Chapter 63

Aurelia waited for her dad to return from work that evening.

Since she conceived her grand idea earlier in the day, she made effort to brighten up, put herself in a good mood. What was that thing Esme said about “feeling is the key”? She decided to change her mental landscape into one that was happy as a result of the wedding being called off.

Her mother was home that morning, as Villalobos had instructed that she stayed home to keep an eye on Aurelia. Her mother was expected to stay home all week, until the wedding. Aurelia shook her head at how her father was making her mother suffer. Then again, she felt her mother should have spoken up against staying at home if she thought it was unfair of him to ask her to stay with Aurelia. But the woman never spoke up against her husband, and that was the issue.

At nine o’clock, Aurelia knew breakfast would be ready, and she knew her mother would be downstairs. In her mind, she and her mother would sit together and have a decent conversation as though Friday and Saturday did not happen. She had said hurtful things, which were also true words, to her mother on Saturday, and she believed an apology was in place.

As she imagined, Aurelia met her mother at the dining table. The woman peered at her through the rim of her teacup as she took a sip.

“Mom.” Aurelia beamed at her mother from where she was standing a few feet away from the table. “Good morning. Did you have a good night?”

Her mother raised an eyebrow at her. She removed the cup from her lips and placed it on the saucer. “Good morning.” Her tone was unfriendly.

“I’m sorry for my outburst on Saturday,” Aurelia said and walked over to the seat close to her mother’s. She pulled it out and sat beside her. “I was feeling hurt and I wanted to lash out at anyone, and you were there. I know there is no excuse for my behaviour.”

Her mother stayed unmoved.

Aurelia leaned towards the older woman and placed her arm around her. She felt her mother stiffen. “Mom, I said I’m sorry. You know I wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings, yes?”

“How could you say that?” her mother asked quietly.

“I’m sorry.”

“I have stayed with your father all these years because of you and your brother.” Aurelia was grateful her mother could not see her face as she rolled her eyes. Another day, Aurelia was going to tell her mother that no one asked her to endure an abusive marriage. She stayed for herself, because she assumed the marriage was her comfort zone, not because of her kids. Surely, that was going to be a conversation for another day. Definitely not today.

“I appreciate your sacrifice, Mom,” Aurelia said, gently squeezing her mother in her embrace. “Thank you so much for that.”

Her mother turned her head at her, trying to catch her eyes. With her voice quivering, she asked, “Are you scared your marriage to Carlos would be like mine? Is that why you went on to have an affair with his sister?”

Aurelia released her mom and leaned back in her own seat. Not looking at her mother, she said, “No, Mom. It was not about you and dad, or anything. I genuinely fell in love with her.”

“Mija, how are you so sure you are in love with her?” Her mother reached out to take her hand. Aurelia missed her mom being like this. This was the kind of sympathy she expected from her all along. Maybe their talk on Saturday made her rethink so many things.

“I know. I have never felt this way about anyone in my life.”

Her mother lifted her hand to cup her cheek, “Look at me.” Aurelia’s gaze lifted to hold her mother’s. “I want the best for you. I want you to be happy. And I feel being with a woman would not make you happy. What will people say? There is so much hate out there. People would target you for crimes and all things that are not kind.”

“I understand your fear, Mom.” Aurelia touched her mother’s hand on her cheek. “And I respect that you feel how you feel. People hate love like this. And it is scary that your child might be a mark for such hateful people. Thank you.”

Her mother gently took her hand away and held on to both of Aurelia’s hand in her lap. “I knew you would understand.”

“I honestly do, Mom. But I’m not going to be in a marriage that does not cause me to feel fulfilment. I’m not going to let dad’s greed put me in a situation I would hate for the rest of my life. I don’t want to go through life resenting him. Life is too short to walk about with resentment.”

“I know, mija.”

“Then help me,” Aurelia implored, her eyes boring into her mother’s, trying to win her over. “I will be sad and miserable if I marry Carlos.”

