Chapter 33 - A Friend, Not an Enemy

"Ey? Don't tease me," he said as he was trying not to burst in laughter. There was something on his face that I could not explain....maybe he was blushing.

"I'm not teasing you. It's just that smiling fits you well." I lifted my sight on the surrounding to avoid seeing his face. It was hard to just stare at his angelic face.

"Well, thanks for the compliment. Some students are saying that I'm the “Smiling Hunk of Corto University,” but I don't believe it HAHA." His laughs were not so manly; it was more of a corny laugh. "I don't want to claim anything that is not really I am."

"But you can take it as a compliment." I knew that I was not in the right place to give my words about it, but it felt that I could speak out and freed the unspoken thoughts that were ravaging my mind. "Lucky you are because you get compliments. You should be thankful for that. We're different. Instead of compliments, I get insults. It's killing me every time I remember how people tell me how pathetic I am. How I remember that..." I could not help it, so I stopped. I could not tell him. The feeling of uncertainty suddenly interrupted and that made me think twice. Why was it so hard for me to finally open up?

"Sorry." Why was I felt the sincerity in his voice? The voice was shouting peace and without any stain of pretense. But he should not be sorry in the first place. There was nothing to be sorry about.

"Don't be sorry. You're not one of them. I hope you're not one of them," I uttered, direct to the point. I was not putting out the thought that maybe he was just coming near me because he was a spy or someone who also wanted me to cry a river. That maybe he was one of those who wanted my last days in college to be more unforgettable.

I chose to stare. "I'm not," he said. I saw how he gave me an assurance through his friendly smiles as our eyes met.

I could not help but to form a smile on my lips. "Thank you."

"Kaede?" he said as while I was trying to find something inside my bag.

"Huh?"

He just looked at me, seemed like he was waiting for the words to come out from my mouth. "What is it that you like to say?" I just had the urge to break the silence since it felt like he was not going to say a word unless I would ask for it. Plus, I was also curious about what he wanted to say. Feed my curiosity or my curiosity would kill me.

"Kaede...If there's something I can do for you, just tell me. I'm a friend and not an enemy. I know that it's hard for you to trust me because of your undesirable experiences but please, don't build a wall. Don't build a wall that even me can't break. Don't hinder yourself from having friends. Not all people are like those who are telling you that you're pathetic, not all people are rude, and you're not alone." He stopped, as if he were thinking of the next words that he would say.

I was just listening without looking at him. I did not want to see his facial expressions while he was uttering those words. "Sorry to tell this..." he continued. Sorry? Sorry for what? I failed myself because I stared at him, I could not help it. I needed to see his face and reactions because it felt like he was going to say something important. "Sorry but I need to tell you that you're being unfair to the people who want to know you or to be your friend—"

"Sounds like..." I suddenly stopped when I realized that I had voiced out my thoughts. Dimwit! "Sorry for interrupting. Just continue," I immediately said to him, shame on me. The stars could curse me for my unforgivable recklessness. But could you blame me for I just remembered something? The thought of Zen's friendship knocked my soul and it made me ask myself if I had done the right thing.

"You're wrong if you're thinking that no one wants you to be his or her friend, you're wrong if you're thinking that most people will just hurt you, and you're wrong if you’re thinking that you're unwanted. Don't be so harsh to yourself. Having a friend is priceless. You just need to open your mind that you need a friend and that people need you as a friend. They need someone like you. You're a worthy person, Kaede." Hearing those words and staring at his face just made me answer him in my mind. He just did not know how much I was trying to open myself to people. It was not easy as pie. I was suffering inside and that was something that people would not understand. Only me could understand myself.

I just smiled at him and thought that he was done.

That was the first time that I engaged myself for a talk to a man I just met. It was a long time ago since I had a talk with my childhood friend who was a guy, that was when I was still a kid. When I left him, I promised to myself that he would be my only guy friend. That I would not entertain any guy friend in my entire existence on earth. But the case changed because I already let Draco be my friend.

"But I know that I should understand you. I know that it's hard for you. Just don't forget that I'm here. I'm willing to listen and be a friend. I'm your friend, Kaede."

"Thanks for letting me know your thoughts about me," I said and smiled at him. I did not need to explain myself. It was enough that I heard those words from him. I understood his sentiments.

A smile was formed on his lips before he said, "Welcome."

His smiles were like rewards to me. It felt like I was so lucky that I had witnessed those smiles hand to hand.

"C-can you do me a favor, D-Draco?"