Chapter 13: You Took the Life Right Out of Me... I'm Longing for Your Heartbeat

After he had taken Jada back to the hotel, he had avoided her until the day they moved into their duplex two weeks later. Jada was not the only person Chris had been avoiding, he changed his phone number because blocking Nina seemed like too much of a conscious effort. He wanted to show Jada that not only was he done with Nina, but with the other women as well. 

Now the only people who had his number were related to him by business, blood, and marriage. This was the effort he made to show Jada he was changing, it also included going home late and spending time with her, even when his face was the last this she wanted to see.

With everything he as doing to get ready for his new duties as a father and a partner, the responsibility still had a chokehold on him. Sometimes he thought about it, disappearing in the middle of the night once more. But he couldn’t in good conscious leave someone who needed him. Chris wanted Jada to need him, as much as he wanted to be needed.

The next thing he wanted to do was change the image his family had about him. The no-good troublemaker wasn’t a manacle he wanted to wear for the rest of his life. 

What else could I say that you haven’t heard…

Jada’s way of words had a knack of knocking sense into him. He thought of publishing a book and call it The One-Liners That Ripped Me to Shreds but Helped Change My Life. He could sell it to every woman, or parent that was dealing with a man just like him. Immature.

Christopher was at the Henry Empire Head Office to see his big brother about putting him back to work. The effort he had made for Duke was a tie and sports coat. He kept his jeans and boots on. He was here to show that he was serious but he wasn’t about to change everything about himself. He was willing to compromise on the things Jada didn’t like about him and that did not include his fashion.

Smith walked up to him his face settled in his forever frown and glare. Christopher wondered if the man’s face would shatter if he ever tried to smile. “Mr. Henry is ready for you.”

“Mr. Henry,” Chris mumbled to himself. When it came to their employees and business associates, Duke was Mr. Henry. He had quickly dethroned his father with his efficiency when he was twenty-five. Now the previous Mr. Henry was known by the unflattering name, Senior or Old Man. Kat was Doctor, Kit was referred to as Captain and Chris was the troublemaker. The whispered it behind his back, and they never attempted to make excuses when he overheard them.

Duke told him it was because they didn’t respect him, and that hard work was what earned you respect, and that respect was more valuable than New York real estate and the money in the bank. Duke always went on and on about respect. However, Chris knew that Duke’s employees and associates feared him. The man had a way about him that would strike the fear of God into the toughest of men.

“Big brother,” Chris said as he walked into Duke’s office. 

“Trouble,” Duke was still sitting behind his desk, his eyes still on the stack of papers in front of him. “What did you do now?”

“Why does everyone assume that I’ve done something wrong whenever I see them?” Chris asked with a frustrated growl.

“Because you usually have,” Duke finally looked up at Christopher. Hard eyes met his with firm lips and a no-nonsense demand, “What is it?”

“I would like to come back to work,” Chris’s voice shook with his request.

Duke leaned back in his seat, and for the first time, he seemed surprised at Chris. “Jada?”

“She is a great reason, but I want to do this for myself as well. Clean up my reputation, prove to myself that I can do better than model for Page Six,” Chris laughed at himself as shame and embarrassment caused his face to burn as he loosened his strangling tie.

“How is Jada doing?” Duke got up and gestured for Chris to take a seat in one of the armchairs by his window, as he took the other. 

As he sat there across his brother, Chris noticed Duke’s sternness melt away. It confused him a little bit. He was used to his brother glaring at him angrily or in disappointment, never had he seen his eyes soften so compassionately.

“She is on bed rest. Jada and the babies are doing great,” Chris let out a breath that relaxed his whole body. He liked, even loved talking about Jada and the babies. However, he always did in a manner that was far from him, “She’s growing bigger by the second.”

“What happened the day you rushed her to the hospital?” Duke’s eyes were dark, the only one of the Henry children with deep brown eyes, and they burned remarkably bright with intelligence. 

