I was ready to give up everything. He knew I was ready to give up at those times and let Noah do what he did to me, but when my daughter’s face suddenly registered in my mind, I seemed to suddenly wake up.
Asteria’s laugh keep on repeating inside my head which gave me strength.
When I felt Noah's kiss about to fall on my chest, I kicked his private part with all my might to keep him away from me.
"M-motherfucker!" He shouted sharply as he bowed.
When I saw what had happened to him, I quickly got up from where I was and ran out of the area.
"Astraea!" Noah's scream was horrible so I accelerated my pace even more.
I was exposed to the vast barn of Tierra Fima. I know this place! It was close to the creek where I had seen him before so I knew the way back. I can't be wrong.
I chased my breath as I could feel the cold in my body because of my torn clothes. I had nothing else on my mind but to just get stuck in that place and get back to the townhouse. It didn't even cross my mind to look for Levi because Noah might catch me.
When I saw the townhouse, I breathed a sigh of relief. I looked behind me for a moment and when I saw that Noah was still chasing me, I quickly entered the house.
Deafening silence greeted me. I ran straight to the 2nd floor of the house where our bedroom was and quickly locked it. Once I was locked in that room, I sat on the floor in exhaustion and cried quietly.
I crawled to the bathroom while holding my mouth so that my loud moan would not escape from there. I could feel how my heart slowly tore when I remembered what Noah had done to me. I almost stared at myself so I quickly opened the shower and let it take shelter in the water that was being released.
I cried so hard to the point that I couldn’t breathe anymore. In great pain, I beat my chest over and over and kept screaming.
I almost got raped by the one whom I trusted! No one saw what happened. That even a few times I cried out for help no one heard, no one can fucking hear me because no one has ever seen my suffering! That even Levi doesn’t! That even a few times I shouted his name, he didn’t even come!
Noah’s kisses and caresses on me earlier kept coming back and forth in my head. I almost removed my skin just to say that it was no longer in my body especially his kiss on my lips. How many times have I tried to hurt myself, scratch my whole body just to remove his trace of me, but it was still there. I feel like it’s still there! Why is this happening to me?!
I bit my lower lip and firmly closed my eyes. The cold from the running water filled the warm feeling inside my heart. That silent crying of mine seemed like a knife repeatedly stabbing into my heart every time I tried to pull it out.
I will take what happened tonight as my worst nightmare— it was so bad that I knew I would make it an excuse to end my life.
After an hour of crying inside the bathroom, I immediately took a shower and pretend as if nothing happened. Fearing that no one would believe me, I just let it go, especially since no one had seen it and I knew that Noah had a strong attachment to the people here.
After I took a bath, I fainted and rested for a while before I picked up Ria from Avery's house. Levi is still not coming which is my least concern now because I prefer to be with my daughter right now.
“Rae! What happened? Ria has been waiting for you earlier. Why are you alone now?” Avery greeted me when I entered their house.
I averted my eyes from her for fear that she might notice the excessive puffiness in my eyes.
“S-something just happened. Where is she?" I averted my eyes from her and didn't look at her again.
“She’s asleep. Do you know what happened to Levi?” She asked me so I stopped walking.
I looked at her. "What happened?"
Its forehead furrowed. “Haven’t you been told? He called me earlier and asked if you were here. He is in the hospital now with Dad Henry. Mother Mel had a heart attack,” she explained.
My mind immediately registered what had happened earlier and the bad thoughts I had about him. In an instant, the anger I felt for him suddenly disappeared and was replaced by conscience.
I averted my eyes from Avery and sat down.
"That's why he didn't take me back to the barn before," I said lazily into the air.
I felt the tightness of my chest again as she sat next to me.
"Are you alright? Why are your eyes like that? Did something happen?" She kept asking me.
I smiled bitterly to myself. If only I could tell you, Ave. I hope so because it's too heavy.
“I had a dream about my mom and my younger brother. I slept earlier that's why I couldn't come here right away. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Ave,” I blurted out at her and rolled my eyes.
When I looked at her, she was full of concern. Later, my mouth fell open when she suddenly hugged me tightly. I could even feel her slowly tapping on my back.
I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying.
“I know how hard it is, Rae. You can cry anytime here with me. Everything will be okay,” she told me softly and hugged me even tighter.
I nodded repeatedly and forcefully wiped away the few tears that had slipped from my eyes. Yeah, after what happened, I really hope so. That's my biggest wish for now.