confessed, speaking to the reflection of Alex's eyes, but not daring to meet his gaze directly.

"Oh, so now that she's giving you a taste of your own medicine, that's when you're thinking of acting right?" Alex responded, his irritation clear in his voice. "Let's hope you're not too late," he added before I could respond.

I sighed, nodding my agreement. The way Nora had looked at me this morning, how she had ignored my presence and carried on as if I didn't exist, it pained me deeply. I now understood the hurt she felt when I had ignored her in the past, pretended not to see her, and consistently put myself before her. "She fucking hates me," I muttered, striding away from the mirror.

Seeing her smile in response to Miles's gifts had triggered emotions within me that I didn't even know I possessed. It was also the way she was handling our situation now that weighed heavily on me. Whether it was her attitude or the feelings that seeing her with Miles had stirred, I couldn't be sure, but I was undeniably worried. I longed for Nora's attention as before, yet it appeared that I had used up my chances.

Alex cornered me with his questions, seeking clarity. "So, let me get this straight, Alpha Howard. You've known Nora for a little over a year now. She's been a burden to you, right? And you wish to have her out of your life, isn't that right, Alpha Howard?"

I hesitated, torn between the conflicting emotions and thoughts that surged within me. I didn't want to provide a definitive answer because I couldn't be sure of it myself. If it had been before, I would have readily affirmed, but now, I was caught in a whirlwind of uncertainty.

"Isn't that right?" Alex pressed, his brows furrowing. "Because I'm tired of your mixed signals and the confusion you keep causing this girl. If you want her, act like it. If you don't, then shut up and let her be."

With that, Alex stormed out of my room, leaving me in a state of turmoil. I sighed deeply, running my fingers through my hair. My thoughts were in disarray, and my vision was clouded because there was only one person occupying my mind – Nora. She haunted me, day and night. 

I couldn't discern whether it was Karma or the looming possibility of parting ways with her. Alex's words were a stark reminder; if I truly wanted her, I had to act like it. If not, I needed to accept the consequences of my own choices and keep silent.

I surveyed my room, almost as if it were my final farewell to it. Stepping out, the thought of going to Nora's room crossed my mind, an urge I wanted to resist. The one thing I could grant Nora now was distance, as I had already put her through too much. She was only attending our anniversary party to help me retain my Alpha status, despite knowing I was being selfish. She wanted to assist me even though I had severed our relationship. It was an emotional weight I bore, knowing she was a better person than I could ever hope to be. 

With little contemplation, I entered her chambers. Her living room was empty as usual, and I proceeded to her bedroom. Just before opening the door, I heard the sounds of giggles and laughter, indicating she was not alone. I hesitated because I recognized these friends as the ones who weren't particularly fond of me. 

Nora, being open and honest with her friends, had probably shared the ordeal we'd been through, and they harbored a strong dislike for me due to the pain I'd caused their friend. 

However, I wanted to catch a glimpse of Nora, even if only briefly, before our reunion at the event. My thoughts had been preoccupied with how she would look in her dress, though I remained entirely unaware of what type of dress she'd chosen. Regardless, I knew she would look breathtaking, as she always did. 

Upon entering her room, I found only two of her friends, and disappointment washed over me at the absence of Nora. Looking around, I inquired, "Where is she?" 

"Where's who?" one of her friends replied coldly, giving me an icy glare.

"Lizzie," the other friend muttered, smacking her arm in an attempt to correct her rudeness. 

Lizzie continued to glower at her companion before turning her disapproving gaze back to me. "If you mean the girl you've neglected, she's not here," she said, and her words struck me like a dagger to the chest. The painful truth settled within me, and I swallowed the bitter reality of my actions.

I turned away and left, discontented by what her friend had said. She was right; I had neglected Nora while I clung to the past, a past my father had ruined but had now moved beyond, leaving me trapped within it.

I had dragged Nora down with me, despite my countless warnings to the contrary. I tried to push away these thoughts as I exited the house. Cars awaited me, ready to transport me to the event. I climbed into one, and we headed to our destination. 

Upon our arrival, the venue was already bustling with guests. As I emerged from the car, the eyes of the crowd were fixed upon me, waiting for Nora to follow. However, she did not, as we had not arrived together.

"Howard, where's Nora? Aren't you supposed to arrive together?" Marie, approached me with concern evident in her voice.

I waved her question away with a casual shrug. "She'll be here soon with her friends," I assured her.

"They called me earlier; they haven’t seen her for over an hour," Marie informed me with a hint of worry. "She told them she needed to pick something up from a store but hasn't returned yet. You should go look for her."

I feigned coldness. "Nora's not a child. Wherever she went, she can't be that far. She might be delayed," I responded, attempting to conceal the growing unease within me.

"I don't know, I just..."

My father's voice interrupted Marie, inquiring about Nora's absence. I sighed and repeated my previous assertion. "She'll be here soon with her friends, I'm sure of it," I reassured him, looking toward Marie. 

I preferred not to involve my father, as I believed this matter wasn't a significant concern. Her friends shouldn't have already begun gossiping when they had appeared relaxed, laughing, and lounging in her room.

However, my respite was brief, as Alex rushed in, panting. His words sent my heart plummeting to my stomach. "Howard… you have to come to the gates…It's Nora," he began, and my worry resurfaced with unrelenting force.