Chris didn’t want to lose the compassionate look that his brother had finally afforded him. But Duke rarely asked questions he didn’t already know the answer to. Especially if it was about the family, Duke made it his business to know everything that he needed to know, and let his presence be felt everywhere as well. Duke Henry was the definition of Big Brother.

“You want me to say it out loud?” Chris’s tie begun chocking him once more and no matter how much he loosened it, it didn’t give up its hold on him.

“I think hearing yourself say it, realizing how messed up it is, you’ll find some new perspective,” Duke explained.

New perspective, he already found that, along with fear, regret, and a lover’s broken heart.

“I don’t have to hear myself say it, I heard Jada say it and it ripped me to shreds.”

***

Once a cheater always a cheater, but in her case, once a Christopher, always a Christopher. Jada still stood at the fork in the road, swollen legs and all. There was nowhere for her to go, not while she was this heavily pregnant and not while a piece of her broken heart was still bleeding in Christopher’s hands.

It wasn’t about whether or not they loved each other at this point, it was about how much and whether or not that love was enough. Hearing that Christopher was trying to protect himself from Jada helped her understand him a little bit. The sleeping with her sister part was complete bullshit, but the fear was something she could empathize with. Jada had always been afraid to call something hers, only because Nina would take it from her. Today she was going to resolve that and put an end to the toxic relationship.

But she wondered about Chris. It was easy for Jada to forgive and be tolerant. She had a lifetime of practice, but with Christopher, it was a little hard for her to move past. She had expected more from him, especially since he was well aware of the terrible relationship between her and her sister. She hoped that Chris didn’t do it to intentionally hurt her, but understood it as a method to put as much distance between him and her. It worked.

I was trying to protect myself from you. The risk of me falling deeply in love with you is so great it scares me. I don’t want to fall into that rabbit hole, knowing that I might not make it out.

What about her? 

Did Christopher think that Jada wasn’t terrified? She was, even more so because of the babies. She desperately wanted to give her children something she had never had, a mother who genuinely loved them and supported them. She didn’t want them to grow up with the same void she did. Always feeling like she was missing on something, like her heart wasn’t complete and that her knowledge of self-love and love for others was shallow because of it. She never wanted her children to feel less than or unworthy of the good things that life had in store for them because they didn’t feel worthy enough, or courageous and brave enough to go after what they wanted in life. She wanted them to be complete.

“I know the view is great, but not good enough for you to be so distracted,” Jessica said. “I’ve been talking to myself for a while now.”

“It’s not you, I promise,” Jada said a little embarrassed.

“So how is imprisonment treating you?” Jessica teased.

“I believe they call it bed rest.” Since they moved in Jada had strict orders to stay in her room resting. It was driving her crazy, the thought of not being able to do anything until the babies were born, but it was a sacrifice she was willing to make for her daughters. Plus, it helped that Jessica kept on feeding her work, that way she wasn’t bored.

“Whatever they call it, it seems like torture to me.”

“Bigger picture Jessica,” Jada laughed.

“This is all the work I could bring you today,” Jessica put files on top of Jada’s coffee table.

“I wish you brought more.”

“This is the best arrangement I could come up with that the man upstairs agreed to.”

“God?” Jada asked bewildered.

“No silly,” Jessica laughed. “Duke.”

“Oh.”

“They are very serious about you being well enough to bring in the next lot of Henry workers. You and Danny are probably Senior’s favorites. He values the ability to mass-produce,” Jessica teased.

“Very funny.”

“No seriously, he had four children and only one of them went into the family business. Now he has six grandchildren and two others on the way, Senior couldn’t be happier. I think his worst nightmare is having someone who is not a Henry run the business,” Jessica rumbled on. 

“Kat is a doctor and Kit is working on the family business.”

“Christian is flipping houses not building skyscrapers, Senior doesn’t see that as working in the family business.”

“How was he as a dad?” Jada had always been curious about that. Wondering if Chris’s parents and how they raised him could have contributed to his behavior.

“Hands off, just like most fathers in his generation. Senior was more interested in securing his family’s wealth than with soccer games and recitals.”

