Chapter 21 — Douglas

Sebastian didn’t act the same way anymore. He didn’t text when he was out to let Douglas know what his plans were, and he didn’t try to engage in conversation with him besides polite, meaningless hellos when their paths crossed in the house. On the morning of Douglas’ birthday, Sebastian wished him happiness, then disappeared for the rest of the day.

Douglas attended dinner at a restaurant of his mother’s choosing with Ian, but the entire time he was out, he couldn’t escape the thought of Sebastian and the haunted look in his eyes.

By the time Monday rolled around, Douglas was in a worse state than he had been before the weekend. He endured by hiding himself away and burying his nose in his work. Despite the new executives on the team, there was more than enough of it to go around. The longer they stayed, the worse things became, and Douglas was the one to catch the fallout.

He avoided Kenneth, but it was impossible to hear the rumors about his temper. It was getting worse instead of better. If something didn’t change soon, Douglas knew he’d boil over.

That wouldn’t be good for anyone.

Between the chaos that was work and the dreariness that was his home life, Douglas didn’t have much energy to work with. When he got home, he ate a quick dinner, then retired to his room, getting up only to tend to Ian.

There was no more enjoyment.

How strange it was that one young man could have such a profound impact on his life.

On Tuesday, Douglas got up early to find Sebastian in the kitchen. He was washing a frying pan. The kitchen smelled like bacon, but the oven was off, and Douglas didn’t need to check it to know that Sebastian hadn’t made a meal for him.

It stung.

Sebastian wasn’t a housekeeper. His only job was to take care of Ian. But in the time since he’d started, he’d taken on a pivotal role in the household that Douglas now sorely missed.

“Good morning.” Douglas made his way to the fridge. Without anything already cooked and ready to go, he’d have to fall back on his old breakfast—a protein shake.

“Morning,” Sebastian mumbled. “Ian and I are going out today.”

“To yoga?”

“Later. But we’re going out before that.” Sebastian finished washing the pan. He set it to dry. “Probably won’t be checking my phone much, so don’t freak out if I don’t get back to you right away.”

Douglas wished he had the strength to make things right. He knew that he was to blame, but he was so drained by stress at the workplace that he couldn’t devote any energy into improving his home situation. It felt helpless.

“Thanks for letting me know.” Douglas took the milk from the fridge and set it on the counter. There were a few travel mugs in the cabinet, and he selected one of the larger ones. He took the protein powder from the shelf in the pantry, then measured a level scoop and dumped it into the mug. “Groceries?”

“No. We’re going for those tomorrow.”

Sebastian didn’t offer any explanation as to what he was doing, so Douglas let the topic die. He poured milk over the protein powder.

“Is there anything you need while I’m out?” Sebastian asked. “We’ll be around civilization—malls, businesses, regular downtown venues—so if you want something, I can pick it up without much hassle.”

“No.”

I only want to see you smile.

“Okay.” Sebastian stretched. “I’ve got the baby monitor. Ian was still sleeping when I went to check on him before. I’m going to shower. You’ll probably be gone by the time I’m done. Have a good day.”

The short, uninspired sentences Sebastian used cut Douglas right to the core. Rattled, he let Sebastian leave the kitchen and disappear upstairs.

How could things get any worse?

Bitter toward himself and his own inactions, Douglas screwed the cap on his travel mug and shook his protein shake up. When he was sure it was mixed, he set it on the counter and went to get his briefcase.

Another stressful day at the office would lead to another uncomfortable night at home. There was no end to his suffering.

Something had to change. If only Douglas knew where to start.

Kenneth appeared in Douglas’ office door. Shoulders broad, back too straight to be comfortable, and face red, he didn’t need to say a word for Douglas to recognize what state of mind he was in.

Kenneth hadn’t come to chat.

“Nice to see you in your office for once, McAlpern.”

“I didn’t realize that you’d been looking for me.” Douglas steeled himself for a hard conversation. The tone of Kenneth’s voice left nothing to be imagined. Harsh words were about to be exchanged. “Next time, if you come around while I’m out of the office, send me an email. I’ll get back to you, or if I can’t, we can schedule a time to meet.”

Kenneth hoisted a stack of documents from beneath his arm. He crossed the room and dropped them on the corner of Douglas’ desk. Douglas looked from Kenneth to the documents, then back at Kenneth again.

Time hadn’t changed his cousin. Kenneth’s body had matured, but his looks stayed the same. Short, dark hair. Narrowed blue eyes. A nose that was too slender for his face, and lips that were a little too large. He wasn’t an unattractive man, but the constant emotional constipation and bouts of anger twisted what could have been unusual beauty into something ugly.

