Chapter 44 Take it Away

POV: Jax

I just brought Haven to her appointment. My baby put up no fight this time. Good girl.

Linda is watching Cameron while I work. Julian and Rose will be here tomorrow. Things kind of got away from me yesterday so I have to play catch up. Luckily it was only one day and and not that much needs catching up on.

I just needed to be with Haven yesterday and me some things up to her. We talked a lot. She's become uncomfortable around me. I don't like it but I made her feel that way. She did fall asleep last night after we talked.

I couldn't sleep without her. Not when we are fully mated. Ash was having fits. I had to go get Haven. After I heard her little thoughts of a vibrator and that it helps her sleep I wanted so bad to help her with that.

"Mate doesn't need a toy. She has us to do that now." Ash says annoyed at a the little toy that has touched his mate.

She started to get a little mad and uncomfortable at one of my comments so I stopped and didn't try anything.

I want to make this work with her in every possible way. She deserves the world. My head begins to hurt. I've had this dull ache all day but now it's getting worse.

I've taken some Tylenol already but it is doing nothing. My vision gets blurry I hear a high pitched ringing in my ears. What is happening.

Suddenly I see a the entire scene of my father's death play out as if I were there. Why am I seeing this? What is this?

My hands grip my desk claws comeing out. More images play put.

Haven sit by the window. She's looking up at the moon. I walk in and she smiles. I wrap my arms around her and my hands caress her stomach that has a small bump.

Fuck what was that. It's like this rush of power went through me. "You have changed. You have the power from the moon blessed now. Your destiny has awakened." Ash speaks.

My destiny? Is Haven pregnant? Was what I just saw was real? "Yes it was real. I have waited a long time to fully come out. What you have felt of me was just a partial bit of the power we truly hold. This is the end game." Ash says.

"Ash what are you talking about?" I demand answers. "On the full moon you will need to shift. There is much you don't know. It will be revealed to you as it comes. This must be done correctly or it will end badly. So the information will come as it needs."

The next full moon is this week. Why is this all just happening now? "Ash have you know this whole time?"

"Yes I have. I've always been why I am. I could just never reveal my true self until it was time. Our time has come."

This is insane. I can't believe this. What the hell am I? My door burst open. I'm filled with relief. Haven.

She just plops herself right on down in the chair. "I went happy now." She says. "You seem in a better mood." I'm definitely feeling better now that she's here.

"I am. I feel a lot better now." She smiles. "You'll have to remind me to thank Lana." I tell her. "Lana said I should paint again though."

I agree with that. "But all my paint stuff isn't here." She says. "We can fix that. We'll go get some stuff so you can paint later." I tell her.

I do a little bit more work and Haven just hangs around my office just like she used to do. I'm surprised. Yesterday she wasn't like this. She was a bit afraid to do anything but now she's back to the way she was.

"That must have been one hell of a session." I comment. "What do you mean?" A confused Haven looks at me.

"I mean your back to you. I'm glad to see it." Her face drops. "Not completely. But I'm getting there. Lana suggested that I take the rest of the day and act like nothing has changed and see if I actually feel that way at the end of the day."

"OK so you decided to started it off with being in here. It does feel like it used to be except there's just one difference." I smirk getting up from chair.

"Which is?" I walk towards her. She's sitting in one of the chairs watching me. "We didn't do this before." I kiss her. It takes her a few seconds to respond. I pull back after a good minute. Goddess I have been wanting to do that.

Her face turns to a light pink. "Nope didn't do that." I can hear in her thoughts think of if we had and Cat walked in. I don't even want to think of how she would react to that. She would have freaked out.

I don't comment on her thoughts though. I will show her how to block me out. I just won't right now because I'm worried of her relapsing and attempting to commit suicide again. I want to know what she's thinking so I can stop her before she even tries it.

After tomorrow she will be off of suicide watch. She is still not allowed to be alone. Either me, Penny or Jack go with her. Linda has been busy with her bakery and helping around the pack.

"Want to play some pool like old times?" I ask her. She always argues because I let her win the last round. "Only if you promise not to let me win."

"Who says I let you win?" I just like having this little argument with her. She gets a little feisty in it. "I do and you know you do."

