Chapter 165 Lilian Baker

Chapter 165 Lilian Baker
I didn't know what Andrew was trying to do.

If he'd stayed angry, I would've understood. If he'd ignored me for the rest of the trip, I would've understood that too. Even another lecture would've made sense.

But this?

This version of Andrew...

The one who admitted that he noticed I'd become distant. The one who wanted to make conversation. The one who almost said something before swallowing the words.

I didn't understand him anymore.

My mind kept replaying the conversation we'd just had.

"It's for our own good."

Our own good?

What did that even mean?

If there was something he wanted to say, why couldn't he just say it?

If he didn't want me close, why invite me on this trip?

If he wanted distance, why did he keep creating moments that pulled me closer?

I let out a quiet sigh and rested my head against the window.

After a few minutes, I glanced sideways at him.

He looked completely focused on the road. Both hands rested firmly on the steering wheel. His jaw was slightly tense.

He always looked like that when he was thinking too much.

For someone who constantly told everyone else to communicate better… He was terrible at communicating his own feelings.

The sky suddenly darkened.

I frowned.

A few moments ago, the evening had been bright. Now thick grey clouds stretched across the horizon.

The first drop of rain landed on the windshield.

Then another.

Then several more.

Andrew reached forward and switched on the windshield wipers. Almost immediately, they moved back and forth steadily.

"It's going to rain,” he said.

I nodded.

Within seconds, the drizzle became heavier.

The wipers sped up as water streaked across the glass faster than they could clear it.

My chest tightened immediately.

One thing I feared more than finding out Martha's relationship with Derek was driving in the rain.

I didn't know why but my mind wouldn't stop imagining things like our car crashing into another car and things like that.

I swallowed, trying to control myself. Trying to tell myself I was just imagining it.

But as the rain grew louder, my fear grew bigger.

As the heavy drop hammered against the roof of the car, flowing down to the windshield, visibility dropped.

I couldn't see anything aside from the overflowing water.

My fear grew rapidly.

What if a car was coming in front of us?

What if we hit someone because we couldn't see?

My fingers slowly curled around the edge of my seat.

Stop imagining things. It's just rain.

But many accidents happened in the rain.

The sky flashed briefly and loud thunder rolled in the distance.

My heartbeat stumbled and I quickly looked away from the windshield.

It didn't help.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Breathe,” I whispered to myself. "Breathe."

As I tried to control myself, the air suddenly felt heavier as if the car had become too confined.

My chest tightened because I couldn't pull in enough air.

"Andrew."

My voice came out far weaker than I intended.

"Hm?"

"Can..." I struggled for another breath. "...can you stop?"

He glanced at me briefly before looking back at the road.

"We're almost there."

I shook my head.

"No...Please… I need you to stop."

His attention was still on the road.

"We'll find somewhere safe in a minute."

"No,” my voice cracked.

The rain intensified and the windshield became almost completely white. Every drop echoed painfully inside my head.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't think.

The sound of the rain became louder than everything else, blocking my thoughts.

I grabbed the dashboard.

It wasn't enough.

My hands searched desperately for something stable.

Without thinking, I reached for Andrew.

My fingers wrapped tightly around his arm.

He immediately looked at me.

"Lily?"

I couldn't answer.

"Lily,” his voice changed instantly.

The calmness disappeared as concern replaced it.

He looked back at the road for barely a second before steering the car onto the side.

The tyres rolled onto the gravel as he stepped on the brake.

But the engine continued running.

"Lily,” he called as he turned fully toward me. "What happened?"

I tried to answer but nothing came out.

My vision blurred with tears I hadn't realised were forming.

"Lily, talk to me."

I shook my head.

I couldn't.

I honestly couldn't.

Words required breathing and breathing was the one thing my body had forgotten how to do.

He looked at my hands, one still gripped his sleeve tightly, the other shook uncontrollably.

"It's okay," he said softly.

No.

It wasn't.

Nothing felt okay.

The rain was still pounding heavily against the car.

Andrew quickly pushed his seat backward as far as it would go.

The sudden movement startled me slightly.

"It's alright,” he spoke gently. "I'm just making space."

His movements remained slow.

Carefully, he reached toward me.

"I'm taking your seatbelt off."

A quiet click echoed inside the car, then the seatbelt loosened.

I barely noticed.

All I could hear was the rain. All I could feel was my heart racing far too fast.

Andrew hesitated for the briefest moment.

Then… very carefully, he reached for me.

One arm slipped around my shoulders, the other supported my back. He gently guided me across the centre console until I was leaning against him.

I froze.

But as another loud clap of thunder exploded overhead, instinct took over me.

I buried my face against his chest and his arms immediately tightened around me.

Not tightly enough to trap me. Just enough to make me feel held and safe.

"It's okay,” he murmured near my ear. "I've got you."

Steadily, his hand slowly moved up and down my back.

After repeating the same rhythm over and over again, his palm rested lightly against my shoulder. Then he patted it gently.

"It's alright."

Another soft pat.

"Breathe with me."

I tried.

I really tried but my breathing wasn't steady yet.

He didn't rush me.

"Look at me."

I couldn't.

"I can't," the words barely escaped between broken breaths.

"That's okay,” his voice stayed impossibly calm. "You don't have to."

His hand continued rubbing slow circles across my back.

"Just listen."

I nodded weakly.

"In."

He inhaled deeply.

Even through my panic, I could hear it.

"And out."

His breath left slowly.

"In."

"Out."

I focused on his voice instead of the rain, on the steady rise and fall of his breathing, on the warmth of his hoodie beneath my cheek, on the reassuring weight of his arms around me.

Little by little, the rain became slightly less deafening. My heartbeat still raced, but it no longer felt like it was trying to escape my chest.

Air slowly returned to my lungs and my grip on his hoodie loosened.

I hadn't even realised I'd been clutching it.

Andrew didn't say, I told you to calm down. He didn't ask unnecessary questions. He didn't tell me I was overreacting.

He simply stayed exactly where he was, patient, quiet and present.

Every few seconds, his hand would gently pat my shoulder again.

A silent reminder that I wasn't alone.

The safest place for me at that moment was in Andrew's arms.

And I didn't know what that meant for me.