The other day was very difficult to analyze for me. I can’t even focus on the taping of the movie because my mind is occupied with what I know from Jaxon. I want to ask Levi about that thing but I don’t want to ruin what’s going on right now. I don't want us to break up again but I can't help but think he knows something that might break my heart. Which was probably one of the reasons why he approached me. Guilt trip otherwise. If that’s really the scenario, I don’t know how I’m going to take it anymore.
"You alright? You’ve been preoccupied since the day you talked to Jaxon. What did he tell you?" Rafaella asked me one morning before we headed to the farm.
That's where the next scene of the movie will be held. That time when the female lead got lost and ended up in that hut. It was me. I don’t know why I did it in so much detail. I think I'm going crazy. I feel embarrassed every time everyone who knows my true life story looks at me. It was as if I was telling them the nasty things that happened at Tierra Fima.
“No, Raf. I'm just confused. I don't know who to believe,” I told her lazily.
We once stopped in the reception area of the hotel because we were still waiting for the others. Levi left early for the town with Dad Henry.
"What did he tell you?" she asked me again.
I sighed and looked at her.
"The person who hit and ran papa... Jaxon told me that it was Levi's dad," I confirmed to her.
I could see the shock in her eyes because of what I said. She was silent for a few more seconds until she suddenly tapped me on the arm.
"Why don’t you ask Levi? Maybe he knows something,” she suggested.
I shook my head and averted my eyes from her.
“I don’t want to, Raf. What if he knew it since the beginning?” nothing of myself told her.
“And so? If he knows anything, then—”
“I don't want to ruin it anymore, Raf. I know I can't understand everything so I don't want us to break up again. I love Levi," I stated. My voice broke.
I suddenly remembered what I had heard the night he was talking to Hoseah. What he told her, what he shouted that night at the woman he once loved. I still can’t believe he could say that and to that ‘woman’ yet. I don’t know how he was to other people, how he would deal with it then. Am I the only one with them? What do I know?
“You should still talk to him, Rae. Tell him what is wrong with you so that you can understand him as well. That’s how you broke separated before, so better talk about it with him,” she told me seriously.
I just nodded.
Later, other staff arrived so we went to the farm of Tierra Fima. While I was walking inside the farm, I noticed Marcus staring at me in the distance. He’s the male protagonist in the movie. He has been talking to me for a few days now and he seems to be taking my heart so I feel estranged from him. I'm not sure but I'd rather be just assuming. There is very little news about this man.
My phone beeped suddenly while I was standing under the big tree. When I looked at it, I read it immediately when I saw Levi's message.
Levi
I’m on my way there. I got your food. Where are you?
I automatically smiled when I read ‘em and immediately typed a reply to him.
To Levi
We are on the farm. What did you buy for me? I'm hungry.
When I looked up, I was alert to see Marcus approaching me. I immediately looked for Yerim and Rafa but they were busy doing their job so I felt scared. Marcus is so intimidating and I can’t bear looking at him that long, what if he talks to me?
“Hi, Astraea. How are you?” he asked me when he could get close to me and step aside.
I simply walked away from him and awkwardly smiled at him.
"I'm fine," I replied shortly.
"I heard this movie adaptation of your book is based on real-life experiences," he suddenly uttered so I looked at him in surprise.
He smiled and I could still see him look down at my chest. I immediately remembered that I was only wearing a thin v-neck shirt so I was depressed in my mind.
"Y-yeah... slight," I hesitated to answer him and moved away slightly but he still came closer to me.
I could feel my heart pounding as our arms came together. I was terrified there. We weren’t noticed by everyone because they were busy taping so I felt even more scared for myself. My body stiffened because of his periodic glance at my chest.
“I see... so, are you free tonight? Just some drinks and maybe you want to make out.”
My eyes widened when I heard that. I quickly turned to him and his crazy smile was still there. I don’t know why I can’t move or even speak. As much as I don’t want him to think that I’m letting him harass me, I can’t speak because my whole body is shaking. I felt like I was suddenly stuck in my position.
"What do you think? You’ll like it, I assure you that,” he added and continued to cling to me.
Even before I could speak, I felt him hold both my arms and squeeze them as if shivering.
"You're so hot. No wonder Levi likes you that much the first time he saw you,” he told me horribly.
"L-let go of me, Marcus..." I uttered as I was trying to take his hands off me but he was forcing me.
“Stop resisting, Rae. I know you like it too. That’s why you agreed to let Levi touch you even though you haven’t known each other yet,” he told me directly.
Anger and fear welled up in me when he said that. I didn’t know what to do because he was holding me so tightly and I could feel his palm sliding on my waist. I want to scream and ask for help but nothing is coming out of my mouth! I don't know why! All I knew was that my fear and self-anger were simmering because I felt like I couldn’t fight back. Levi, help...
“Am I right? Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle— ”
"You son of a bitch!"
The extreme speed of events. Suddenly, the bloody Marcus fell to the ground as it gripped his jaw and tore his lip. Everything quickly went awry. I even saw Levi throw the paper bag he was carrying at Marcus and cuss multiple times.
“Motherfucker! Who told you you could touch this girl?!” Levi shouted and quickly rushed to Marcus who was still standing.
