Chapter – 8

On the next page (Jeevika's POV)

“ I had thought I don’t have to pen down my emotions anymore. But I was wrong. I have never thought just after the day of my marriage I will write again.

I am again lonely. But I don’t know why I am feeling more lonely than before.

Maybe because I had a huge expectation from Adi and just being with him for one day I have realized that all my expectations will be shattered. My life will be the same as before.

Yesterday, when I was leaving my home I didn’t cry as much as a newly wedded bride cries. Because I was happy from inside that finally I got married to my dream man and besides, I know I am not going to miss them. Why would I miss them? We miss those people with whom we spend a lot of time. But in my parents’ case, I can even tell the count the amount of time they have spent with me in my 25 years of life.

I was very happy when we arrived at the Chauhan mansion. No, I think Mansion is not an appropriate word, I should say Palace. Just like the king’s palace we see in movies.

I thought I will enjoy this beautiful place every day. My house is also very big and beautiful but I never enjoyed its beauty. But I assumed I will enjoy this Chauhan Mansion because my Adi will be there with me. But I was wrong.

After finishing all the rituals I was sent to Adi's room. Then my happiness changed into nervousness seeing all the decorations for our wedding night. In my happiness, I had completely forgotten about the intimate the part between husband and wife’s relationship.

I was a little nervous. But in my mind, I was assuring myself that everything will be fine there is nothing to be shy or nervous about. My husband is Adi. He will never let me feel uncomfortable. He will not do anything if I say I am not comfortable.

After waiting for some time, Adi finally came into the room. I was sitting on the bed covering my face with a veil like a new bride does on their wedding night. I thought Adi will be teasing me for sitting like this.

But he sat in front of me and like a gentleman he asked ‘may I?’

After I nodded my head, he slowly opened the veil and said ‘You are really beautiful.’

I didn’t know what happen to me! I closed my eyes in shyness. I was feeling shy in front of my Adi! The proximity between us was making me nervous.

All my shyness and nervousness flew away and changed into surprise when I suddenly feel a pair of lips on mine.

Yes, he kissed me just like that. I don’t know how to react. Though that was not my first kiss, I knew how to respond to a kiss but at that moment I was too stunned to respond.

My mind stopped responding when I felt his hand opening the blouse knot behind my back. Then I realized the ‘may I?’ was not for asking permission of opening my veil…it was asking permission for something else.

I was in a complete daze. My daze broke when I shuddered in the cold temperature of the air conditioner. At that moment I realized I was already naked. My mind, my heart everything was screaming ‘stop’. Finally, some words came out of my mouth.

I told him I am not comfortable. But his reaction shocked me more when he replied ‘Don’t worry I will be gentle.’

I can not explain in words what I was feeling at that moment. I was naked I should have felt shy and I was going to lose my virginity, I should have felt nervous. But I didn’t feel any of these emotions. I was feeling numb. I came to my sense when I felt immense pain in my private part. Slowly tears rolled down my eyes. He wiped my tears and said sorry like a gentleman. He thought I was crying because of pain but the pain in my heart was more than in my body. Right at that moment, I realized I got married to the businessman Aditya Chauhan, not with my Adi.

I know I can not blame him. He didn’t force me. It was not rape. But it was also not lovemaking, it was just s*x.

After some time when everything finished, he rolled back to his side and slept saying good night to me. There was no cuddling, no forehead kiss nothing. All those novels I had read all these years were all lies. My fantasy broke when reality hit me.

Maybe I would have still been ok. I would have not been as sad as I am now if next day after waking up I didn’t find out that my newly wedded husband left for a business trip for one month leaving me alone without even informing anything to me.

Now I am in his penthouse living alone. Because no one lives in that Mansion except Granny. Everyone lives in their own penthouses. I wanted to stay there but Nandita aunty, my mother-in-law told me Adi doesn’t live in the Mansion so I have to move to his place as I am his wife.

So here I am living in his penthouse like the way I used to live before. Going to the office whenever my presence is needed. Nothing changed in my life. I was lonely before and I am still lonely.”

Flashback ( Reaction of Aditya in his POV)

I never thought you had felt like this. I didn’t understand what to do. I thought it would be normal for me to be intimate with you on our first night. You would be expected that as most arrange couples do it on their wedding night.

I knew I would have to fly away to another country on the very next day so I thought if I don’t do anything you will feel insulted.

And when you told me you were not comfortable, I thought you are scared. And not informing you about my business trip because I never had this habit. I know I got married I should have changed that habit but it didn’t occur to me.

Jivi, you are right I have changed. From your and Granny's Adi, I became the successful businessman Aditya Chauhan. But I promise the old Adi will be back. Your Adi will be back.

Flashback End.

Third person’s POV

Aditya was sitting beside Jeevika's unconscious figure. His son was also sleeping on the bed beside Jeevika holding her hand.

Aditya was messaging Jeevika’s hand and leg so that whenever she wakes up she will not have to face any problem of walking or moving any body parts.

It’s been one month since Jeevika was in coma. In this one month Aditya has not gone to his office or on any business trip. His assistant has been managing everything in the company since Jeevika's accident. Sometimes he only gave instruction through video calls or voice calls.

Aditya was talking to Jeevika while massaging. It has become his habit of telling everything to Jeevika.

ADITYA : You know Jivi, today Ayu finally said papa, I love you. Yes really…he didn’t say like he always says. Today he has said correctly. I am very happy Jivi. You want to enjoy every moment of his life, right? Then wake up…wake up, please.

“Aditya Chauhan, what is going on?”