Chapter 45 Distant
Daylan's POV
As Brie was rushed in on a gurney that the medical team waited for her with, Tabitha rushed in after them. They passed me and I had no choice but to go with them. An oxygen mask was provided for her as she tried to breathe. I watched her as she struggled and then her hand found me, squeezing it as she looked at me, and I squeezed her hand back.
"Doctor Hart, you know her condition better," one of the nurses said as we reached one of the rooms.
"Um..." I watched as the other doctor help her, but I was still in this state of shock and feeling my walls building up.
"Doctor Hart."
"She has Pulmonary Embolism, and she is also pregnant." I replied.
"She's pregnant, Doctor Ricketts," the nurse called out to him. He nodded as he continued to help Brie and the other nurses helped him. I just remained rooted in my spot.
They quickly did an ultrasound, and on the screen, there was a little gestation sac. She was indeed pregnant. The walls seemed to be closing in on me yet again as my eyes never left that screen.
"Doctor, do you mind helping?" the nurse asked, finally tearing my eyes away from that gestation sac that I was looking at on the screen.
"I just can't be here to deal with it. Please inform Doctor Ricketts, everything is in her folder which is on the system too." I informed the nurse as I glanced one more time at Brie, who was still the same in her condition before I hurried out. As I stepped out into the hallway, I closed my eyes just breathing again. That suffocation no longer strangling me, but yet the problem was still there.
I walked down the hallway to my office. When I entered, Tabitha was sitting by the desk, scrolling through her phone. I rounded the desk and took a seat. "Is she okay?" she looked at me, there was concern mixed with worry in her eyes.
"I don't know, I left her in the care of Doctor Ricketts. I just-"
"What is it? This is unlike you to be dealing with a patient, let alone Brie. You care about her too much to walk away from her condition," she said, and she was right. I just cannot tell her the reason why I cannot help her right now. It's just too much.
"I can't tell you what it is, but I think she needs you most of all. I am swamped with the project and other patients too." I said.
"Daylan, I know you. I was your wife, remember?" she looked at me expectantly. "You do not just walk away from patients and when you have a bad day with a patient dying, you have some time for yourself, and you spring back to help the next one. Is there something serious going on with Brie that you are just backing out as her doctor?" she asked, her brows furrowing.
"There is just so much more than what is going on, and I just don't feel great."
"What is going on? You cannot keep this all to yourself or bottled up. You can trust me," she pressed.
"I'm just not ready to be a father," I ran my fingers through my hair.
"I know that, but it doesn't mean that you should care any less about Brie. She needs you as her doctor right now. She trusts you as her own doctor. Sometimes, I don't even understand men. You did this before you left me and Rick because you didn't want to expand the family. You are doing it yet again," she hissed, and she was right. I feel suffocated.
"You're right, I am. I just found out that she's pregnant, and I don't know what to do," tears stung the back of my eyes.
She let out a breath as she soaked it in, "It's yours," she stated as she looked at me again.
"Yeah, I'm not ready, I don't know what to do or say. I cannot even break that news to her as her doctor. It's suffocating me. I just couldn't be there after I saw the ultrasound. I need time away from her to think. Maybe I will come around with the idea of being a father, but I just need some time."
"There is nothing to think about. The baby is already there and don't you dare walk away from her," she pointed a finger at me. "You go to her and be there for her, even if Doctor Ricketts is looking after her. Hold her hand and tell her everything will be okay because in this moment, she is afraid. Don't do what you did to us," tears welled up in her eyes.
"I need a few hours, and then I will see her...please."
She nodded, "Very well," she replied. "How did she handle it...the news?"
"She didn't know until they did an ultrasound on her earlier. I found out via a blood test this morning. She wasn't feeling well, and I was concerned about her. I'm still worried about her. But finding out that she is expecting just threw me off completely. Her condition is also dangerous. She needs to go through some scans and everything because she may have a blood clot blocking in the artery of her lungs, reducing oxygen and even damaging the organ. That is making her short of breath, chest pains and more. I wish that I was more safe with her because this is life-threatening."
"Gosh, I just hope that you think about your future with her as soon as possible because she needs you."
Tabitha was right, but I still needed time. This is a lot to take in from the news of pregnancy and I don't want to be distant when I'm there with her. I would rather have Tabitha be by her side than me at this moment. I can only hope that she will be okay.