Chapter 30 — Sebastian

Sebastian wouldn’t run. He couldn’t. It wasn’t because Douglas had tracked him down, but because his heart forbade it. There would be no more secrets, no more half-truths and lies by omission. There would be no more worry, no more wondering if he wasn’t good enough, or if Douglas was interested in him for the wrong reasons.

All there would be was love.

“I’m sorry for what I did,” Sebastian murmured. He closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of Douglas’ palm against his cheek. “I’m sorry that I put you through this—that I put us through this.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. You’re coming from a different place in life, and I know that if I want to make this work, I have to be respectful of it.” Douglas’ thumb traced small circles on Sebastian’s cheek. “We have obstacles to overcome that most couples don’t, but I’m ready to face them if you are.”

“I am.” Sebastian paused. The impact of Douglas’ declaration still shook in his bones and throbbed in his heart. “I love you, Douglas. I want us to fight for each other.”

Douglas leaned forward. Sebastian felt the couch shift, and then the soft touch of Douglas’ lips to his forehead. Between them, Ian cooed and squirmed.

“Then we both know what we want.” Douglas spoke the words against Sebastian’s forehead. “Will you come home with me, Sebastian? I don’t want this to be the end.”

The tears Sebastian had fought so valiantly against welled up, but he didn’t shed them. Instead, he shifted Ian so he could support him with one arm, then wrapped the other loosely over Douglas’ shoulders. The proximity melted the ice in his heart, and the gestures Douglas made promised that Douglas wasn’t lying.

A man who didn’t want him wouldn’t come looking for him. He wouldn’t make the declarations Douglas had.

What Douglas felt for him was true, and what Sebastian felt for him in return burned stronger than ever.

“Let’s go home,” Sebastian whispered. “I’m ready. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

They said their quiet goodbyes to Gabriel, who gave Sebastian a parting glance that said they’d talk later about what had just gone on. Douglas led the way down the stairs and held the front door open for Sebastian and Ian. Outside, Sebastian strapped Ian into his car seat and made sure the seat was firmly locked into position.

He took his space in the passenger’s seat and smiled as Douglas sat beside him.

Passion burned between them, hot, but kept under control by the responsibilities of parenthood. With Ian in the back, cooing and engaging with them, Sebastian’s sole focus wasn’t on Douglas.

They were a trio, and they would always be.

While Douglas drove, Sebastian looked over the back of his seat to make eye contact with Ian. Ian didn’t have a long attention span, but he loved to be watched, and he laughed when Sebastian caught his eye. It was a sound Sebastian would never forget.

A half hour later, they arrived at the McAlpern house. Sebastian shouldered the diaper bag out of habit while Douglas unlatched the car seat from where it was anchored. He carried Ian into the house while Sebastian followed behind. It wasn’t the kind of heartfelt homecoming Sebastian associated with reconciliation, but it was what was right for them and their little family.

“I’m going to put him in his crib. Do you think you can meet me upstairs?” Douglas asked.

“Of course.” Sebastian wouldn’t have it any other way. He followed Douglas upstairs and split ways from him at the landing. While Douglas went into the nursery to put Ian down, Sebastian went into Douglas’ bedroom and sat on the side of his bed. He took his shoes off one by one, then his socks, and fanned his toes. He had his arms crossed and his hands on the bottom of his t-shirt, ready to strip it off and change into something different, when Douglas entered the room.

“Don’t let me stop you.” Douglas closed the door. He crossed the room to stand in front of Sebastian. “Whether you did it or I did it, it was going to come off anyway.”

Sebastian grinned. He stretched out his torso by straightening his back, then shifted his hips from side to side as he slowly lifted the shirt up his chest and over his head. He knew how to best hold himself to amplify his natural beauty, and by the way Douglas sucked in a breath, he’d hit all the right notes.

Sebastian tossed the shirt to the floor, then lifted his chin and looked at Douglas from beneath his lashes. “You were going to strip me?”

“After what you just did, I think I’d rather you strip yourself.”

Sebastian’s grin grew. He rose from the bed, channeling the confidence Douglas had instilled in him to chase away the lingering sorrow in his soul. When he was on two feet, he took both of Douglas’ hands and guided him to the bed. When Douglas was seated, Sebastian began.

He didn’t know what he was doing—not really. He knew about his angles and how best to hold himself, but he’d never put on a strip tease before. This new, unchartered territory was foreign to him, but exciting.

Knowing that Douglas loved him gave him the confidence he needed to push onward.

His hands left Douglas’. He took a small step back, then lifted his arms above his head and crossed them at the wrists, stretching himself out for Douglas’ viewing pleasure. Sebastian had always been skinny and pale, and when he was younger, he hated how different it made him from other boys his age. Now, he embraced his differences.