"I can't make any promises. What if you actually did beat me fare and square would you believe it then?" I ask her. I don't think she would. "I would because you always get this goofy look on your face when you let me win."

"I don't get a goofy face. What goofy face." I say. "Yes you do. It's all like this. Its almost like you enjoy arguing with me." She mimicks my face. It was cute.

"Maybe I do. You get a little more aggressive when you argue." The thing is though if it were anyone else I'd have a problem with it. I don't do disrespect. I'm the Alpha now Alpha King here. I won't tolerate it. I wouldn't even with Cat. With Haven it is different. She has been the only one I have allowed to be this way around me. I be around her. Its why everyone say that I'm nicer to her than even my own mate. Haven is special.

"No I don't." She pushes me. Oh yeah that wasn't aggressive at all. Note the sarcasm. "And you say you don't. Your the one who just pushed me." I say amused.

"Let's just go ugh." She stomps off. I chuckle following her to the game room. "Hey I have an idea who ever wins gets to steal a kiss." I say. I grab the pool sticks and hand her one.

"Thats definitely cheating. You win every time. Even with the one you LET me win you still win the entire thing." She argues. "You never know today might be your lucky day."

"I doubt that. You just want to kiss me. I honestly don't know why you want that as a prize when you can just come over here an get one." She mumbled the last part under her breath but I still heard. "Oh can I maybe I will have to come up with a new prize then."

"Will you just rack them already." She says annoyed poking me with her stick. "Thats a good prize. Poke her with our stick." Ash comments. "Ash we can't. That last time was all in the moment. I can't just go at her like that."

She's still uncomfortable with that stuff. Believe me I would love to have a taste of her again but I force that on her. That is her choice.

We play like we normally do. Of course I let her win the third round. I won the match. "See you did it again. Lucky my ass." She starts her arguing.

"Your just a sore winner slash loser." I argue. "See there's that goofy look again." She snaps a photo of me with her phone showing me my face.

I laugh at her. "Are you happy now? You have proof of this apparent face."

"Ugh. I wish I had a bunch of those flying monkeys from the wizard of oz to get you." She crosses her arms. I laugh hard. Flying monkeys. She always did want one.

"So you want to be the wicked witch. Gross your skin would be all green then. You'd be evil." I counter. "Gross no. I just want the monkeys."

"You know I believe I'm owed my prize." I walk towards her. "And I already told you that isn't a prize and I'm not kissing you." She's mad now.

I smirk. "Oh really? Well I did say steal didn't i?" Her eyes widen and she starts to back away. Doesn't she know that just makes it worse.

I stalk towards her slowly. Her back hits the wall. Her breathing starts to become erratic to short pants. Her face turns to panick. Damn it.

I stop. She's having a panick attack. Her eyes open and close. I gently ever so slowly place my hands on her arms. "Haven you are safe. Look at me in the eyes. Your ok"

"No. No. No. Go away." She cries. "Hey Haven it's just me. No one is going to hurt you." I coax again.

"Stop. Please stop. Someone help please." She cries. She's not here. She's there. I pick her up and sit on the couch cradling her like a baby rocking her.

This is my fault. Damn i should have known. I triggered this. I hurt my baby. "Baby I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Please come back to me."

Her arms come up and wrap around my neck. "Make it stop." She cries. "Make what stop?"

"I don't feel this anymore. I hate feeling there hands all over me all the time." She confesses crying. She still feels their touch on her.

"Haven no one is ever going to touch you again. I promise they will never touch you again." I promise her. I can't stand that she still feels like this. She still has their touch on her and it has never went away.

"I feel so dirty and gross." She sobs holding on to me tighter. I can't take it. I get up still holding her and go to my room. I'm going to take their touch away from her. I will replace it with mine. She will only ever feel my touch again.

I sit her on top of the dresser. I grab a cold wet wash rag and wipe her face of all the tears. She's still crying but its calming down now. I kiss the top of her head lovingly. I can't have my baby like this any longer.

"Haven baby i can take their touch away if you just let me." I tell her. She sobs softly a few times. "Ok." She speaks in a whisper looking down. I lift her up and lay her in the middle of the bed. I hover over her and my lips connect with hers.