Or maybe it was all perception, and Douglas was so sick of his bullshit that he was distorting Kenneth’s face.

“You were hired to do a job, and I expect you to do it.” Kenneth’s voice was level, but it was supplemented by frost that would have made Douglas wilt had he not already braced himself. “Your job isn’t to be away from your desk for extended periods of time.”

Kenneth would not intimidate him. Douglas was so tired of the bullying and the general, stressful environment that he didn’t care what Kenneth thought. He would not admit any guilt.

“My job is multi-faceted, and at times it requires that I be away from my desk. There are meetings to attend, people to track down, questions to ask, and you know what? Sometimes I like to take lunch. That’s not a crime.”

Kenneth’s face turned redder yet. There were open pores across his nose that Douglas had never noticed before. “When it means that the work keeps piling up, it does. You have a responsibility to be at your desk. You have a responsibility to the team to get your work done.”

While it was true, what Kenneth wasn’t mentioning was that Douglas worked harder than any of the new hires they’d brought on. He’d seen their workflow and he’d followed their progress. No one matched the hours Douglas put in. No one cared enough to do it.

“So what you’re telling me is that showing up early and going home late doesn’t count for anything?” Douglas’ face hardened. The stress from his professional and personal life collided and darkened his tone. “I’ve been putting all my energy into trying to make this work—into trying to fix the mistakes that your new ‘team’ has foisted on us. You want to know why our quarterly projections aren’t looking good? It’s because in the three months I was away, this place was driven into the ground by inexperience and incompetence. I’ve been giving it my all to get us back on track, but when I get swamped with work like this? When I get dragged across the coals because of something I didn’t do? It stops me from making progress.”

Kenneth was his cousin, but he was also his boss. Douglas knew he was putting his foot in his mouth, but he couldn’t help himself. He didn’t have an outlet. His frustrations and disappointment over the situation with Sebastian came to a head.

“Is that the game you want to play, McAlpern?” Kenneth demanded. His eyes narrowed into slits, the embers of rage in his eyes scorching Douglas. “You want to blame everyone else for the things you did? Fine. Then let me retaliate.”

Douglas almost cut in, but he reeled himself back. It wasn’t going to do him any good if he tore Kenneth apart. He needed to wait until Kenneth was done speaking before he replied.

“When you decided to start your little family, you knew that you were going to be taking time off. You knew that there would be someone filling your space. And you know what? If that pisses you off, that’s your own fault. You went into this knowing that while you played house, another competent executive would be taking control. Just because our new business model doesn’t match what you envisioned for the company doesn’t make it any less valid—it just means that it’s time to pull your head out of your ass and get with the times.”

Douglas couldn’t speak. His tongue wanted to lash out and score Kenneth, but his anger scattered his rational thoughts and forced him to focus on his emotions.

“And you know what?” Kenneth asked. He set his palms on Douglas’ desk and leaned down until they were almost nose to nose. “You’ve always had to have things your way. It’s always been about what you wanted. You refused to look at other solutions because it didn’t fit your precise little mold. That’s not going to fly anymore.”

“You’re full of shit,” Douglas hissed.

“Says the one whose world has been turned upside down because our business plans aren’t the same as when he left three months ago.” Kenneth left him no time to reply. “While you were busy starting your little family and playing pretend at a happily ever after, we were here working. Growing. Leading. If you’re so stuck in your ways that you can’t grow with us, then maybe it’s time you left.”

The threat was there. Douglas knew he’d pushed too far, and that pushing any further would be a bad idea. He bit his tongue to keep from speaking, even when Kenneth smirked in a smug way that made Douglas want to slam his fist into his face.

“So work your long hours. Do the job that needs to be done. Do whatever it is you need to do to feel happy. If you don’t adjust and join us instead of resisting with everything you have, then maybe you aren’t the right fit for this company anymore.” Kenneth pushed back from the desk. He walked toward the door. “I need you to go over the files I dropped off and come up with a plan incorporating them into our current operations by the end of the day. I don’t care how late you need to stay.”

Douglas’ blood boiled. He saw red.

“Get it done.”

Kenneth slammed the office door at the same time as Douglas let out a bellow that tore through his throat.

Why the hell did it have to be like this? Every part of his life was falling to pieces at once, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Something had to give. He couldn’t keep living this way forever.

But he was afraid that the price he had to pay would be too steep to stomach.