Chapter 170 Rage

Chapter 170 Rage
~Teyana’s POV~

I had noticed it long before I admitted it to myself. John had stopped coming as often to the hospital to visit my mother.

At first, I told myself I was being unfair, that men like him- men who carried companies- underground duties on their backs and countries in their contacts, measured love differently. But hospitals have a way of stripping excuses bare. 

You start noticing patterns when you spend every day staring at the same walls like I had for sometime now in my mother’s ward. 

My mother noticed too. She never said it outright, but she asked about him in ways that pretended not to ask.

“Were you in the house today? Did John eat today?”
“Did he mention if he’s traveling again?”
“Tell him not to rush. I’ll be fine.”

She was never fine.

And now, because I would need days of rest after the abortion- days where I wouldn’t be able to move without folding in on myself- someone else had to take my place beside her hospital bed. Aunt Kelly had flown back to London for urgent work calls, which meant the responsibility should have fallen naturally on John.

‘Should have.’

I kept telling myself I’d talk to him. That I’d choose the right moment. That I wouldn’t sound accusing or emotional or like the girl who had already lost too much ground to stand on.

But the right moment never came. 

Instead, I found myself in a mall that smelled like money and December, walking beside Carol while my insides twisted so tightly I thought I might scream. We were supposed to be getting on with the abortion. The kits were here, but Carol just had to come and do some Christmas shoppings after we left a private pharmacy store we discovered online.

Carol had never done abortion before- according to her, she had never even been pregnant before. But she knew a lot about these things because she had learnt about them ahead- just incase.

I trusted her anyway.

The mall was massive, all glass ceilings and polished floors that reflected designer lights and slow-moving wealthy people. It was the kind of mall where everything sparkled, even exhaustion. Carol loved shopping at expensive places. She had the money, and she was they type who hated to be found in average places for image-sake. Typical Carol. Still wouldn’t love her less.

Carol had been shopping for what felt like hours. Though it had only been minutes.

She moved from sections to sections with the seriousness of a woman on a mission, arms already heavy with bags, lips pursed as she checked lists on her phone. Meanwhile, every minute that passed felt like a personal insult to my body.

“When will you be done, Carol?” I asked, unable to keep the edge out of my voice.

She looked at me, guilt flickering across her face before she sighed. “I know. I’m sorry, T. I really am. But I have to get all of this. You know my family. If I don’t do it, nothing gets done. They’re all busy being important.” She rolled her eyes. 

I nodded, staring down at the gray hoodie I had on, as if to be sure that my pregnancy wasn’t noticeable through it. I had only just discovered about the little life in me three days ago. But every moment with it felt like it was written on my forehead. I just had to get rid of it soon. Today.

I was tired of waiting.
Tired of postponing pain like it would somehow hurt less later.
Tired of feeling like my entire life on pause while everyone else kept moving.

“I’ll be quick,” she promised. “Just one more thing.”

I barely heard her.

Because that was when I saw them.

At first, it didn’t register properly. My brain refused to accept it, like when you stare at a word for too long and it stops making sense. John, my stepfather a.k.a my mother’s husband, stood near a jewelry counter, dressed effortlessly as always, expensive coat, relaxed posture, the kind of man who looked like he belonged anywhere simply by existing there.

Beside him was Mariah. Zayne’s mother of course. My stomach churned. I didn’t know how to feel about seeing them together.

They were laughing softly, heads inclined toward each other in a way that felt intimate even from across the space. And then- so casually, so carelessly- John leaned in and kissed her cheek.

Mariah smiled. Actually smiled. The kind that bloomed, like she was pleased, also familiar with it. Like this wasn’t wrong. Like my mother wasn’t in the hospital bed dying. I thought his history with Mariah was over.

The air left my lungs.

My mother was dying in a hospital bed, coughing blood into serviettes, her body shrinking day by day, and John was here, shopping and kissing another woman like my mother didn’t exist. I didn’t care that he had a son with this woman at this point. My hormones had been raging all day, and this? This just escalated my nerves.

I didn’t think. I moved.

I heard Carol call my name from behind me, confusion rising in her voice, but I didn’t stop. I walked straight toward them, my steps consistent, my hands trembling at my sides.

I stopped right in front of them and cleared my throat.

John turned first. 

