Chapter 38 Chapter 19 (ii)
FAE
I waited for him to laugh, but he just kept staring at me. "I don't understand. I know you used to go out. Barhopping and night-clubbing and all that. I know because you were with Carl."
He nodded. "Yes. Not just that, I own several bars and nightclubs. I go out and hook up. But that's it. I've never dated."
"What? I can’t believe that," I said.
"I heard some say they have dated me after we hooked up, but since they tell that to others without me there, I didn’t care. I mean, once or twice hooking up didn’t mean dating. I don’t drive to a girl’s house to pick her up for a date. I don’t visit with flowers and chocolates. I haven’t gotten attached to anyone enough for me to want to make things serious."
"That’s impossible."
He laughed. "Why? It is true. Also, I have my head seriously focused on work and his businesses. I have my own distractions... until you. You are the only one, Fae, the first woman I want to seriously date."
I swallowed, not knowing what to say, especially with those eyes staring at me, expecting me to respond to what he said. It was like I held the answers to the things that confused him.
"Didn't you miss me yesterday?" he demanded.
"I did," I admitted. "But..."
"But...?"
Because you're my friend. Because you're fun to be with. Because I miss our intimacy. Because my body and... and maybe even my heart is starting to miss you.
"You're thinking of Carl," he said.
I was speechless. But if he hadn’t mentioned it, I wouldn't have thought of Carl. “I wasn’t. But I do now.”
"I understand if you do," he said while stroking my arm.
“I wasn’t,” I insisted. “Why will I lie about that? I can also easily say if I was. But I really wasn’t until you’ve mentioned his name. So why were you even thinking about him?” I asked, poker-faced.
He watched my face for a moment. “You don’t think about him that much now?”
I pursed my lips as I thought about it. “Well, I’ve been distracted with you and then the move here. I guess I should have thought about him more often, just that… I haven’t.”
He looked pleased. "Then I’ll continue distracting you. We’ll date.”
“You really think we’re there? Isn’t it too soon? What if you change your mind… later on you might want for things to go back to the way it used to be.”
“There are just things I want to do outside with you."
"Nightclubbing?"
"Dinner, movies... whatever you want," he said. "But, Fae... if you're still heartbroken, you can’t go out to nightclubs. I’ll not allow it."
"Allow?" I frowned at him.
He shook his head. "I’m your exclusive rebound. Why would you look for another?"
I widened my eyes. "Exclusive rebound? There’s an exclusive rebound now?"
"Yes, I was," he said, sounding offended. “Except from today I’ll be your exclusive date.”
I was stunned. He wasn’t even laughing, not even a bit. He didn’t look like he was holding back laughter either. Is this how people flirt? I never… "Jigo, what do you really want from me?"
His forehead creased. "I’m telling you. Let’s be exclusive. I want us to put this in order, Fae." His eyes were fixed on me.
"Order," I echoed again, like a fool.
He nodded. "However this started, you’re not just a hookup to me. I want this, being with you like this. I want to do for you what Carl should have done. I want your friends to know about me. I don’t want to feel awkward like we’re doing something wrong when they come over if I happen to want to be with you, too. Baby... I don’t want to hide you. I don’t want to hide this!"
I stared at him for a few moments. Then I sat up. "You’re really serious, aren’t you?"
He also sat up. We faced each other. He bent down and touched the tips of our noses before giving me a sweet kiss on the lips, then brushed away the hair that had fallen on my shoulders, as if he just wanted to touch. To caress. To do something for me.
And that alone melted my heart. Who would have thought he could be this sweet and affectionate? I was still confused about my feelings and everything, but I knew I wasn’t ready for this to end if we couldn’t agree on this proposal of his now.
"I’m pursuing this," he said to me, his voice firm and determined, as if he’d read my thoughts about not wanting to lose him.
I closed my eyes for a moment, tickled with excitement and hyperventilating at his actions. At the words he was saying. Then I opened my eyes and seriously faced this. Him. "Jigo... are you sure? There are other women who don’t have issues like I do. Maybe you’re not thinking straight?" Or am I the one not thinking straight? He’s asking for a semblance of order to our relationship. And knowing him, this was equal to a commitment! Don’t I want this?
His jaw tightened. "I don’t care about other women. You’re the one I want. And please don’t tell me you don’t want this, too. You’ll be lying because I can see it in your face, I can feel it, that you want me, too. Maybe I started as a rebound and I swear, that night, I was okay with that. But now, I can’t stop thinking about you. As soon as I get off work, I want to come here right away for a hug. I don’t even want to go to the office and leave you unless I know that after work, I’ll see you again. That we’ll be together again at the end of the day. And I don’t care about anything else!"