I almost lost my soul on the island when we left immediately and traveled back to Manila. It was early in the morning when we arrived and went straight to the hospital where Asteria was. As much as I don’t want to overreact but I really don’t, especially since I have a lot of memories of this hospital. This is where my brother and mother died at that time. And now, my daughter is here... I don’t know what will happen. I can't stand it when something bad happens to her. I will die.
“What happened, 'ma? What did the doctor say?” Levi immediately asked his mom when we arrived at my daughter's private room.
I didn't even pay attention to them anymore. My eyes quickly searched for Ria and when I saw her, I almost lost my breath. She was lying, asleep, and very pale. I approached her immediately while holding myself back from crying. I kissed her hard on the head and held her hand tightly.
"M-mommy's here, baby... you'll be okay," I whispered to her even though I knew she couldn't hear me because she was dead in her sleep.
“She passed out suddenly. The results of her tests have not come out yet so we are still waiting,” said Tita Criselda, I noticed that Levi's daddy was silent while looking at us.
I kept my eyes on my daughter. I could feel the dregs of it so my heart was even more broken. I will be killed when I see her like this. I don't like it here. I don't want us here.
“She will be okay. Let's just rest for a while,” I heard Levi say to me as I nodded.
I could feel his gentle caress on my back. "I will never leave her. I'll stay here,” I told him sparingly.
“But, Rae... you haven't eaten since. Maybe— ”
“L-let’s just stay here, Levi... we might be the first one she looks for when she wakes up. I want to be the first person she will see when she wakes up. Please..." I begged him.
I quickly wiped away my tears as I looked at him as waited for his answer. He looked at me for a moment and sighed wearily. She looked at his daughter and I could clearly see his concern.
Before he could speak again, the doctor finally arrived so we were all alert.
“She has Hemolytic Anemia. Her red blood cells are destroyed faster than they are made. This can be inherited so I believe, he inherited it from his parents or any relatives?” The doctor explained.
My forehead furrowed when I heard that. Fear and anxiety immediately filled my whole being when I heard what the doctor said. That hurts me. It's in my mother's race so I'm familiar with that disease.
“I-it's from me. I’m her mother,” I uttered, my voice breaking.
I saw everyone look at me. I could even feel Levi holding my hand tightly so I calmed down somehow.
“What do we have to do, doc? Is my granddaughter will be okay?” Levi’s mom asked the doctor so I just kept listening.
I remember what the doctors did to me when I was also hospitalized for the same disease. They advised blood transfusions because it is the first aid in such a disease but they did not immediately do so because I do not have the same blood type if not just Papa — and he was already dead at that time.
“I would suggest a blood transfusion. We have the smallest blood and she has the rarest blood type which is AB negative,” the doctor declared. "But if her condition gets worse, she needs to have surgery and you need to find a blood and marrow donor," he added, so I'm completely weak.
I was held in Levi's arms because I felt like I was going to fall — in extreme dizziness, hunger, and pain from what was happening to my daughter.
“I am AB negative, doc. I will donate as much as I can. I don’t care how much,” Levi immediately uttered, I could feel his tremble.
“But will the operation be good for her? I mean, she’s too young and weak,” Levi’s dad asked so I looked at him.
Traces of extreme concern in the two adults. I just closed my eyes tightly because I didn't know what to think at first. I feel tired all over my body and I feel like I’m going to fall into extreme weakness. I want to rest but I can’t. I want to see my child well.
“Actually, surgery is the best option for her because her red blood cells are quickly depleted. Now, as long as we have not found a donor, she will first need a blood transfusion to regain her strength,” he explained to us so I just nodded.
I wiped the tears running down my cheek and took the doctor's hand.
I sighed. “Do everything, doc, please. I can't...” I almost whispered to him.
It just nodded. When he finished explaining everything, I went back to Ria's side who is still asleep. My eyes searched for Levi and I saw him come out with his parents. I sighed violently and let myself lie down next to her. I stared at it for a few more minutes because she might wake up but I was already drowsy.