Jada had been fortunate to see Duke and Kit with their children. They did not share their father’s parenting methods. The two men were so responsible, accountable, and dependable. Before she could stop herself, Jada asked, “What happened with Christopher?” 

Jada was glad that she and Jessica had been able to become such fast friends. Otherwise, she would have been so lonely in New York. Plus, it was great to have someone to unload on when it came to talking about Christopher. Jada never knew what to say to Katherine and Rayne whenever they asked about her and Chris. For his sake and his relationship with his family, Jada always made things sound a little better than they were. With Jessica, she could say anything without reservation.

“What about him?” Jessica urged her on.

“He destroyed me,” Jada confessed. “He could do anything and it wouldn’t have bothered me, but sleeping with my sister was the one thing he shouldn’t have done. I’m still standing because my foundation is made of two and a half decades of pain.”

“Do you mind if I ask you about your relationship with your sister?” Jessica asked cautiously.

“Go ahead.”

“Why do you hate her so much?”

The question kicked Jada squarely in the chest and for the first time, she tried to truly figure out what she felt towards her sister. Was hate equal to resentment?

“I don’t hate her, I just feel very inferior to her,” Jada said instead. “Nina Williams is the one they all want.”

“Who is ‘they’?”

“Guys, my mother,” she admitted bitterly.

“Guys in general or just one man, who is an asshole by the way,” Jessica sneered.

“Just the one,” Jada smiled beside herself.

“And your mother?”

“I guess, Helena loved that she gave birth to a replica of herself. She had dreams of Hollywood but wasn’t good enough. Nina was the way she could live out her fantasy, but Nina wasn’t good enough either. But I had a natural talent for the stage?”

“You were an actor?” Jessica asked surprised.

“No, a dancer,” Jada said. Memories of how proud she felt when she realized that she was better than Nina at something, and how other people noticed it made her smile. No one could take that time in her life from her. “My mother wasn’t happy about it, so she invented an injury and made me quit.”

Jessica frowned and for a moment Jada could see her contemplating whether or not to ask the question in her head. After a brief second, Jada saw resolve and leaned in to hear what her friend had such a hard time asking.

“Are you sure she’s your mother?”

“Unfortunately for me, yes I am sure.”

Was it wrong to wish that the woman she called mother was not the one who had given birth to her? However, it didn’t matter how many shooting stars she wished on or prayers she mumbled under her breathe, Helena Williams was her mother there was no changing that.

“Where is Christopher, I expected to find him fast asleep recuperating from last night’s debauchery,” Jessica teased. 

“Since we moved in together, he hasn’t gone out at night.” That didn’t mean anything, she reminded herself. “He had a tie and jacket when he left this morning.”

“Tie and jacket? He probably went to see Senior,” Jessica said. “So, he changed his number and abandoned his nightlife. He might be trying to change.”

“Excuse me if I don’t hold my breath.” Jada had become skeptical of all of Chris’s motives. She had decided to treat him as she did Nina, cautiously, and without much expectation.

Just then the doorbell rang and Jada already knew who it was. She waited with bated breath as the housekeeper showed them up the stairs to her room. Jada could already hear her mother complain about not being received in the living room, and Nina mocking Jada’s princess's life.

What was I thinking? The sound of their entitled voices made Jada regret the decision to invite her to her home. She wanted to talk to them about her father’s house, but now she wished she had just resolved the issue without involving them. 

But Jada anted to address Christopher with Nina, she wanted to draw the line in the sand.

“So did you have us walk up the stairs so that we could see your huge home?” Nina’s lips twisted into a bitter scowl. 

“You weren’t kidding,” Jessica muttered before rising from her seat and moving to stand beside Jada on the daybed. Jessica took a defensive stance, her eyes glaring holes into the people she thought of as enemies.

“You aren’t going to stand up to greet me? Have you lost all respect for your mother?” Helena sneered at Jada.

