I love you Silvia

Gerard Point of View

There were many moments in my life when I waited with bated breath for the answer to an important question. But never before had I felt like my entire future depended on that moment. As Silvia sat on the couch looking at me, a little confused and dazed, I started to worry that the answer she was expecting was a no.

A desperation rose deep in my gut and I had to do something.

"I love you, Silvia," I said it again in case she hadn't heard me the first time. Again, the seconds dragged on like an eternity and I had to admit that she didn't feel the same.

I thought that my worst fears had come true when I believed that Silvia had betrayed and humiliated me. I was discovering that, in reality, my worst fear was that she wouldn't love me. I tried really hard to avoid feeling like that again. And, worst of all, this moment was much worse than the first time I loved and lost.

As I sat there feeling a little silly, I could feel something inside me dying. My protective instinct told me to get up and leave. But I couldn't give up the hope that, perhaps, I had made a mistake again. Maybe she did love me. So I sat and waited.

A moment later, she stood up from the couch, wrapping her arms around my neck and pressing her body against mine. It took me a moment to realize what was happening because I was so sure I wouldn't. But then I put my arms around her. holding her close to me, and sitting on the couch with her on my lap. I hugged her, burying my face in her neck, inhaling her sweet scent and swearing I would never let her go.

“It was the longest hour of my life,” I said, letting out a long, shuddering sigh.

She lifted her head and looked at me, smiling wide and bright, the light returning to her eyes.

"It was like three seconds. What you said took a while to reach my brain."

"It seemed like a fucking eternity. My life flashed before my eyes. "Then, because I couldn't wait another second to taste her, I pulled her towards me, pressing my lips against hers, letting her taste and the texture of her bring relief to my body.

She separated her lips from mine and I growled in frustration because she hadn't had enough. Not at all. In fact, he was now sure he would never have enough. Even if I spent my whole life with her.

Her hands slid from my shoulders along my neck and up to caress my face. Her beautiful blue eyes roamed over my face before returning to my gaze.

"I love you too, Gerard".

I closed my eyes, savoring the way her words filled me with relief and happiness. Then, her lips were on mine again, kissing me as if she planned to kiss me forever, which I hoped she would.

When we separated, I rested my forehead against his.

"Just to be clear here, this is not some kind of friends with benefits, or a “let's see where this goes” type of essay. I want to be with you, Silvia. I want to tell the world that you're mine, or maybe that I'm yours, and I know that's selfish considering what being with me has done to your career...

Her lips kissed me again and I sank into them thinking it was a good sign. I separated from the kiss with reluctance, but with the determination to get everything that needed to be done.

"I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to make everything okay for you again. I promise.

She touched her nose with mine, a gesture that I would never have thought could fill me with so much sweetness.

"Don't you know, Gerard? You've already fixed everything just by being here and telling me that you love me."

I slid my hands down her back.

"Yeah. I love you, Silvia. I have been wrong before to believe that I was in love. That wasn't love. And, as humiliating and crushing as that whole experience was, I can't help but be grateful for it now, because if things had gone as planned then, I wouldn't be here with you now. And there's no place I'd rather be than here with you."

Her cheeks flushed red and she had a beautiful, sweet smile on her face.

"Since when are you so romantic, Gerard? "

I shrugged.

"It's all your fault.

That sweet smile widened and then her lips were on mine again. Thinking we'd said everything there was to say at that point, we repositioned ourselves, pulling her under me on the couch.

"Now I'm going to make love to you. "I kissed her jaw and lightly nibbled her ear.

"I certainly hope so.

I always felt a little crazy and desperate when I had sex with Silvia. Maybe it was because my hormones were out of control. Or because every time we slept I wasn't sure if it would be the last time.

Right now, I still felt crazy, but part of that was wanting to be as close to her as possible. However, my goal was to take my time, because I was sure it wasn't the last time, and I wanted her to know, through my caresses, how I felt.

The part we rushed through was getting naked. Once my hands were on her soft, smooth skin, I eased off the accelerator and took my time. I worshiped her body with my lips and my fingers. Her sighs and moans were like music to my ears as I made sure that no inch of her body was left untouched.

"I want you," she said between pants as she approached me.

"I'm here. "I slid down her body, stopping to suck on her nipples the way she liked.

She leaned off the couch, and her fingers found my crotch and caressed it. I groaned and struggled to contain my urges.

"I need you inside me, Gerard. Please."

Whatever my lady wanted, she would have it. I lifted her leg over the back of the couch while she settled my hips between her thighs. I rubbed my tip along the wet lips of her crotch, eager to feel her around me.

"Oh oh. "I started to back away."

"What's happening? "She gave me a shy smile.

"I need a condom. " I started looking for my jeans.

"I'm taking the pill."

My gaze moved to her. All this time we had been fucking and she had never said it. But why would she do it? She thought it was just a toy? One of many.

"I'm clean. And there has only been you, Silvia. "She was getting close to me.

"Then you should make love to me."

I don't know how I didn't cum at that moment. I had never been with a woman without a condom. Not even with my ex.

I got back into position and lay on top of her, holding her beautiful face in my hands.

"I do not deserve you. " Her hands caressed my back.

"Yes, you deserve it. I thought we were opposites, but we're more like yin and yang. A perfect fit."

I smiled like crazy that she thought that. It made the broken pieces of my heart fall back into place.

Still looking at each other, I pushed into her, slowly and gently, savoring the feel of her wet, hot crotch as she took me in.

When I reached the hilt, she moaned and arched.

"How I like to feel you, Gerard."

I leaned down, kissing her exposed neck.

"I always want to make you feel good. "I moved slowly, going in and out, watching her face as the pleasure increased. She was so fucking beautiful, and smart, and sassy...she was perfect for me and I'd been a fool not to see it sooner.

"Oh, God, Gerard..."

That was the sign that she was approaching the limit. I let my own control slip for a few seconds, quickening the pace as I moved in and out of her. I put my hand on the cushion next to her head for leverage so I could press deeper.

"Yes...yes..."she moaned as her hips moved in rhythm with mine.

My thing was very hard and every time I slid into it the friction from it made me see stars. But I held back. Wait. I pushed her up and up until she finally screamed my name. Her body leaned over the couch and her crotch squeezed me tightly.

Then, I let go of her, sinking into her sweet body once and the sky opened, filling my body with the ultimate pleasure. I filled her body with my essence and felt that I marked her, that I made her mine. Of course, I didn't say that because it would probably upset her feminist sensibilities. And, of course, the truth was that I was hers.

When we recovered, I made dinner for her in her cozy little apartment. Then we made love to her again, this time on her bed, and when we had had our fill of her, I pulled her to me to cuddle her, letting her know she was here. And there I was, all night.

When the sun began to rise in the sky, I slipped out of bed, got dressed, and left her apartment, since there was still something else that needed to be done to make sure Silvia stayed with me.