“Everyone will hate you if you stay with her.”

“But no one has to know we are lovers – Esme and I.”

Her mother looked at her with incredulity. “How is that possible?”

“We can have a house together. Back in Madrid, people were able to share apartments together to save cost. And everyone would think we are flatmates.”

“You think? But what would people say about us when we abruptly call off the wedding? It is this weekend, you know?”

“I can’t be bothered about what people think of my life. I can’t let their thoughts make me get into a situation I would hate forever.”

“I understand you. I wish you had told me earlier about you and Esme.”

“Would you have supported us?”

“Maybe not at first, but if you had convinced me that you would be able to take care of yourself when hateful people come at you, I would have been supportive. I felt we were close enough for you to be able to tell me anything. That was why I felt betrayed on Friday.”

“I thought you were crying because of the shame I brought to you,” Aurelia teased.

“No, silly.” Her mother playfully swatted her hand. “You kept being in love with someone a secret from me. Well, now that I think of it, maybe I did the crying for the sake of theatrics.”

“For Dad?”

Her mother nodded.

Aurelia tutted.

Silence stretched between them.

Feeling brave, Aurelia asked, “Can you do me a favor?”

Her mother peered at her through her squinted eyes. “Don’t ask me to let you go and see Esmeralda.”

Aurelia scoffed, “No, Mom. I wouldn’t ask that of you. I was wondering if you would let me call Esme with your phone?”

Her mother shook her head.

Aurelia whined, “Mom, please. I just want her to know I’m fine. I’m sure she is over her head worrying and all.”

“What if your dad finds out?”

“He’s not going to know if we don’t tell him. Please?”

Her mother seemed to be considering the prospects of letting Aurelia place a call across to Esmeralda. And soon she spoke, “Fine. You can—”

Aurelia’s arms flew up to wrap themselves around her mother’s shoulders, “Thanks, Mom!” She kissed her mom’s cheek. “Thank you so much!”

“On one condition,” her mother said, a serious look on her face.

“What is it?”

“You have to promise me that you will get married to Carlos, and that you will stay with him.”

Aurelia felt deflated and slumped into the chair. “But, Mom, I thought we had an understanding. That guy does not love me. Marrying him would only hurt me. I would hate my life. Please, don’t make me promise that.” She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

Just then, her mother burst into a fit of laughter.

Aurelia looked at her mother in confusion. “What is it?”

The woman shook her head, wiping an errant tear from the edge of her eyes. “Oh my world! You should have seen your face. I was only pulling your legs, dear.”

Aurelia exhaled in relief. “Mom, don’t go making jokes like that. I thought you meant it.”

“Apparently.”

“So, you don’t mind that I don’t want to marry Carlos?”

“No, I don’t. I would not forgive myself if I allowed you endure half of what I have had to endure in my own marriage to your father.”

“Thank you so much, Mom.”

“You’re welcome.”

Aurelia was not going to tell her mother about her plan to elope with Esme. That might ruin the peace they had come about. Maybe at a later time she would talk about it.

“So, your phone? Let me try calling her.”

“You know her number offhand?”

“Sure I do. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I did not know Esme’s number offhand?”

“I don’t know why it is hard thinking of you as a lesbian. It’s like I’ve thought of you as one thing, and now you’re another thing...” Senora Villalobos trailed off.

“But whatever happens, I’m still your child. I always will be. And you love me without condition.”

“True. People who are not willing to love another person unconditionally have no business being parents.”

“I’m glad you see it that way.”

The older woman shrugged.

Aurelia went on, “Please, let’s not name it anything. I’m a woman who happens to be in love with another woman. Why do people have to name everything?”

“To help us with understanding everything, I guess.”

“Oh, well.”

Aurelia managed to wait until after breakfast in order to have her mother’s phone. Her mother had assured her the phone was not running away.

Imagine Aurelia’s excitement as she dialled Esme’s line!