I was startled when I heard a crack. I slowly open my eyes only to see my daughter still sleeping beside me. When I looked up at the door of the room, I saw Levi's dad there, he seemed to be talking to someone on his cell phone because it was in his ear. I was about to go up but I stiffened when I heard what he said.
“My son has nothing to do with her. Only my granddaughter matters — no! I will not step down just because I accidentally killed her father. It was an accident, Pablo,” he said emphatically to his interlocutor.
My heartbeat slowed. I turned my gaze back to my daughter and closed my eyes sharply while I could still hear his sharp words.
“It wasn’t my fault! Just, make it all the way. If she found out there was nothing I could do about it — I didn't care! They are not married yet, the important thing is that my granddaughter is safe, she is the only one who is important in this family,” I heard him add.
I winced. I felt anger and pain well up in my heart when I heard that. My eyes remained closed. I even covered my arm there so I couldn’t see the light.
I gasped for air. As I choke myself into trying not to howl like a wolf, my heart begins to burn. I suddenly shrank for myself. I suddenly felt ashamed of myself. No anger, just pity for myself and my daughter. I don’t know where this is coming from but I feel like whatever I do, I will never be enough for other people. I can’t get to the place where they are. He killed my dad, why is he still so brave?
I gently tapped my chest because it was so painful. I could no longer hear anything, only my faint moan because of my crying.
"M-mommy..."
I was shocked when I heard that. When I look at her differently, she looks at me with a frown so I feel mixed emotions.
"O-oh, god, Ria... you're awake," I exclaimed and quickly hugged her tightly. I kept crying out loud.
“Why are you crying, Mommy? Are you in pain too?” She innocently asked me. Yes, baby. Mommy's heart hurts.
“N-no, baby. Mommy is so worried about you. How are you feeling? Does anything hurt?" I asked her when I pushed her away from me.
I even fixed her messy hair. I don't even know where Levi's dad is anymore.
“I'm sleepy, Mum. I want to see daddy... ” she requested so I nodded repeatedly and adjusted myself.
“I’ll call your dad. Wait for me here, okay? I’ll just call him, he’s outside, wait for me,” I hurriedly told her and I almost ran to the door just to get out.
My eyes quickly searched for Levi and I saw him he was still talking to the doctor. When they finished, I then approached.
“I’ll donate my blood to her later. Take a break, Astraea. You looked very tired, Love,” he gently greeted me and kissed me on the lips.
"You cried," he stated so I looked away from him. My eyes caught his dad's.
“What happened? Is she awake yet? Why are you crying?" He was worried about my question so I just shook my head.
“She’s awake and she’s looking for you. I'll just buy coffee,” I told him but he was still holding me.
“I will buy it. Just rest,” he insisted.
“I’m fine, I can do it. Go to Ria first, she's looking for you,” I ordered him and stared at him.
We were like that for a few more minutes before he tiredly sighed and nodded. He even kissed me again on the lips before he entered the room. When he disappeared from my sight, I quickly followed Levi's dad. I found it in the hospital pantry. There are not many people there because it is a private hospital and there are only a few patients here. I still had second thoughts if I would approach it but I did too later.
“Rae? What brought you here? Seat,” he said to me in surprise but casually so I did what he said.
"Is my granddaughter awake yet?" It asked more questions so I laughed that he was surprised.
"Does Levi know how bad your behavior is?" I couldn't help but question him.
I saw the momentary shock in his eyes but that also disappeared immediately and was replaced by a blank expression. Thankfully it doesn’t look like Levi.
"What are you talking about, ija?"
"You were the one who ran away from my dad who also died later because of what you did," I declared to him. "Did you know he would still be alive today if you had just left him that day?" I added emphatically that he finally sharpened his gaze on me.
“That was an accident, Astraea—”
“Is it still an accident that you are being hypocritical to me and my daughter? You pretend you want me for your son, but if it weren't for your granddaughter, you wouldn't accept me. Am I right, Mr. Acuzar?” I kept talking to him.
I didn’t plan this all along. If I were the only one to follow, I wouldn’t want to go back to this situation again. But as time went on, I thought I was accepted and recognized by everyone, and it gradually became clear what their real purpose was for me... for us.