Chapter 51

Ruby I laid on my bed looking at the ceiling. I got what I wanted and I knew I made the right choice. I needed some space, time away from him. I wanted to be left alone. But why didn't I feel any better? I felt empty and confused. I felt isolated. I knew it was because I didn't have my sisters around. I had no one.

I had nothing to do. Nowhere to go. No one to talk to. It was depressing to say the least. Is this what my life would be like? Is this how things would always be?

I sighed and decided I had to pull myself together. I could do this. I could find a way to be happy. I wouldn't let my mate turn me into someone I wasn't. If he couldn't learn to treat me as a mate should I wouldn't give him a moments peace. I would continue to defy him until he either got the point or willingly let me go, whichever came first. With a new determination I fell asleep knowing that tomorrow would be better.

Phoenix Why the hell was my mate so frustrating? Out of all the women in the world the fates could have chosen they picked her. A defiant, ungrateful woman whose sole purpose in life was to drive me insane.

Why couldn't she understand that all I want is to give her everything, share my life with her. She could have it all, we could have it all. But she doesn't want it. She's willing to throw it all away because of her compassion for others. Didn't she know that caring was a weakness? That it leaves you vulnerable? I learnt that lesson even as a child.

My father was a great alpha, a remarkable man, I idealized him. He taught me that there was strength in numbers. Pack members were family. They loved and admired him. He was invincible on the training field. He had a way of bringing out the best in each member. I followed him around and hoped I would be like him. I wanted to make him proud and he constantly said I did.

I was a curious kid which is why biology excited me. I liked the idea of discovering the unknown. Each of my parents encouraged it. My mom bought me all kinds of books and took me to all kinds of aquariums and museums to feed my interests. My dad was there as much as he could be. He smiled when my face would light up once I learned something new. Everything was perfect until I turned seventeen and she died. We were betrayed and it cost us her life. My father didn't take it well and he became someone I didn't recognize. He became obsessed with the idea of power. He craved it and soon it became his reason for living. I watched him conquer and wipe out pack after pack without a care. The members began to fear him rather than admire him.

He was harder on me than anyone. He said I had to be strong if I wanted to earn his respect. I was to become the most powerful alpha to ever live if I was to be called his son. Nothing I did was ever good enough. When it came time for him to step down he refused saying that I wasn't ready. That I would disgrace him. It took two years for me to convince him. I remember it like it was yesterday. An alpha came into our territory. He threatened the pack and killed a child in the process, just as a warning. I blacked out and killed him not thinking about the consequences of my actions. Only later did I realize that his pack was left without a leader. I had taken it. The members joined our pack and it was the first time my father smiled at me since my mother died. I had his approval after all that time. It meant the world to me. He started acting more like the father he used to be. It was like all the torment had never happened. He willingly stepped down handing me the pack and made sure that I ran it the way he would have. I started to crave the power. Becoming more like him with each passing day. As I grew more powerful he got weaker, sicker. I knew it wouldn't be long before he joined my mother. He had lived too long without her. He couldn't bare it anymore. Each time I would conquer a pack or gain new territory he would smile and say how proud he was of me. Soon it became second nature. I began doing research on silver and its effects on werewolves. When I told him I thought I could discover a way to make us immune he gave me the idea to build a lab. He even helped me telling me that if I was successful we would be invincible. We spent all our spare time in the lab experimenting until his body began to shut down. After he died I knew I had to fulfill his wish of becoming the most powerful. It was in my blood. It was who I was. Who I was destined to become. It was all I knew. I had to finish what we started. I was too close to give up now. I just hoped my mate would come around.