Chapter 62
Esme was not the only one who had a shitty, miserable weekend. That Monday morning, as she was confronting Carlos, Aurelia lay in her own bed, holding her pillow tight, while wishing it would miraculously morph into her lover.
Aurelia remembered the events of Friday.
That Friday, as she watched her father break her phone, something in her broke. In that moment, she knew she was not going to look back the moment she left the house. How long was he going to hold her a prisoner? As soon as the wedding was over, she would find a way to escape everything. She hoped Esme would be willing to stick with their original plan.
As she watched the splinters of her phone on the obsidian tiles, she thought her world capsized.
Firstly, her phone was her only way of keeping in touch with Esme. There was no way her lover would be able to get across to her.
Secondly, they had a trip to plan. That would not be possible now that she was phoneless. What would Esme think? Would she think she had decided to change her mind in the last minute when her line was not connecting?
“You shameless whore!” Her father’s voice was laced with so much vitriol. She knew he was a hateful person, but until that day, she had not known the extent of his hatefulness.
“Dad, I have not done anything wrong!” she retorted.
Just then, he walked into her personal space. He was shorter, but he seemed taller. Apparently, anger could make a person seem to grow in size.
“What did you just say?” he barked int her face, making spittle fly into her face. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, not caring if she was ruining her makeup. “I dare you to repeat yourself! When you said it the first time, I thought you did not know what you were saying. But it seems like you are damn well certain of the nonsense you are saying. Say it again. I dare you.”
Aurelia did not know if she dared to say anything again. There was no point acting brave at the moment. She would save her bravery for another time when it was much needed. Today was definitely not the day.
She took a step away from him.
He sneered at her. “I did not think you would mouth that foolishness once again.”
Aurelia simply stared at him. She felt helpless and trapped. There was nothing she could think of to say to him. His next move was unpredictable.
As though to clear her doubt, he said, “You are going nowhere. I will see to it that you do not leave your room. You will have your meals in your room. I do not want to lay my eyes on you until Saturday when I have to walk you down the aisle.”
“You want to keep me a prisoner?” Aurelia’s eyes shone with unshed tears.
“You are lucky that is all I am doing to you. For this huge shame you wanted to bring to our family, you are lucky this is all the punishment you are getting.”
“There’s no way you’re going to keep me locked up here.”
“This is my house, and you will do as I demand, Aurelia. You have enjoyed too much liberty, and I regret that. Were you whoring about like this in Madrid?”
Aurelia wanted to talk back at him, but she lost all her will to fight. There was nothing she could do to stop him from grounding her. All of a sudden, she felt like a teenager being grounded. She would have laughed if her present situation was not so sad.
With nothing left to say, she simply walked out of the study, and ran on the flight of stairs leading to her room. She made sure to slam the door to her room with so much force. It was her own way of letting go of a little steam.
When one of the helps had brought her food to her that afternoon, Aurelia had told the woman through her closed door that she was not having dinner. Even when the woman insisted on her taking the food, Aurelia was adamant, and went on to add that she would not want anyone disturbing her with food for the rest of the day. She did not mind going on a hunger strike, if that was what it would take to make her father change his mind about keeping her away from the rest of the world.
For the rest of Friday, Aurelia stayed put in her room. It was what everyone wanted – she did not want to see anyone and in turn, her father said he did not want to see her.
The man called her all sort of disgusting names she wished she never heard in the first place. But in a weird manner, the things he said did not get to her. Her mother’s silence while all that nonsense was going on was what got to her most. It felt like betrayal. Like she was complicit in her father hurling hurtful words at her.
All her life, Aurelia had come to see her mother as her confidant. She told her things she would not easily tell anyone. This thing with Esme was not one of those things anyway. Well, maybe she was going to tell her, but not any time soon.
Her silence spoke several volumes of how she sided with her husband when she would not call him to order on how he insulted Aurelia.
It was not until Saturday her mother came over to her room to check in.
“Aurelia, you could have mentioned it to me, told me something.”
“How was I going to tell you that I’m in love with Esmeralda de la Cruz without you blowing a fit?”
“When did you start keeping things from me?” Her mother’s tone was accusatory.
“Mom, this is about you, and I’m not going to give you the satisfaction of making it about yourself. If you want to feel like a victim, you have Dad. He gives you the right dose of abusive your masochistic mind craves!”
Her mother gasped, placing her palm across her breast. “How could you say that, Aurelia!”
“But it is the truth. We both know you’re not happy being married to him. But you stay. I’m not going to be you. I’m not going to enter a sad marriage with someone I don’t love. I’m not going to be miserable, Mom.”
Silence.
It was as though Aurelia’s words had stirred something in the air. The truth is not always the best thing to tell people at some point. This was the wrongest time to tell her mother that the truth.
“You have hurt my feelings,” her mother said when she found her voice. “I came here to talk with you, but since you have decided to take out your bitterness on me, I have no choice than to leave you alone.”
“Now, I’m the bitter one? You’re the one trapped in a loveless marriage, not me. If there is a bitter person in this room, it is definitely not me, because I know what truly being in love feels like.”
Her mother did not dignify her with another word. The woman simply walked out of her room.
Sunday was another dreary day. Aurelia was beside herself with worry. Her mind went to several places, played with several thoughts. Things loneliness could do to a person’s mind.
Aurelia considered the odds that Esme was also worried about not being able to reach across to her. Of course, Esme would be worried, Aurelia thought at first.
She tried to imagine what Esme was feeling. Her lover was a very sensitive person – the littlest of things found a way to get to her. She hid this with a stoic veneer – anyone seeing her would think she was stuck up, mean, and all the unsavoury things people thought about haughty people. If only she could find a way to get across to her. For the first time in her life, Aurelia wished she had the power to send telepathic messages to someone.
If only Esme had waited and not called when she was talking with her father! He might not have seized her phone and broken it. She really was phone less – no one could reach across to her.
For some minutes, Aurelia felt pissed that Esme had not bothered coming over to pay her a visit. Obviously, she must had tried calling her number these past few days, and the service provider must have told her that her phone was turned off. This should have made Esme come around to check in with her, to make sure she was all right.
That realization smacked Aurelia right in her face. What if Esme did not really care about her as much as she cared about her? What if the relationship was all in her head? On the inside, people like Esme tend to crave excitement, despite having a cool, calm exterior. What if excitement, and a desire for adventure, was the reason Esme had gotten into a relationship with her?
Different thoughts crossed her mind, all of them doubting Esme’s intentions from the beginning. Aurelia could not help it as her thoughts went to dark, dreary places.
She wished she could scream, yell at the world. But that was impossible. Everyone would think she had gone mad. Well, being locked up in her room without much communication was already driving her mad.
As wild thoughts were coming to her, it crossed her mind that she should talk to her dad, make him see reason, make him understand getting married to Carlos would not bode well for her. If he loved her, the best thing he could do for her would be for him to stop the wedding. Surely, there had to be other ways to form an alliance. They were not living in medieval times, no?
Aurelia sat up in bed feeling hopeful.