One hand slid down the opposite arm, his fingers brushing against the delicate skin there until he reached the top of his head. His fingers combed through his hair, and Sebastian tilted his chin upward in a show of ecstasy over his own touch. His second arm lowered, following the first, and while his first hand slipped down to caress the line of his jaw and stoke his neck, the other stayed in his hair.

In his mind’s eye, he imagined himself. Long, lean, and caressing his own body, he had to be a sight. Hair aglow in the morning sun, fingers brushing over his collarbone, then grazing his nipple…

Sebastian shivered. He parted his lips in genuine pleasure.

Douglas gave him confidence he’d never had before. It was amazing what a little love could do.

His fingers wandered lower. While one hand bunched in his hair one moment and caressed the next, his other explored the tight length of his chest and the tenderness of his stomach. It wasn’t until those fingers met the button of Sebastian’s fly that he lowered his head and let his eyes lock with Douglas’.

Douglas was enraptured.

The look in his eyes, glossy and utterly aroused, was something Sebastian had never seen before. His pupils were blown out with lust, and his lips were parted in silent admiration. Encouraged by how Douglas looked, Sebastian worked open the button of his fly, then slowly pulled down the zipper beneath. The simple navy blue boxer-briefs he wore appeared, put under strain by the rigidity of his semi.

He shifted his hips, and his jeans sagged.

“Holy fuck,” Douglas uttered. It was breathless and sinful in all the right ways, and Sebastian’s heart swelled alongside his confidence. “I… God, you look so good.”

Sebastian brought his second hand down, and with both hands he pushed his jeans down his thighs. They fell, pooling around his feet, but he didn’t give them a second glance. Wearing nothing but his boxers, he stepped up to Douglas, then planted a knee on the bed beside Douglas’ thigh and undid the first button of Douglas’ shirt.

Then the next.

Douglas looked up into his eyes, and Sebastian returned his gaze. His fingers worked by touch, parting each button they came across until Douglas’ shirt was open. When there was nothing left to undo, Sebastian guided the shirt down Douglas’ shoulders, then tossed it to the floor.

With a single hand planted upon Douglas’ chest, he pushed him onto the bed.

“I want you,” Sebastian uttered. The words were quiet, but he was sure Douglas heard each syllable. “Do you want me, too?”

“Yes.” There was no pause for reflection. Douglas spoke with sincerity. “God, yes.”

Sebastian climbed onto the bed, straddling Douglas’ waist. His hands found the fly of Douglas’ pants. He undid it, then let his hand brush against Douglas’ erection.

Douglas was hard for him, and knowing it made Sebastian want him even more.

Sebastian leaned over. He captured Douglas’ lips in a kiss so scorching, it surprised even himself. When it broke, Douglas was left panting, and Sebastian was left with a need that could only be filled by Douglas’ body.

He straightened his back and guided his hands beneath the elastic of his boxer-briefs, then lowered them to expose the glossy head of his cock and the shaft beneath it.

Douglas moaned. “Fuck, Sebastian…”

Sebastian looked down at him, lifting himself to help his underwear down his thighs. One leg at a time, he guided them off until he was bare.

“I did what you asked,” Sebastian whispered, letting each word curl with humor. “Now it’s your turn to do what I ask. I want you to finish getting undressed, and then I want you to show me how much you want me.”

He climbed off Douglas and crawled across the bed, settling on his chest so his head rested amongst the pillows. Sebastian curled his arms and wiggled his hips again, well aware that Douglas was watching his ass.

Sebastian left nothing to the imagination. He wore his wants plainly.

The bed shifted as Douglas rapidly moved to do as he was instructed. Sebastian grinned as he listened, but he didn’t allow himself to watch. He let his other senses guide him.

He heard Douglas’ pants and boxer-briefs hit the floor just as well as he heard the rapid intake of Douglas’ breath. He felt the bed shift again as Douglas climbed back on, nude, to wedge a leg between his thighs. He breathed in the fragrance of Douglas’ cologne as Douglas leaned down to pepper kisses onto the back of his head.

Everything was so good—better than Sebastian could have imagined. When he’d come into the McAlpern home, he thought life was giving him steady, but temporary, employment. What he’d found instead was a home, a family, and someone to love.

Douglas was kind, patient, and caring. They came from different worlds and were at different points in their lives, but those were small obstacles to be overcome—and with Douglas there to help him, Sebastian was sure they could overcome them together.

“I love you,” Douglas whispered against the back of Sebastian’s head. Sebastian barely heard the bedside table drawer slide open, or the click of the cap of lube. “I’m so glad you came home.”

“I’m glad, too,” Sebastian said. And he was.

He’d found where he belonged. He’d never stray again.