Chapter 39 Chapter 20 (i)
Fae
"Okay, okay..." I said, dumbfounded by his words.
"What is? It’s okay with you? You agree?"
"I agree. If you really want to try, when do we start?" I asked, exhilarated at how easy it was right now to succumb to him. She didn’t care later. And not caring felt good, too. Right, somehow.
His face brightened. He even smiled a bit, looking relieved. "Date me?" he asked, his eyes fixed on my lips.
I licked my lips. "You really want to date?"
"We’re already sleeping together. It’s only right, isn’t it?"
I shook my head. "I don’t know. I don’t know how men think. You’ve hooked up but didn’t like them. We’ve also hooked up but suddenly you want to be exclusive. So I don’t know what we’re doing."
"Fae… I don’t give a fuck how other men think. The only thing I care about now is you only think about what I think from now on."
I gasped. "So demanding." Then I laughed when he pounced on me and pinned me to the bed. "Jigo!"
"I don’t know why I seem so stupid right now. I seem to be talking too much and yet not clear enough." He looked incredibly frustrated.
I nodded. "Maybe we need to eat our breakfast."
"You think I’m just hungry?"
I nodded again. "And I’m hungry, too." I held the strands of his hair that had fallen on his forehead. "Then we can talk about our plans about… us."
He blinked. "Us.”
He’d said that so weirdly I asked. “What?”
“My god, Fae. I’ve said so much and you only need to say one word..."
I bit my lower lip. "There is an ‘us?’ Really?"
"You betcha, there is. Don’t you take it back."
"I'm taking it back."
"NO, you will not." Then he tickled me. In the next few moments, the room was filled with my screams and laughter until I was crying from laughing too hard, promising I would never take back what I said just that he stop tickling me.
“What do you think?” he asked, propping his elbows on either side of me, watching me while I caught my breath.
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever you’re thinking, my man."
He chuckled. “Which is…?”
“We’re going… dating?”
“I want them to see us dating. Especially those who want to date you because there’s no more Carl in the way. They’ll see that this time, it is Jigo in the way.”
I smiled at him so sweetly. “Ah, so because you don’t know how to court me, you also don’t want me to date those who do kno—nooo!” He was tickling me again, not just with his hands but with his lips. “Stooop!” I screamed.
He stopped and lifted his face. “You won’t let anyone else date you.”
I shook my head repeatedly.
“Say it.”
“No! I won’t let anyone else date me, I swear!”
He planted a kiss on my lips, then hugged me until my breathing calmed. “I’m not going to be like him, babe. I promise.”
“I know,” I said quickly. “That’s absurd to even say. And Carl isn’t like you. If someone had dated me before, he might have even been happy.”
He shook his head. “I don’t believe that. If you had let someone else date you, he might have noticed you. But he never had competition. You were always available to him anytime and he never experienced losing you. That’s why he was easily tempted by your friend.”
“You’re saying nonsense,” I said, feeling sad again.
“He isn’t entirely unfeeling. When you resigned from the firm, he called me immediately.”
I lifted my head and looked at him. "What? Why didn’t you tell me? What did he say?"
"He demanded to know if you’re okay. I said yes. That you’re being taken care of. He didn’t need to bother himself calling to see if his stupid betrayal hasn’t killed you yet."
I blinked. "You said that?"
He looked down, as if hiding his eyes from me. "Yes."
"Wow! Thank you! If I had answered his call, I wouldn’t have been that brutal."
He looked back at me immediately. "He called you, too?"
I nodded. "I didn’t answer. I don’t plan to talk to him for a while." I lay on my back to stare at the spinning fan in the ceiling. "I don’t want to talk to him or think about him."
"I think he’s beginning to realize how much he’s hurt you. And I think he’s worried about losing you."
Yes, my friendship. And it was the only thing Carl had ever wanted from me. Just friendship. The problem was, because of what he and Sarah did, even that might already be lost. How could I ever trust him again when he treated me like I was nothing? He could have told me the truth. He didn’t have to hide. But I found out from others. It wasn’t like I chose to be in love with him. But as a long-time friend, he should have known I wasn’t going to do anything to disrupt his relationship with Sarah. He could have warned me, gave me a chance to wean myself away. As the kind of friends I thought we were, he could have at least given me that.
And just like that, it was hurting again. My lower lip trembled. "Let’s not talk about him anymore, please?"
He held my head and kissed me on the forehead. "Let’s not talk about anyone else but us, babe," he said gently.
I sniffed. "That’s nice, calling me ‘babe.’"
He smiled gently. "You like it?"
I nodded.
"It’s yours, then, babe."
"Doesn’t it seem like we’re really together if you do that?"
"How about just putting it in your head that we’re together now? For real."