CHAPTER 151- EMILY

The next morning, I woke up to sunlight streaming through my window and the journal sitting on my bedside table. I hadn't touched it since receiving it, but now it seemed to call out to me.

I picked it up, running my fingers over the smooth leather cover. Part of me wanted to shove it back in the drawer, pretend it didn't exist, but another part-the braver, more curious part-wanted to see where it might lead.

After a moment's hesitation, I flipped it open to the first blank page.

What do I want?

The question was simple but impossibly hard to answer.

I tapped the pen against my lip, letting my thoughts flow freely.

I want to feel seen. I want to feel safe but also challenged. I want to be with people who care about me for who I am, not for who they want me to be. Chris, Matt, and Gideon… they make me feel all of that and more. But can I really trust them? Can I trust myself with them?

I closed the journal, my heart racing. Writing the words didn't make them any less confusing, but it felt good to get them out.

By midday, I'd made up my mind. I couldn't keep running from this-whatever this was. If there was even a chance to find clarity, I had to take it.

I scrolled through my phone, finding Chris's number. My thumb hovered over the call button for what felt like an eternity before I finally pressed it.

"Emily?" His voice was warm, hopeful.

"Hi, Chris," I said, my voice shaking slightly. "I was wondering if you'd like to meet. Just to talk."

"Of course," he replied without hesitation. "When and where?"

"Does the park near 8th sound okay? Around four?"

"Perfect. I'll see you then."

The hours leading up to our meeting passed in a blur of nervous energy. By the time I arrived at the park, my stomach was in knots.

Chris was already there, leaning against a tree with his hands in his pockets. He looked effortlessly composed, but the way his gaze softened when he saw me made my nerves ease, if only slightly.

"Hey," he said, offering a small smile.

"Hey," I replied, sitting down on the bench he'd chosen.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. The silence was heavy, but not uncomfortable. It gave me time to gather my thoughts.

"I've been thinking a lot," I began, staring at the ground. "About you. About all of you."

Chris didn't interrupt, letting me take my time.

"I don't know how to do this," I admitted. "I've never been in a… situation like this before. And honestly, it scares me. But…" I looked up, meeting his eyes. "I can't stop thinking about you. About Matt and Gideon. And that scares me too."

Chris leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "Emily, none of this is easy. Not for you, and not for us. But we're willing to work through it if you are. We don't want to overwhelm you or force you into anything you're not ready for."

I nodded, his words settling some of the tension in my chest. "I need boundaries," I said firmly. "If we're going to try this, I need to feel like I have some control. I can't… I won't lose myself in this."

"You won't," he assured me. "We don't want you to. Your happiness and comfort are just as important as ours."

The sincerity in his voice made my heart ache. How had I managed to find three men who genuinely seemed to care about me, flaws and all?

"I don't know what the future looks like," I admitted. "But I think I'd like to find out."

Chris smiled then, a real, genuine smile that made my stomach flip. "That's all I needed to hear."

Before I could second-guess myself, I reached out and touched his hand. The warmth of his skin steadied me, grounding me in the moment. Chris responded by gently intertwined our fingers, his grip firm but comforting.

"You mean a lot to us, Emily," he said, his voice low and sincere. "More than I think you realize."

My breath caught, the intimacy of the moment sending a wave of heat through me. "You mean a lot to me too," I whispered.

His eyes softened, and before I could think, he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. It was tender, unhurried, and full of unspoken promises.

When he pulled back, I felt a warmth spread through my chest, as if some small piece of my heart had finally clicked into place.

We stayed in the park for hours, talking about everything and nothing. For the first time in weeks, I felt like I could breathe.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the park in a golden glow, Chris turned to me, his expression serious. "Emily, you're not alone in this. Whatever you need, we're here for you. Always."

His words stayed with me long after we parted ways, a comforting echo that made me believe, just for a moment, that maybe, just maybe, this could work.