Chapter Seven — Still Trying to Move on

Irene’s POV:

I got home feeling really exhausted. I was made to wait for hours in the waiting room before I got attended to. For some reason it felt like I was being made to wait on purpose, all because of Mark. For so long I didn’t dare apply at this company even if it was my dream company because Mark, my ex, made me believe it would be weird if lovers worked at the company and also that they wouldn’t ever accept me because they only accepted people with a PhD.

I hesitated at first about applying to the company now that we have broken up, because I didn’t want him to think I was stalking him. But then again, why should I miss a shot at happiness and a stable source of income because of one ex who broke my heart and doesn’t care about me? Why should I care about what he thinks when he doesn’t care about how I feel? I decided then that I would go ahead and apply. But with the way things are, I doubt I will be accepted, he once told me there isn’t any application that goes in without his knowledge, so he’s obviously going to see mine and who knows what he would do?

I feel really hungry, and the only thing available is cereal. I want real food so I would just go out and get groceries so I could cook what I want. I approached the grocery store to see a sign board with a promo offer.

“Just in time,” I said as I exited the uber and walked in.

I was going through each section to get the things I want when I heard someone call my name.

“Will?” I said, as I turned over to see him. “Hi."

“Hey you,” he said.

“Uhm, do you always get groceries here?” I asked.

“Yes. It’s the closest place to the house and also the largest mall,” he answered.

“Yeah it's cool,” I replied.

“Do you have a ride outside?” he asked.

“No, I don’t. Got here with an uber,” I replied.

“Do you mind if I give you a ride back home then"

“Oh, sure. I’d appreciate"

He finished picking the things he wanted before me. His cart was filled up with all sorts of cereals and groceries too. He offered to pay for the things I ordered and I said No. I’m glad he asked and didn’t just go ahead to pay. We were now in the car and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t in love with his playlist.

“I love your playlist” I said.

“Yeah? Are you a fan of Sia And Avicii?” he asked.

“Yes. I am a very big fan actually” I answered.

“Same here” he said.

“Bird Set Free is my all-time fav though,” I said.

“Are you kidding? That's my all-time fav. That song is everything."

“I know,” I nodded and smiled.

“So how did the job application process go?” he asked.

“Well, I don’t know. I don’t see myself getting picked though."

“And why’s that?” he asked.

I let out a sigh “So many reasons actually. But the main reason still remains that it’s a big company and you have to know someone to get in and all that. And I was once told that they only accept people with a PhD degree."

“That’s not true, none of it is true. Wait where did you hear all that?” he asked.

“From my …” Before I could complete the sentence my phone started to ring. It was my mum that was calling. I guess she wanted to ask me about the job. She called me very early this morning and told me she heard from a friend they were recruiting, she knows how I always talked about working in the company someday and how much it meant to me so she urged me to apply and also prayed I would be picked.

“Hello mum” I answered.

“Hello, how are you dear? Have you applied?” she asked.

“Yes, it was quite tiring. I was made to wait for hours” I replied.

“That’s no problem. Sometimes you have to go through these things, what matters now is that you get selected” she said.

“I don’t know about getting selected mum” I replied as Will pulled over at his house.

“Why is that? I have told you that being selected is in God’s hands, if it is his Will, you will be selected"

“Okay Mum.” I replied, as I grabbed the paper bags. Will is such a gentle man, he assisted in carrying some as well.

“Thanks” I whispered to him as we walked to my apartment. He replied with a nod.

“Yes, stay safe and let us know whatever the result turns out to be” she said.

“Okay. How’s dad and everyone?” I asked. Sliding the card through the door.

“We’re all good” she replied.

“Okay” I said as the call ended.

I let out a sigh. “Thanks for helping out with this"

“Come on its fine. It’s the least I could do” he replied.

“Do you care for a glass of juice?” I asked. It’s the least I could also do.

“No. thanks. I have to go over to my place and arrange the groceries” he answered.

“Oh. Yeah. That’s true” I replied.

“Yeah,” he smiled.

*****

I just completed a session with my therapist and it was everything I imagined it to be, Helpful, very helpful. It was a Google video meeting so I got to cry and express myself in front of her. She said a lot of things that I could relate with, and I am very grateful I signed up for it. Right after the session finished I went over to the kitchen to prepare some pancakes.

I was pouring a 2nd glass of juice when I heard my phone beep. I picked it up to see a message from Mark displayed on the notification bar.

'Did you seriously dare apply? After I told you, you couldn’t be accepted with your kind of qualification. Is this some sort of stunt to stalk me? I think it’s high time you moved on,' I scoffed after reading it. I can’t believe I even still have his number saved on my phone, but it’s because he blocked my number I didn’t see the need to block his as well. I shook my head and continued my meal. The food was too good for some jerk to ruin it.

I’m not even in the mood to get mad or think about the message he sent. But come to think of it, how’s it that he now hates me so much. Could it be he has always felt this much hate towards me? Yet he kissed me severally and always told me he loved me. He’s such a scumbag. I hate him so much. I could feel my heart racing against my chest, and tears rolling down my face, I thought I was healing and getting over him already. Why did he have to show up and make me feel this way again? I wish he would pay for all this pain he has caused me.

I stood up with the dish filled with pancakes and threw it in the zinc. I deserved better than this, why is healing and moving on so hard? I really loved him. He made me believe he loved me too, what went wrong?