51. Family

51. Family
Luis' POV

“I will not watch you talking such nonsense under my roof!” he said angrily, flaring to match my own anger.

“If you consider grieving for your wife and child ‘nonsense’, then maybe we shouldn’t be living under the same roof.” I said without a second thought and noticed how his eyes widened.

Sure enough, he had never seen me flare up in such rage.

In fact, the only time we ever came close to arguing was many years ago, I couldn’t even remember what it was about. And that’s because I had cowered in fear and given in early.

But not this time. Not when I could feel the sickness coming. The excruciating pain that I was anticipating was not a grief I wanted to experience alone. Yet here he was talking about forgetting the dead after bringing in his new wife of barely four months.

“Wait, why don’t we all calm down and have dinner. Luis, please,” Clarissa’s mom pleaded with her eyes while she held onto my dad in a soothing manner,

Brushing the back of his hand.

And my mind flashed to Garber. I knew for a fact that if he was here, right by my side, he would make my dad understand my pain. Garber might put off a tough front, but something about the time we spent together made me feel like he understood me more than everyone else.
At least that was until the cafeteria.

I closed my eyes to shut the memory until my dad spoke up again.

“Go to your room before I do something I’ll regret.”
I wanted to look him dead in the eye at that moment and ask him if I wasn’t his greatest regret given the lengths he would go to avoid me.

But I refrained when I looked at Clarissa’s wide wet eyes.

Her mom also kept pleading and the adrenaline seemed to wash off my body as I remembered how good things have been going in the past month.

These two have helped me so much and yet here I was trying to ruin it all because of my feelings.

I took in a deep breath, deciding to calm down.

They were trying their best to be my family. It was time for me to do my best at least.

So I glared at Clarissa and spat the words that turned my stomach bitter in the first place.

“The salad you made is full of salt. Are you trying to marinate me?” I glared at her and ran up the stairs.

But before doing that, I noticed the small smile blooming at the corners of her lips. I didn’t know how much of an impact it would have on me until after I’d splashed my face with water and was thinking back.

The cause of my anger was valid and flaring up was also a good thing for me because I’d been keeping it bottled up for way too long. But the only part where I did wrong was unintentionally dragging Clarissa and her mom into it.

They’ve been nothing but sweet to me all this while.

I let out an exhale and rested my head on the foot of my bed.

I’d told my dad I would leave the house if it couldn’t accommodate us and somehow that gave me peace.

So in the future if he never accepts me after finding out who I truly am, I wouldn’t be too guilty when I decide to move out.

My stomach grumbled again, but I ignored it.

There’s no way I’m facing that man again this evening.

I’ll have to hold back and endure my hunger for the time being.

Another sound rumbled through and I just turned around.

Not until I felt a tap on my shoulder and jolted in surprise did I realize that the rumble was Clarissa opening the door.

“Leave. I need some time to myself.” I said as I turned around again.

“You’ve been in your room for like 2 hours now. That’s enough time, and I wouldn’t leave here until you give me your attention,” she said as a soft thud landed behind me.

Keep dreaming, I wanted to say when I turned back briefly again to see a huge book.

Or wait, my eyebrows furrowed in a frown, “Wasn’t that the family album book?”

“Why do you have that?” This time I turned my attention fully to her.

“Oh this? I found it while snooping around. Mom is too busy comforting Dad and I’m bored all by myself.” I envied the way she was so comfortable calling my own dad hers, without feeling awkward, but there was already enough things to be jealous of one person about.

“Return it. You don’t have any rights to touch my family album,” I spat and leaned forward to snatch it, but she pulled it away before I could reach it.

“I’m a part of this family too so I deserve to know more about this. And every other frontier whether they are still here with us or not,” she insisted and I glared at her.

“Stop trying to drill your petty anger in my body. I am bored. Let’s look at the pictures together,” she stuck her tongue out mockingly and waved the book in front of my face.

What right did she have to call my anger petty?

It’s valid and—

“Oh who is this? A picture fell out,” she picked it from the ground and curiously stared at it before flicking it in my face.

My heart suddenly felt heavy as I looked into the smiling face of my younger sister.

It was one of the pictures we took in her last month with us.

On the day I took this picture, I would never have expected that she would be gone before the end of the month.

My throat constricted and I fought heavily to blink back my tears.

Oh I missed her. She was autistic and very introverted, but every time she opened up and let me in her space, we always had fun. I could almost hear her giggles.

Almost, because regardless of the number of times I’d forced myself to remember it, her voice was fading from my memory.

“From your reaction, I can tell this was your sister,” Clarissa spoke, breaking my thoughts into fractions, and I nodded as I took the picture from her hands and held it tighter to my chest.

“She looked so pretty, I’m actually jealous,” she said and I frowned a bit, because Clarissa believed herself to be the most beautiful in the world.

But then I guess my sister was no longer a part of this world.

“Tell me about her. I want to know about my step-sister,” she said and snuggled close to me. I fretted like a startled chick, but relaxed again the moment I opened my mouth to speak.

“Her name was Katarina, but we all called her Rina,” I said as we both flipped through the photo album, recounting the moments in which the pictures were taken.

I’d never had the chance to do this, and relive this moment since they left, so we both didn’t realize how many hours had gone until Clarissa’s mom knocked on the door for the third time to remind her that it’s another hour past her bedtime.

“Wow, it’s midnight already?” Clarissa yawned as she curled into a ball, holding onto Rina’s first picture.

“Won’t you go to your room?” her mom looked at me with eyes filled with gratitude even when I was the one who was supposed to say thank you.

“Luis needs comfort. Let me be there for him this night,” she yawned again as she took my duvet over her head.

I stared wide-eyed at her mother.

“What the hell?”

Her mom smiled helplessly, like she had given up already, while I yanked the duvet off her—or at least I tried, because the grip of this sister of mine was quite strong.

Stronger than mine, I had to admit.

“You lazy thing. Just admit that you’re so lazy and too tired to go down to your room,” I said.

“Okay fine. Fine, I admit. Just let me sleep,” she said and turned again as if to find a comfortable spot. I looked at her in disgust.

That night, I slept on the couch in the living room.