Chapter 72 UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCE
Alex
Alex woke up to bright lights and pain. His whole body hurt. His head pounded.
“He’s awake,” someone said. A nurse, moving around him.
“Where am I?” Alex’s voice came out rough. Wrong.
“County General, you were in a car accident. Do you remember?”
Alex tried to think, tried to remember, but couldn’t.
“I don’t. I don’t remember.”
“That’s normal. Concussion. You’ll probably get the memories back. What’s your name?”
“Alex. Alex Lee.”
“Good. Do you know what day it is?”
“No.”
“That’s okay. You’re going to be fine. Just some bruising, broken rib, concussion, nothing permanent.”
“Is anyone here? My boyfriend. Elias.”
“He’s in the waiting room. Been here for hours. Want me to get him?”
“Yes. Please.”
The nurse left. Alex tried to piece together what happened, driving to campus, that part was clear, then nothing, just blank.
The door opened. Elias rushed in, his face was pale, eyes red.
“Oh thank god,” Elias said. “You’re awake. You’re okay.”
“What happened?”
“Car accident. Someone ran a red light. Hit your driver’s side. You don’t remember?”
“No. Nothing after leaving the apartment.”
Elias sat in the chair next to the bed. Took Alex’s hand carefully. “You scared me. When the hospital called, I thought. I thought I’d lost you.”
“I’m okay. The nurse said nothing permanent.”
“Broken rib, concussion, bruised everywhere that’s nothing.”
“But I’m alive.”
“Yeah. You are.”
They sat in silence. The machines are beeping. The hospital sounds are filtering through the closed door.
“I made a decision,” Elias said. “About the program.”
“Elias. Don’t. Not now. We’ll talk when I’m better.”
“No. I need to say this. While it’s clear. While I remember what matters.”
“Okay.”
“I’m declining. Staying here. With you. Nothing else is important.”
Alex’s chest felt tight. “You can’t decide that because of this, because I got hurt.”
“I’m not. I decided this morning, before the accident. I woke up knowing. I was going to tell you tonight.”
“And if I hadn’t been in an accident? Would you still feel the same?”
“Yes. The accident just made it more obvious. Made me realize how stupid I’ve been. Fighting about a program when I could lose you to something real. Something permanent.”
“Elias.”
“I love you. More than any degree, more than any career, you’re what matters, you’re are my everything.”
Alex’s eyes filled. The tears are stinging. “What if I don’t want you to stay?”
Elias went still. “What?”
“What if I want you to go? To take the program? To not give it up because of me?”
“I’m not giving it up because of you. I’m choosing you. That’s different.”
“Is it? Because from here it looks like you’re sacrificing. And I don’t want that. I don’t want to be the reason you don’t pursue your dreams.”
“You’re not a reason, you’re my choice, my conscious, willing choice.”
“Today. But what about next year? Five years from now? When you see your classmates with PhDs and you’re still at the magazine?”
“Then I apply again. Somewhere local. Or I don’t. Maybe I’m happy where I am.”
“You won’t be.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know you. You’ve wanted this since undergrad. You’re not going to just stop wanting it because we had a fight and I got in an accident.”
Elias leaned forward. “Alex. I love you. Do you understand that? I love you more than I’ve ever wanted anything. Including a PhD.”
“I love you too. That’s why I can’t let you stay.”
“You’re not letting me do anything. I’m making this choice.”
“Under duress. I’m in a hospital bed. You’re emotional. This isn’t a real decision.”
“It is. It’s the most real decision I’ve ever made.”
A knock on the door. Des and Sana came in. Carrying flowers and worried faces.
“Oh my god,” Des said. “You look terrible.”
“Thanks. Feel terrible too.”
“What happened?” Sana asked.
“Car accident. Someone ran a red light. I don’t remember much.”
They stayed for an hour, talking, distracting, being normal when nothing felt normal.
After they left, a doctor came in. “We’re keeping you overnight. Observation for the concussion. If everything looks good, you can go home tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Your boyfriend can stay if you want. We’ll bring a cot.”