Jada sighed as exhaustion she hadn’t felt in months all of a sudden piled up inside her. With Jessica’s help, Jada dragged her heavy body to her feet and gave her mother an unwanted hug.

Helena glared at her belly, and instinctively Jada’s arms went around her body to protect her children.

“So, this is why Nina’s boyfriend dumped her. Why won’t you leave your sister in peace?” Helena screamed at her.

Jada laughed, how could she not? It was just incredible how delusional the two were. “No mother, Nina is the one sleeping with the father of my children. I am almost six months pregnant. Six months ago, we were all at Southold, Suffolk County and Nina was married to my fiancé.”

Helena’s jaw slacked expression sent a jolt of smug satisfaction through her. Jada had never seen her mother speechless.

“Excuse me, this is a family matter do you mind!” Nina addressed Jessica.

“I’d rather stay,” Jessica challenged.

Jada was grateful that Jessica wanted to be there with her, but she needed to do this on her own. “I’ll be fine,” she said with a reassuring smile.

Jessica nodded and took her leave.

It was just the three of them in the room. Jada didn’t feel outnumbered in fact she felt like this was her moment to shape the person she wanted to be.

***

"Did you immediately know that you wanted a wife and kids?” Christopher often wondered how a man found his paternal instinct and when he would feel his. He had always assumed that it hadn’t sunk in yet because the babies were not here, and he couldn’t see them. But he saw Jada’s belly grow bigger every passing day and that should have been enough for him.

“I was a little naïve on that front. I was so lonely, the company made up every single part of my life. I just wanted someone to help me build a life of my own outside the company,” Duke said. “I just wanted to be fulfilled and content and work wasn’t doing that for me. It was making me so irritable and unhappy.”

There had been that one woman who had been by Duke’s side ever since they were in college, but Duke had never pursued a relationship with her. Jessica was attractive, determined, hardworking, and dedicated. She was the male version of Duke.

“Jessica?”

“One, I never saw her that way and two she’s part of the company and that’s not what I want. Rayne is a mother, wife, sister, friend, and confidant. She’s like an all-in-one family bouquet. She centers me, and within her, I found my next breath. She’s like a deep inhale of fresh air when everything else is suffocating,” and with a groan, he added, “Jessica and I are too similar. We had nothing to give each other that we didn’t already have.”

“Makes sense,” Chris mumbled. Jada was that something different for Chris too, his North Star. If only he could stop messing u long enough to see what they could have.

“Rayne helped me see what I was missing with my son, family and my life,” A sad smile spread across Duke’s face. “I have a lot of regrets and they all revolve around my son. I am working hard to be a good and worthy father to him and his sister.”

Duke didn’t start with a strong paternal instinct, but he had developed it along the way. Now he was one of the greatest fathers Chris knew. This meant there was hope for Chris and it was up to him to make himself into the father and partner that Jada and his children deserved. His phone buzzed in his hand interrupting his thoughts. Chris looked at his phone didn’t recognize the number and silenced it.

But just as he was about to ask, when Duke’s phone buzzed moments later. “It’s Jessica, she wants to talk to you.”

“You need to get here,” Jessica’s anxiety was obvious through the phone, but Chris forced himself to remain calm.

“What’s wrong with Jada?”

“Her mother and sister are here?”

Panic seized him and the cold seeped into his muscles and after a long stretch of silence he asked, “How did they find her?”

***

“Apart from showing off, why did you ask us here?” Nina walked around the room, her eyes everywhere as if she was taking inventory then plopped herself onto Jada’s queen-size bed. 

Jada felt territorial, but she did her best to hold her tongue and focus on the issue at hand, “The house. Darrell came to see me; he says that you closed shop and stuck him with the mortgage.”

“It’s his duty as Nina’s husband,” Helene spoke with her nose pointed in the air, never claiming responsibility and still shameless enough to put on airs of expensive self-importance. However, Jada was glad for one thing, that Helena realized that Nina had a husband and that his name was Darrell and not Christopher.

“I’ll pay off the mortgage, but the deed will have to change to my name and not yours, mother,” Jada announced.

