Sometime later, I pulled her away from me and gave her a big smile.
“Thank you, Avery. I’ll just wait for Ria to wake up,” I told her.
She just simply nodded at me.
I waited there a few more hours until Levi arrived. There was a trace of concern and conscience on his face when he saw me so all the emotions I had hidden just now flooded again.
“Oh, God, Lumiere. I’m so sorry,” he pleaded and immediately hugged me.
His hug was so tight that I felt like I was slowly being crushed, but I immediately felt the calm of my heart that had been lost and worried.
“I’m so sorry. I couldn't come back to you because what happened to Mother Mel was too sudden. I’m so sorry, my love. I'm sorry,” he repeated while still hugging me tightly.
He separated me from him for a moment when he did not hear my answer. I wanted to answer him that it’s okay, I’m fine. No need to say sorry cause I understand, but my mouth couldn’t even open itself for fear that I might keep crying.
"You cried," he stated while looking at my whole face.
Terror overtook his face. I saw how his forehead furrowed.
Seeing him like this makes me want to say a word, tell him how much I love him, tell him how much I needed him earlier but I couldn’t even speak. The heavy thoughts inside my head keep on giving me a reason to tell him everything that has happened to me. My burning heart is crying while screaming silently as I stared at his whole features. As I stared at his gorgeous and calm eyes, I can feel how my heart is turning into pieces. It was full of pleading and concern, questions, and words he wanted to say to me but couldn’t.
This is my Levi Emmanuel Acuzar. The man who trapped me on his spell. His eyes can give me assurance that as long as I’m with him, I am safe — which is true — because every time he left me, my whole world turns into chaos and makes me want to just die. This is so fucked up. I am so fucked up.
“Y-you are so beautiful,” I uttered while continuing to stare at him. "W-why are you so beautiful, Levi?" I added.
The anger didn’t go away in its eyes as it watched me so I was even more scared.
“What happened? You cried. I can see how much you cried tonight,” he told me seriously and gently stroked my eyes.
I shut my eyes. I held his hand tightly and closed my eyes, but I immediately looked up when I saw in my mind the image of Noah and what he had done to me.
"I-I'm fine, Lev."
“You are not. Tell me what happened, please. Stop keeping a secret to me,” he told me anxiously.
I stared at him for a while. When my heart couldn't take it anymore, I hugged him again. I buried my face on his chest and cried there silently. My heart is starting to rip into pieces. It’s starting to burn. It’s starting to make loud noises with pain and agony. It is very heavy. I feel like something is choking me. I feel like I have a big blockage in my throat which makes me moan louder.
I tightened my grip on him and let myself cry out loud.
“Lumiere, what the hell is happening? Tell me!” Levi said out of frustration.
“I-I’m just scared. D-don't leave me again. I-I'm scared, please. I-I can't take it anymore,” I said to him trembling and letting myself be weak in front of him.
“I'm not leaving so please, tell me what happened. You’re making me nervous for Christ’s sake!” He hissed and hugged me tightly.
I closed my eyes sharply and shook my head repeatedly.
“J-just don’t fucking leave me. I-if you're leaving, take me with you! Just don't leave me again. I-I'm scared! I don't want to be here anymore!”
I was completely lost because of the extreme pain I was feeling. I can't hide it anymore because I feel like I'm going to run out of breath anytime. I could already taste the blood on my lower lip because I had bitten it over and over again.
“What do you mean by that? Do you want to go home?” He asked me again.
I immediately nodded repeatedly and hugged him even tighter. The longing I felt earlier intensified as I remembered what had happened. I wanted to tell him what happened but I’m scared! I’m scared and I hate myself for being so cowardly just for the sake of other people!
I was afraid to tell him. I knew he would believe but I was afraid he might kill Noah and put him in jail. What will happen to me and Ria?
“We will go home tomorrow morning, I promise. I’m so sorry. I will never leave you. Just tell me what really happened. I will never be relieved because if it was just a simple thing, you would not react like that,” he declared as if he was so sure about my feelings.
“I-I’m really fine. I-I just want to go home. I want to-"
"Did Noah do something to you?"
My world immediately stopped when I heard that. I let go of his hold when he loosened his grip on me. In time, he pulled me away from him and tried to catch my eye.
"H-huh?"
“I saw you talking to him before we left earlier. What did he tell you? Did that idiot do something to you?” He asked again in a tone ready to fight.
I bit my lower lip.
“N-no... nothing,” I sparingly replied to him.
He almost raped me, Levi.