Chapter 6 Oh, fuck. New temptation
Saraphina
The first person my mother looked for was Cassian when she walked into the room. Whatever she was going to tell me was so important, she did not even see what I was wearing. Or maybe she just did not care.
“Thank you, Cassian, for looking after my daughter…”
“I am glad you are here….” I missed the rest of his words. All I saw was a nervous look in his eyes. Was he scared? Before I could understand it, he took my mom’s hand and they both stepped outside.
“Just give me a moment, please…” my mother said, waving a hand at me. That is when I went upstairs and changed into a short blue dress.
“Where is Cassian?” I asked as soon as I came down and my mom walked back in, closing the door.
“He left. My timing was perfect.”
“What is so important that you could not say it over the phone?”
My mother breathed in deeply and came close to me. She put her right hand on my shoulder.
“I need to say I am sorry for lying. I did not go to see your uncle. No one has an accident. I really needed to see my man…I went to see Clement…”
“Your boyfriend?” I almost shouted. There was a beat of silence before she spoke.
“Now,” she said with a smile. “He is more than that. We are getting married. We are moving in with him.”
“What? Are you being serious? Do you love him, or do you love his money? I cannot believe you would marry a man you have barely known for three months!” I stormed off, pacing around the room.
“But I have never felt like this before, honey. This is real, I can feel it,” my mom said, following me.
“That is what you said about the last, I have lost count of how many men, Louisa.”
“Hey, watch what you say, Saraphina. And I am not Louisa, I am your mother,” she said, her voice hard.
Yeah, maybe I will call you that when you start acting like one, I thought. It was a nasty thing to think, and I would never say it out loud. No matter how much I hated her sudden decision to get married, I would never want to hurt her like that.
“We are moving…”
“Moving? What about Cassian?” The words were out before I could stop them. My own feelings were betraying me.
“I know Cassian has been there for you, but Clement will be good to you.”
“I…love Cassian!” I did not even feel the tears coming until my eyes were full.
“I know you love him. He is a good man. But Clement will care for you just the same. He will be like a father to you. I will fill that vacuum. He promised to look after you. You will not be alone. Besides, Cassian is getting married soon.”
When she said that, my heart broke all over again and I started to cry. If my mom knew why I was really crying. Maybe that was why he told me not to come to his house anymore. All at once, every good feeling I had for him vanished. I wiped my tears, feeling used by someone I thought loved me as much as I loved him. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Now, let me explain about my mom and our family. Maybe it will help you understand why I fell for a man so much older.
My mom was sixteen when she had me. She had to leave high school and be a single mother. My father was never part of our lives. He sent money sometimes, but I never saw his face.
After that, my mom worked hard to raise me in New York City. She finished her schooling and went to college, and in the end, she became a flight attendant. I learned a lot from watching her life. First: I had learnt that, as a woman, you can make it all alone and from what Cassian had done to me, men are not to be trusted. Ever.
My mom had more boyfriends than I could count. She went out with doctors, lawyers, bankers, waiters, trainers, even men who were already married. I lost track. But not one of them stayed. After seeing so many men break my mother’s heart, I made a big choice. I put all my energy into school and I don’t know how I fell for Cassian. And here we are, moving away from the place I once called home.
In the car on the way to the airport, I asked my mom one more time.
“Mom, are you sure about this? I get that you date a lot. But marriage is not some casual day out.”
“Saraphina, baby,” she said, taking my hand. “I know my past is not perfect. And I know you are worried about me. But honey, I have been waiting for so long for a man like Clement. He makes me happier than I have ever been.”
I saw the honest hope on my mother’s face and I let my fight go. Like it or not, my mother was the only family I had left. My grandma used to visit often, but for the last few years, she has been too sick to leave her home. I was all my mom had, and I knew I had to stand by her choice, no matter what.
“So, you are really going through with this?” I asked, my voice full of disbelief.
“Yes. It will be a small, beautiful wedding in Hawaii, with just a few people,” she said, her voice bright and excited. “And you are starting a whole new life, and you will have everything you need,” she said, rolling her eyes. She held my hand while she drove, acting like a little kid. Sometimes I thought that maybe I was the mother and Louisa was my daughter.
“Fine,” I let out a long breath. “But, I am not going to pretend I like it.”
Mom let out a happy scream and I just closed my eyes in frustration. I still thought this was a fucking terrible idea, but there was nothing left for me to do.
“Oh, the things I do for my family,” I muttered.
A moment later, my mom was talking about this man as if he was her first real love, and I could see that belief written all over her face.
After hours on the plane and listening to my mom talk without stopping, we finally landed on the island and met my future stepfather, Clement. He collected us from the airport and Louisa could not stop staring at him. I did not understand her obsession. He was just a normal man in his forties, wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants. But yes, he seemed kind enough.
As we left the airport, I leaned my head against the car window and let my eyes drift over the view. I caught sight of the ocean, lines of palm trees, and the sun casting a soft, warm, orange light. It was really a beautiful place, and it was not even evening yet.
Okay, I had to say it, Hawaii was gorgeous and the air was warm. But I was being difficult and I had already promised myself I would not enjoy any of this. So yes. I would keep my mouth shut and stay out of the way.
I could not wait for this summer to end so I could leave for college.
“We are here!” Clement’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts.
I had not noticed how long we had been driving. The car stopped in front of a comfortable-looking two-story house. The front yard was full of all sorts of trees and flowers. As I stepped out of the car, my eyes moved over the whole property, stopping at a small garage off to the side.
The garage door suddenly swung open, and a guy walked out. He was around my age, maybe a little older. He was not wearing a shirt, just low-slung swim trunks. His body was toned and covered in tattoos. His skin was a deep golden color, and his hair was a messy, sun-lightened blond. He looked up and saw Clement, then Louisa, and then his eyes settled on me. He caught me staring, and I went completely still, not knowing what to do.
“And this is Ryan, my son,” Clement told us.
The air felt thick and I realized I had been holding my breath for a long time. Breathe, you idiot, let it out!
“Or you can call him Ry for short,” Clement added.
“Hey,” Ryan said, his eyes still locked on me.
“Hi, Ryan! I have heard so much about you, it is so good to meet you. This is my daughter, Saraphina,” Louisa said, walking over to shake his hand.
My mom and Ryan both turned to me, waiting for me to speak, but my body seemed to have forgotten how to work.
Say something, you fool! Say hello!
I was screaming at myself inside my head, but no sound came out.
“Ry, come help with the bags,” Clement called from the back of the car as he started pulling out our luggage.
“No problem,” Ryan answered, and walked toward his father.
I still could not make myself speak, but my eyes followed his every step. He raised one eyebrow at me and gave a quiet laugh. As he walked past me to the back of the car, our eyes met once more and Ryan gave me a wide, daring smile. A boyish, knowing smile. And I recognized that smile. That smile meant trouble.
Oh, fuck.