Chapter 98 THIS IS INSANITY
Chapter 98 THIS IS INSANITY
Kennedie
I was too hurt to even feel embarrassed.
I was hurt because I knew that Desmond did not reject me because he was indifferent about me, but he did because he was keeping something from me. And after all of this time, he did not trust me enough to spill.
He was treating me like I was a fucking idiot.
I roughly wiped away the tears that threatened to keep spilling from my eyes… I was tired of crying and even though I knew that it was not right, a small part of me seemed to blame Graham for all that happened tonight.
Why did he have to plant that stupid seed in my head, and make me think that Desmond and I were on the same page?
No, I could not do that, because I knew that even without Graham it was only a matter of time before I was not going to be able to take it anymore. After all that has happened to me in my lifetime, I did not deserve to be strung along like some idiot.
Clarity was the least he could do for me, and even that was too much to ask for when it came to Desmond.
There was only one place that I knew that I could go, and without thinking I decided to go to Marvin’s house. He was one of the only friends that I felt like I would trust right now.
Once I arrived at his house, I waked up to the front door and rang his bell.
He came out after a few seconds and his eyes widened when he saw me. “Kennedie, what are you doing here?”
His face contorted from that of surprise into that of worry the very second that he saw my facial expression.
He walked to me and took both my hands in his “are you alright?” he asked.
The tears clouded my vision again and I shook my head “no.”
He hugged me “I’m sorry” he said rubbing my back.
I pushed away from him softly after a little while and wiped my eyes “it’s alright though, I just came here because I needed space from everything”
He nodded “Ok. But Mike and Sasha are here though, today is games night” he said. “Am I interrupting?” I asked and he shook his head “never. I think you should join us, you deserve a break from everything.”
I smiled “what are we even playing?” I asked as we walked in and Marvin groaned “Cards and Sasha is really destroying us and it is humiliating”
The living room was a mess of empty wraps and finished beer cans scattered all around. There was cards laid out in front of them.
Mike was sprawled out lazily on the floor while Sasha sat cross-legged with that damned fierce look in her eyes that even gave me chills.
“Reinforcements!” Mike declares when he sees me. “Finally, someone competent.”
“Hey I heard that,” Marvin snapped and Mike smirked “am I lying?”
I laughed.
It was good to find a laugh after crying even if it was only for a little bit.
Marvin placed a can of beer in my hands “get comfortable my girl let’s annihilate her”
Sasha arched a brow at us “you don’t think I can take you three down?” she asked and I shrugged “can you?”
Sasha smirked “game on”
I sank down into the couch and got fully immersed into the game, everywhere was lively, better than the silence of before.
I push back all of the bad thoughts and focused on the game, I even won a round… but I have discovered that I officially suck at cards.
Desmond’s voice kept on replaying in my head.
You can’t do that.
You can’t fall in love with me.
Marvin tapped me slightly, turns out I did not recognize that I was frowning “easy” he whispered.
“Sorry”
His gaze lingered on me a second too long. He was beginning to know me too well.
Halfway through another round, Sasha’s phone rang. She glanced down at the screen and frowned.
“It’s my sister.”
She stood up immediately “I’m sorry I really have to get going”
Mike stood up too “I’ll drive you”
Within minutes, they were gone. The moment the front door closed Marvin turned to me “tell me girl, what happened?” he asked.
The way he looked at me through his glasses, I doubt that I could even lie about anything. I still tried.
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“Kennedie.”
There was no judgment in his voice. He was just patient, wanting me to truly confide in him.
I busy myself stacking cards. “It’s… its stupid.”
He frowned “If it’s making you look like that, it’s definitely not stupid.”
“Look like what?”
“You look devastated Kennedie.”
I exhaled shakily. “It’s just… I said something I shouldn’t have and now I regret it.”
“To who?”
I hesitated for a second. Even now, I felt protective over Desmond. Over us. Or whatever we are or we were.
“Someone I care about,” I said finally.
Marvin leaned back, arms crossing over his chest. “And?”
“And I was rejected, alright!” I said. Frustrated tears stung from behind my eyelids.
His jaw tightened “someone rejected you Kennedie? You are freaking perfect.”
“I know that.” My voice wobbles despite my effort to steady it. “But I hate that I know that I am being kept in the dark about something, I feel like an idiot”
“About what?”
“Fuck if I know”
“Well I think that he is a complete moron to lose out on an amazing person as you”
I turned to him and smiled through teary eyes “you are amazing”
There was something about the way that he looked at me, it was my undoing.
A tear slipped free. Then another.
“I hate that I still feel so strongly about a person that doesn’t really care for my feelings,” I whisper. “I hate that even after all he did, if he asked, I’d probably still choose him.”
Marvin’s hand finally settled on my shoulder. It was firm, steady… dependable. The kind of stability that I wished Desmond could be able to offer me in my life.
“You deserve someone who chooses you back.”
“I know.”
But knowing doesn’t make it hurt less.
The tears come faster now and I covered my face with my hands.
Marvin pulled me into a hug and I wrapped my hands around him, he was just so safe.
His hand moved up and down my back slowly.
“You’re not stupid for loving someone,” he murmured into my hair.
The word loving cracked something open in me.
“I didn’t even mean to,” I whisper.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “That’s usually how it happens.”
I didn’t realize how close our faces are until I lifted my head.
His thumb brushes beneath my eye, catching a tear before it falls. My fingers tingled where his hands touched.
The air got thicker the longer we held eye contact.
“Kennedie…” he began.
I gulped.
This was insanity, I knew that with how fast my chest was beating.
His hand slid from my cheek to the back of my neck, certain.
“If he can’t see what he has right in front of him…” Marvin said quietly, his voice rougher than before.
He doesn’t finish the sentence.
He planted his lips on mine.