Elias stayed. Slept in the uncomfortable hospital chair. Woke every time Alex shifted. Every time a nurse came in.
“You don’t have to stay,” Alex said at 3 AM.
“I want to. I need to know you’re okay.”
“I’m okay. Just hurting.”
“I’m sorry. For everything. For the program. For fighting. For making you drive upset.”
“You didn’t make me do anything. It was an accident. Not your fault.”
“Feels like it is. If we hadn’t been fighting, you wouldn’t have left early. Wouldn’t have been on that road at that time.”
“You can’t think like that. That way leads to madness.”
“I know. But I can’t help it.”
Morning came, more tests, more doctors. Finally, approval to go home.
“Take it easy,” the doctor said. “No driving for a week. No strenuous activity. Rest. Let that rib heal.”
At home, Elias helped Alex to the couch. Got him water. Pain medication, pillows, everything he needed.
“I’m fine,” Alex said. “You don’t have to hover.”
“I’m not hovering. I’m being helpful.”
“You’re hovering.”
“Can you blame me? You were in a car accident. I’m allowed to hover.”
Alex’s phone buzzed. Katie.
Katie: Heard about the accident. You okay?
Alex: Yeah. Home now. Just sore.
Katie: Good. Also, Elias told me he’s declining the program. Please tell me that’s not because of the accident.
Alex: He says it’s not. I don’t believe him.
Katie: Talk to him. Really talk. Make sure he’s not sacrificing for the wrong reasons.
That night, Alex brought it up again. “I don’t want you to decline.”
“We’ve been over this.”
“I know. But I mean it. I think you should go. Take the program.”
“And us?”
“We’ll figure it out. Long distance visits. But you shouldn’t give up your dreams because I got hit by a car.”
“That’s not why.”
“Isn’t it? Be honest. If I hadn’t been in the accident, would you be this certain?”
Elias thought about it. Really thought. “Yes. The accident made me realize it faster. But I’d already decided. This morning. Before everything.”
“Prove it.”
“How?”
“Tell me why. Not because of the accident. Not because I’m hurt. Tell me why you’d choose to stay even if everything was fine.”
Elias sat next to him. Careful not to jostle his rib. “Because when I think about my future, you’re in it. Every version. Every possibility. The program is just two years. But you’re forever. And I’d rather have forever with you than two years pursuing something that might not even make me happy.”
“And if it does make you happy? Is it everything you wanted?”
“Then I’ll figure out how to get it another way. Later, here, somewhere we can both be.”
Alex was quiet. Processing.
“I need to tell you something,” Alex said. “About this morning. Before the accident.”
“Okay.”
“I was driving to campus to clear my head. To think about whether I wanted to keep fighting for us. Whether it was worth it.”
Elias’s face went pale. “And?”
“And I decided it was. That you’re worth fighting for. That we’re worth fighting for. Even when it’s hard. Even when we want different things.”
“So what does that mean?”
“It means I think you should go. Take the program. And we try long distance. Really try. Not just say we will and then give up when it gets hard.”
“You want to do long distance?”
“I want you to pursue your dreams. And if that means two years apart, then that’s what we do.”
“What about the wedding?”
“We postpone, for real, not cancel. Just wait until we’re both ready. Until the timing is right.”
“When will that be?”
“I don’t know. But I’d rather wait and do it right than rush and have you resent me.”
Elias took his hand. “I could never resent you.”
“You say that now. But time changes things. Distance changes things. We need to know if we can survive it.”
“And if we can’t?”
“Then at least we tried. At least we gave each other the chance to chase our dreams.”
They sat in heavy silence. The decision has been made. The future is uncertain.
“Two years,” Elias said. “That’s how long the program is.”
“Two years.”
“Think we can make it?”
“I don’t know. But I want to try.”
“Me too.”
But that night, Elias’s phone buzzed. Email. From the program director.
Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, we must withdraw your acceptance. We’ll be in touch about reapplying next year.
The choice was made for them.
Elias wasn’t going anywhere.