“Teyana,” he acknowledged, surprise flickering briefly across his face before he smoothed it away. “What are you doing here, darling?”

The calmness in his voice was annoying. 

I scoffed rudely. “No. What are you doing here?” My eyes flicked to Mariah. Her warm smile faded instantly.

“I should be the one asking that question,” I continued, my voice rising despite myself, “I mean, you shopping and kissing another woman while my mother is dying in the hospital bed. Do you get it?”

Mariah straightened. “You don’t want to do this here, Teyana.” She said coolly, looking around like she was scared of being embarassed.

John blinked like he couldn’t believe I was accusing him. “It’s not too late to apologize for your rudeness, or better still, act like you never came across us.”

My anger only deepened.

“I wish my ears were malfunctioning and you didn’t just say those, stepdad.” I snapped. “You never loved my mother.”

I had always known this. John didn’t love my mother. And I think she also knew it. 

He frowned. “I have been with your mother, cared for her like a husband should. Don’t test me, kid.”

I shook my head violently. “No. You haven’t. Not in the way she needs. Not the way you should when she’s dying!”

“Stop, Teyana.” Mariah whispered loudly amidst us. 

People were beginning to glance our way. I didn’t care.

“She is dying,” I shouted, the words tearing out of me. “And you’re here kissing… God, I can’t deal.” I was tired about everything at this point. I was pregnant for his son who I couldn’t be with, and couldn’t help but be angry that Jeremy might have also moved on with another girl while my own life was dividing into pieces right now.  

My mother. She was losing her life. God. 

Carol reached us then, gripping my arm. “Teyana,” she whispered urgently. “You’re making a scene.”

I pulled away from her. “Good. Maybe someone should.”

Mariah spoke again, “Come on kid,you’re acting like you caught us doing something obscene.”

I turned on her, fury burning hot behind my eyes. “You don’t get to decide what obscene is when my mother is wasting away and your manfriend isn’t acting like it.”

John exhaled slowly, like he was about to assert control. “Teyana, look at me.”

I did. Still angry, and fuming.

“There has always been Mariah,” he said quietly. “Before your mother. Before Jeremy’s mother. You know that- your mother does as well.

The words landed like a slap on my face. He wasn’t even trying to justify it. 

My chest heaved. “I don’t care what came before. I care about now. You are her husband. You are supposed to be there. Maybe pretend to be till her last day!” The thought of my mother taking her last breath sometime soon only broke me all over again.

Carol tugged at me again, her lips forming silent pleas. ‘Stop. Please.’

But I couldn’t.

“I know that the only thing protecting my place in your world right now is the fact that she’s still breathing. I can’t…I can’t even count on you when she’s gone.”

Mariah’s face softened, “Darling, You’re just emotional.”

I laughed. “You’re right. I am.”

I took a last look at the both of them- then turned and walked away.

I didn’t wait to see if Carol followed.

I waited for her in my car outside, my chest heaving- the abortion kits dropped in between the passenger and the driver’s seat. 

Carol didn’t come out. I called her. Her phone rang-but my call was waiting. When she finally picked, she sounded like she was mid panic.

“Teyan…please wait. I still…I have to get more things.”

Instincts kicked into me right on that spot. Was Carol trying to stall me from doing the abortion? “She had been shopping unecessarily too. Like she was waiting for something or someone.

When I didn’t say anything to the phone, she continued. “Please, Teyana. You should wait. Don’t do anything alone.”

I hung up. I was right. I didn’t know her plan, but I had a feeling Carol was hesitating for a reason. I wouldn’t wait to find out why.

But I had a feeling that she’s told someone about it? Fear punctured my heart.

By the time I got home, my rage had cooled, but my decision hadn’t changed. I pulled the abortion kit from the bag.

I sat on the edge of my bed and stared at it.

I thought of my mother, fragile and fading.
I thought of John’s calm eyes as he chose convenience over compassion.

I thought of how easily women were replaced in men’s world.

The fear shifted.

My fingers curled around the kit.

It was now or never.

Because something inside me whispered that if I didn’t act immediately, if I let this moment pass, someone would stop me. My phone kept ringing. Carol was calling. I didn’t pick. Another number that I wasn’t familiar with started calling too. I was very curious to know who, but I had a bad feeling about it.

That someone was going to stop me. So I didn’t wait.

Sorry to disappoint them.