You’re doing great. Don’t buckle now.

Jada forced her back as straight as it could go, steeling herself with brazen defiance. She didn’t look away even when Helena glared ferociously at her. 

“Your father left that house to me!” Helena yelled.

“And you almost lost it, twice!” Jada countered.

“He owed me that house. I had to put up with his fits.”

Jada winced but tried to ignore the pain her mother’s jab at her father’s PTSD caused her. “But I paid the mortgage of that house after he died.”

“Died?” Helena roared in laughter, its intent to mock her wasn’t missed by Jada. “You say it as if he didn’t wake up from his sleep or he was hit by a bus. Your father was a coward and he took the cowards way out and left me to do everything on my own.”

Death isn’t the greatest loss; the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. 

Her father’s death had stolen her innocence and optimism, but it hadn’t taken her substance. Her father’s memory lived on through the person he had taught her to be.

The anger that had been lying dormant within her, it churned within, hungry for destruction, and revenge. The pressure of this raging sea of anger forced her to say things and express thoughts I've suppressed for weeks.

“What about me, mom?” Hot tears poured out of her eyes, spiking her lashes.

“What about you? Pay off the debt so that I can go back to my home,” Helena said flippantly, ignoring or not noticing or not caring about Jada’s pain. “And by the way stay away from Nina’s boyfriend. We both know if it wasn’t for the bastards in your belly, he wouldn’t put you up in this nice place.”

“You know that you can’t compete against me,” Nina said over her shoulder, her decisive laugh slicing at old wounds.

“When was the last time you spoke to Chris?” Jada asked. Since the girl was stuck on stupid, he wanted to enlighten her.

“I could call him right now if I wanted to,” Nina declared with a challenging glare.

“Go ahead,” Jada countered. The hesitation in Nina’s eyes was obvious and amusing, but Jada decided to put her sister out of her misery. “I know about you, Meredith, and the countless other faces. I also know Christopher, he’s not the type to be saddled. He won’t marry you.”

“He won’t marry you either,” Nina spat too aggressively.

“I don’t need him to.” The volley of barbs was about to get worse, so she prepared herself for it. Jada shrugged her shoulders trying her best to act nonchalant about a subject that still had her heart bleeding.

“Why would he want to marry you when he could have Nina?” Helena chided.

If there were past lives, Jada was convinced that she and Helena were enemies in one of them. A wave of astonishment washed through her at the obvious malice and disdain her mother held for her.

“Mom, when did you stop loving me or did you ever love me?”

“What’s there to love? I hate how dark you, I have how kinky your hair is, I hate how wide your hips are and I especially hate that you look so much like your father,” Helena hissed with a smirk.

Each word Helena said was an assault to her senses. The viciousness in her tone stripped Jada of every single layer of defense she had built over the years, taking away her bravery as well. Jada found herself drowning in her mother’s odium, the darkness suffocating her and robbing of the life within her. 

I need to get out of here.

Jada got up from her day bed, walked past Helena and Nina, and headed for the stairs. She needed to leave before they both caused her more damage than they already had. She would leave with Jessica and only return after Christopher had purged the place of Nina and Helena’s evilness.

She had just reached the landing at the top of the stairs when Jada stumbled as her vision blurred. She tripped over her feet and landed on her knees. But that didn’t keep her from moving. The overwhelming desire to escape kept her going. Jada reached out one feeble arm to pull herself forward. It took more energy than she had expected, but she continued to push herself, continued to fight the blackness until she managed to grab onto the railing and pull herself to her feet. But just as her vision was beginning to clear and the dizziness was subsiding, she felt a push on her back. 

Jada didn’t feel the impact, but she knew that she was falling down the stairs. Her arms wrapped protectively around her belly. Fear and shock had dulled her senses protecting her from the pain she was supposed to feel with each stair that hit her body.

When she finally stopped, the darkness began to engulf her. Jada was only conscious long enough to hear Chris cry out her name, feel the warmth of his hand on her belly and the life of her two children leave her body.