I become silent. I kept looking at everyone as my whole body trembled. My eyes are starting to heat up so is my heart. I couldn't calm down because my brain still didn't register what this man had done to me.
“Rae! What happened? My god! Marcus's face is cracked!” Yerim spoke to me in shock when she approached me.
"She was the first to approach me. Isn't that really your girl? Easy to get—”
“Fucking asshole! I will fucking beat you to death, fucktard!” Levi screamed. His expression is like a raging fire so my tears kept flowing.
“Take that motherfucker away from me! I’m going to kill that!” I even heard him shout because many had already stopped him.
I saw the others walk away with Marcus and Levi's gaze on me. Yerim is still not leaving my side. I was even held by her arm due to weakness.
"H-he harassed me, Ye..." I almost whispered to her.
“What?! Why? What happened to you?” she asked a series of questions but I didn’t notice that when Levi quickly attended to me.
His expression hardened while examining my face. He immediately held my trembling hands and kissed it.
“I’m sorry... Rae, what happened? What did he do? Did something happen to you? What did he tell you?” he said emphatically and nervously as if he still wanted to fight.
"W-what took you... what took you so long?" My voice is shaking.
His jaw clenched while staring at me. It was as if someone was looking for something. I don’t know how he feels. All I can see is his raging eyes and furious expression. His hands were still shaking and his veins were coming out as if he still wanted to punch Marcus. I feel like it's true that he was shouting earlier that he was going to kill him.
“He harassed Rae, Lev! That man is really stupid. Why did you take him as the main lead?” Yerim answered his question for me.
“I... it’s my fault. I chose to wear this revealing... clothes and...”I told him in pieces so his forehead furrowed.
He cussed multiple times again before turning to me again.
“What you're wearing is not the problem here, Astraea. The problem is the mindset of that dipshit! Whatever else you wear, if he thinks dirty, it will never be your fault. Do you understand me?" He told me emphatically that he was still full of anger.
I bit my lower lip and just nodded.
He just kept staring at me. Later, he turned me over to him and hugged me tightly. I could feel my mood calming and the tears welling up.
“I am already here. I'm sorry if I left you here. I'm sorry... please. Come, I’ll take you home,” he told me softly and I was removed from that place.
I was scared to death. This has happened to me several times since then. I don't know why but every time it happens to me, I can't fight back. Suddenly my mind goes blank and my body stiffens. I felt nothing but fear. That's all.
It was late at night when I woke up. Levi took me back to our hotel room and let me cry my heart out. I still can’t forget what happened earlier.
"I don't care! Find another main lead, don't ever bring that idiot back!”
I turned to the source of that voice. There I saw Levi heading to the terrace while talking to someone on a cell phone. His voice was still angry.
“I don't care if I have to start all over again. I will pay no matter how much more they are. Just do what I’m saying and take that motherfucker out of the team!” It emphatically told who.
I no longer hesitated to get up to go to him. When I glanced at him, he frowned as he turned off the call. He smoked again and swallowed the wine straight away.
"You're smoking again," I told him and approached him.
It tilted its head to look at me. The wrinkle of its forehead disappeared.
“I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?" This is a slow question for me. The speed would change his emotions.
He put out the cigarette and threw it away and turned to me. He sat up and pulled me closer to him. I’m now sitting on his lap. He's a big guy so I couldn't do anything every time he corners me.
“Did you sleep well? What do you want to eat, Rae? You haven't eaten since before because you slept too long,” he told me while caressing my hands.
I bit my lower lip and leaned toward him. I could smell his perfume which was delicious on the nose. I will never get tired of this smell of him.
“I’m fine. I'm not hungry,” I replied sparingly and lazily.
“Tell me what happened, Lumiere. I want to know what happened earlier,” he declared. I can feel his breath fanning my face.
I sigh violently.
“He wants to make out with me. He thought of that because I was quick to give in to you even though we had never met before. He based that on the story I made,” I began.
I swallowed nothing to clear my throat.
"He told me... that you liked me definitely because of my body," I added shyly and just closed my eyes.
“Why didn't you fight? Why didn't you send him away or did you leave?” he asked, seemingly suppressing his anger again.
“I was so scared, Levi. I screamed for help but I knew only I could hear. I'm so scared because maybe... maybe others will misunderstand me,” I replied to him, forcing myself not to cry.
I heard him swear again. I could feel him sliding his palm on my cheek.
“I’m sorry... we’re going home tomorrow. I will file a lawsuit against that bastard. I'm sorry for leaving you," he said and kissed my earlobe. "... and I love you. I love you for who you are. Your body is art and I love every inch of you but I love you, Rae. I love you. There is no reason because I don't need a reason to love you. I just love you for who you are. Don't forget that, hmm?" He assured me so I completely buried my whole face in his neck.
“Thank you... I don’t know what I will do without you. You and Ria are all I have left and I will die when I lose you. I love you, Levi,” I whispered to him.
Before I could do anything, his cell phone suddenly rang because of a call. I saw the caller which is his Mom so my hearing became alert. He didn’t remove me from his lap.
"Yes, 'ma?" He answered.
I couldn't hear what his mommy said but a few moments later, I saw the fear wrap around Levi's face.
"What is it?" I immediately asked him when he turned off the call.
Terror overtook his face while staring at me.
"Asteria is in the hospital," he uttered which made my heart stop beating.