Sixty Four

Sixty Four
Lyra

The ground had somehow gotten soft during the course of the night. The warmth that embraced me last night too was no longer there. Breeze came in through the window and it made me feel a bit chilly. I stretched out my hand tapping on the bed looking for the one who slept beside me—nothing but an empty cold sheet. I immediately rose from the bed. Panic in my soul.

I forced my eyes open ignoring the dull ache behind my skull. Kael. I looked around in panic but he was nowhere in the room. In haste I rushed for the bathroom hoping he was there but nothing.

“Kael?” I called out. No answer.

I looked out the window and saw that it was still dark outside. Shit. Where had he gone? Did Anna take him? Shit.

I reached for the door as quickly as I could. With nowhere in mind to check first I roamed the halls. Everyone was pretty much asleep. Even the guards I passed were fast asleep on their feet. I should check Anna’s room first. Noo. He can’t be there.

“The clinic” I muttered finally remembering that that was a place he definitely would be at.

Turning towards the other direction. Barefoot I ran for the clinic. “Please be there” I muttered.

Whatever I was feeling was beyond desperation. My wolf couldn’t settle, nor could I. Was it separation anxiety? I wouldn’t know cause I had never experienced such a thing before. My throat was closing up with fear. Why? Why was I feeling this anxious? Is it possible that I also don’t think they were safe here? “Please let him be-“

I paused. There he was. Kneeling beside his brother’s bed. And he was not alone. Anna.

I stood behind the door watching from the window contemplating on wether to go in or not. I could hear their whispers but not their actual words. I really wanted to listen.

‘You can’ Ria said and I frowned.

‘We could?’ I spoke with my inner thoughts. I found out she could also hear my inner thoughts and to be honest it was more convenient speaking to her like this. Our own little world.

‘I think so. Been a while I tested that out’ she replied brushing minds with me as a way of reassuring me she was with me and I wasn’t imagining her.

‘Try please.’ I shouldn’t be trying to listen in but there was something that bothered me. Not particularly with Kael but with Kade. I still couldn’t tell how he would react. I mean she was Anna. I looked at her. My Kade once loved her. And she loved him. The problem now was whether they still felt that way about each other. I don’t want to believe Kade still had any feelings for her seeing as how angry just looking like her made him.

But what if. That thought wouldn't leave my head because where would that leave me? My fear rose into full-blown panic that I started heaving trying to breathe from my nose and mouth all at the same time.

I couldn’t breathe. I thought as panic rose even further. My hands stretched out trying to claw at anything that could help me. ‘Breathe lyria’ I heard Lyria yell but I couldn’t.

I didn’t want to die like this. If I did Anna will either kill or take my mates. And no. They were mine! I was definitely not going to die. I said in my head as I balled up my fist and hit my chest. One. Two. Hit. One. Two. Hit.

I don’t know if it was my sobbing or my heaving that drew their attention because the next thing I knew I was lifted off the ground. I didn’t even know I was on the ground.

“Lyria?” I heard Kael yelling my name.

Shhhh, you’re going to wake everyone up. I wanted to say but the words wouldn’t come out. This was a full-blown panic attack. I have had one before but it was never this severe. The thought of losing Kade back to his first love didn’t sit well with me. Would Kael leave me too?

Tears streamed down my face as I tried to grab Kael’s face. “D-don’t l-l-leave m-me” I managed to say before finally losing focus. Everything went blank.

—————

“Ugh,” I squeezed my eyes from the pain gnawing its way into my skull at the back of my head.

“Are you okay?” Anna.

I opened my eyes slowly. Confused at first as to why she was asking if I was okay. Three. Two. One. It hit me. Standing outside the door and having a panic attack all came rushing back to me. Shit.

I sat upright and looked around the room. “Hey careful” Anna held my shoulder trying to keep me upright.

I squeezed my eyes shut again due to the pain. It was dull now but still there.

“What happened?” I asked frowning. Why wasn’t Kael here? I wanted to ask but decided not to.

“You don’t remember? We found you outside the clinic door. You were having a panic attack” I knew that.

“I meant how did I get here?” I couldn’t look into her eyes. Guilt ate at me. Her voice sounded worried her eyes would be too.

“Kael carried you. You’re inside the clinic. He went with the healer to get something for you. He would be here soon” she said patting my back and I nodded my head.

I wanted to ask her if she still loved Kade. It was at the tip of my tongue but I couldn’t. Maybe not yet. We still had a lot of unsettled matters. Bringing up this one would only make it worse. Lies. Truth is I was too afraid to hear the answer. What if she said yes? What do I do then?

“I am sorry” she muttered softly.

“What for?” I asked.

“For putting you through so much stress. This is all my fault. I went to check on Kade and I saw Kael. I was trying to explain something to him but he wouldn’t listen. If you want to leave you should. I won’t stop you” What?