Chapter 52 Girl Stuff

Chapter 52 Girl Stuff
ZAYN

I don't go home immediately after classes; instead, I drive straight to Maya's house.
I would've gotten my answers on campus if she'd bothered to show up today, but she didn't. And she wasn't at the bonfire either.
I'm done waiting for memories to crawl back into my head magically.
Fuck that.
They could take weeks. Months. And I don't have that kind of patience when this is serious and tearing everything apart.

By the third knock, the door finally opens.
Maya blinks at me, startled. She's dressed in yoga pants and a baggy hoodie, her brown hair packed up into a messy bun.
No red dye today. She must be feeling natural.
"Zayn?" She calls in surprise.
Unsmiling, I step inside without waiting for an invitation.
She closes the door behind me.
"We need to talk," I say, turning to face her.

She crosses her arms. "Okay…? We can sit in the…"
"No."
I pull my phone out and get straight to it.
Scrolling to the photos I'd collected from Ashleigh's phone, I turn the screen toward her. "Explain these," I say, my jaw ticking in anger.
I have to play it smart.
I don't know what really happened that night, but she doesn't need to be aware of that.
Though some people at school probably know about the selective amnesia by now, I refuse to let it show that what transpired that night is part of what I lost.
I act like I remember everything.

Maya's face changes, growing pale.
She lets out a short, nervous laugh. "Oh."
"Explain." I grit out again. "Explain why you fucking sent these to my sister."
She sighs dramatically, like I'm being unreasonable. "Fine. God, you're intense."
She walks over to the couch in the living room and drops onto it.
I follow her.
"So what? I sent them months ago."
"Doesn't fucking matter. I'm waiting for an explanation."
Maya rolls her eyes. "I was bored," she says simply. "So I took pictures of your passed-out, drunk ass after I rescued you from the bar and cleaned you up."

"And then you decided to make her think we fucked." My voice is dangerously low.
She shrugs. "I did it for fun. Thought it'd be hilarious to mess with her a little. She's always acted like she's better than me, like you were hers to keep on a leash. So yeah, I sent them. Nothing personal."
The relief that passes through me is inexplicable, but I don't show it.
Maya gets up from the couch. "What's the big deal anyway? And why are you overreacting?" She pauses briefly. "I must've upset poor Ashleigh."

Maya inches closer to me "You're bringing this up because you just found out, didn't you. After all these months."
She smirks. "It was just petty revenge, Zayn. Girl stuff."
I stare at her, squeezing the phone tight.
Girl stuff.
The voice recorder in my pocket has been running since I walked through the door.
"You're lucky I'm not in the mood to sue your ass for distributing intimate images without consent," I say finally.
Her face pales. "Zayn, come on…"

I turn for the door. "Stay the fuck away from me. And stay the fuck away from Ashleigh. If I see you near our house again, I'll make sure everyone knows what kind of person you are."
I walk out without waiting for a response, slamming the door after me.
Throughout the drive home, I'm both relieved and upset because of the lack of trust Ashleigh had in me.

I pull into the driveway of my apartment, then kill the engine before stepping out of my car.
The lights in my room upstairs are on, meaning Ashleigh's there.
When I walk in, she's lying on the bed, reading a book.
"Hi," she says brightly. "Where'd you go after school today?"

I take out the mini voice recorder from my pocket and press play.
Maya's voice fills the quiet room, casually, carelessly confessing everything.
The smile on Ashleigh's face drops, and her hand flies to her mouth.
I watch her face the whole time, every mild flicker of shock, hurt, realisation, and then relief.
When the recording ends, a thick, suffocating silence falls.
I lower the phone.

"You were so quick to jump to conclusions that I did it." I begin, breaking the silence. "That I cheated on you. Me, of all people." I say, walking to the edge of the bed.
The assumption that I couldn't keep my dick in my pants for three months is both insulting and disappointing.
Ashleigh closes the book and doesn't meet my eyes. "It was kinda hard not to believe when I had pictures of you in her bed, half-naked," she mutters.
"Are you for real, right now?" I scoff, shaking my head slowly. "You didn't think Maya was capable of manipulating an innocent situation?"

"If I were caught with Ryan in that same position... if you saw pictures like that, would you have given me the benefit of the doubt? Or would you have lost your mind?" She lashes out.
"Yes!" I yell, before getting a hold of myself and then bringing my voice down. "Fuck yes. I'd be pissed. I'd be furious. But I'd let you explain. I'd hear you out."
I run a hand through my hair. "I'd give you a chance to tell me what the hell happened instead of assuming the worst and shutting you out. The fuck? You just straight-up erased me."

Ashleigh crosses her arms over her chest, but doesn't say anything.
"There were a lot of possibilities you didn't even consider. So yeah, I'm fucking hurt that you jumped straight to the conclusion that I'd ever choose anyone over you."
She gets out of bed but still doesn't look at me.
"I'm not saying I'm blameless here, I got drunk like a fool, and I understand that the pictures looked bad…"
"Yes, they looked bad." Ashleigh cuts in, turning to me, her eyes shining with tears.
I'm too angry for them to move me.
"So what was I supposed to think, seeing you that way with her? You know my anxiety…"

"Leave your anxiety out of this, Ash, you were supposed to talk to me!" I exclaim, in an almost broken tone. "I understand how you must've felt that night or the day before, but days? Weeks?" I scoff. "You're supposed to know me, Ash."
My chest burns with emotional pain. "You're supposed to go all, 'Explain yourself, asshole'"
I keep going, because I have to get it all out. Or else, keeping it locked in will cause more harm than good.
"I have amnesia, I still can't remember the details of that night," I continue, "But when you told me that I slept with Maya, what did I say?"

Ashleigh is quiet.
"What did I say, Ash?"
"You knew you didn't do it,'' she mutters.
"Yes. I knew it in my heart that I would never do such a thing."
She turns her back to me.
"You shut me out so bad," I say, my voice dropping to a whisper. "You made me feel so worthless; my brain chose to forget those parts."
My head dips as I once again remember the loneliness. The pain.
"And now I'm standing here wondering if what you had with Ryan in Melbourne was payback."