He remained seated in the armchair, looking at me as if he was devouring me, measuring me as if he wanted to discover my every thought, I could not measure the size of my shame, and how much I felt invaded. What had I said?! Several indiscretions were running through my mind, which only made me blush with nervousness.
- How long have you been here? - I asked with wide eyes once again, he ran his finger across his mouth, looking too lustful, took a sip from his glass of whiskey.
- Don't worry about it, I don't know what you're ashamed of. It was a delight to follow! - He responded to this by laughing, at my face probably. What made this all the more strange,
- What did you hear? - Have you ever caught yourself torturing yourself? That question was torture, I didn't want to know. But I wanted to know! This was torture. It was the exasperation to hear his answer, between one sigh and another, a hand pass over his perfect face, and the beautiful smile he sported I expected something to grab me.
- Oh, just enough. Moans, a few sentences... The way you moved in bed - His smile caused me shivers, sent confusing information to my entire body. I felt my face burn with shame, that unreasonable dream, my overactive imagination that gets worse with drink. His fixation on me... It seemed the height of madness! He ran his hand down his pants and bit his lip. - I don't know why you're ashamed Lauren, what's the problem? - The look now was curious.
- You were watching me sleep, that's an invasion. - I replied in a terrible way, it was the most I could elaborate at the time, while my brain oxygenated less and less because of nervousness and shame.
- You want me to fuck you, say that out loud, but only for you? Got it... - He smiled, the amused and evil smile took my breath away, but it wasn't enough for me not to feel like sinking down on that bed in embarrassment.
- I'm sure I didn't say that... - I lied ok? But what would you do in my situation? Would you assume being so thirsty and in need of the touch of someone's hands that you should deeply hate that it even invaded your dreams? Your dark thoughts? I bet they would do the same as me! That complicated, incredibly delicious situation made the hairs on my body stand on end, leaving me with the urgent feeling that he could invade me, I would ask for it... But that man was crazy, dangerous and unknown to me. He's the problem I want to have, and that's the real problem. My dream reflected my tiredness of living a life on eggshells, and when he was near I could breathe. Even between one moan and another.
- I have a proposal for you Lauren... That's why you're here. - He was serious now, looked me in the eyes like a true businessman.
- How can it be a proposal if I can't say no? - I faced him with my baggy journalist face, trying to extract as much information as I could. I was studying his expressions one by one so I could figure him out.
He laughed, did he expect me to act exactly the way I did? Did he then expect it?
- My proposal is interesting, you will like it. -He ran his hand through his carefree brown hair, he had a lightness in the way he committed crimes, and at the same time the weight of his words weighed on my mind. Making my breathing even more labored.
I sat on the edge of the bed still wrapped in the sheet, looked him in the eyes with courage and detachment, if it was a negotiation... It had to be serious! - I'm going to put on some clothes, you can't hear a proposal for panties and bra.
- I disagree, hot like that could even gain some more advantages. - He sounded fun, but there was something more.
I gave her a disapproving look, went into the bathroom and put on a robe. Nothing that was mine was actually there, just the odd piece or two that he had stolen from my apartment.
- Talk... I'm ready! - I faced him again.
- What I want to propose is simple, you wrote an article about a reality that you've never seen from your apartment, and you Lauren... It's infinitely better than that. So, I want you to accompany me, go up the hill with me, travel around the countries where I operate, get to know me... Watch everything from a cabin. I will absolutely not force anything else that you don't want. The only thing I ask of you is the patience to get to know me.
- No way, I would be an accomplice! - I imagined myself stamping the cover of magazines and newspapers, how bad it would be for my father, how he could finally say that he was always right about me. And for a moment the idea of being arrested just to piss off the old man made me feel a little euphoric.
- No, you would be my prisoner. If I get caught that's what I'll say, but you wouldn't be treated like that by me. You'll have access to your cell phone, but you can't call for help. It will accompany me wherever I want, whenever I want. There's no chance to say no, understand?
- And what do I get out of it? - I provoked one more time.
- He writes his article, knows everything up close... And finally stops talking shit in the newspaper, without knowing the complete truth.
- So tell me something Vicenzo, why are you doing this? What is your interest in keeping me close to you? I don't see myself as a special type, or very smart... It's just me!
- I'm amazed at your ability to belittle yourself, but I already told you, you see yourself that way because a man never in your life put you on this pedestal that I put on, you confused my thoughts and feelings, you fucked with the psychological completely, and what makes me completely mad with hate is that you don't even notice it!
- Tell me, you speak well, you wear expensive suits, you're refined... What are you doing on a hill? - I let my prejudice reign once more.
His look is now a little cloudier - These are the questions I'm going to help you solve Lauren, you just give me the chance to show you how my world works. Or what? would you rather go mock in a magazine? Hearing from your parents that you'll never measure up to your breeding sister? Or your successful brother? Listen to that friend of yours, Letícia, the cocaine-snorting bitch talk about how many men she takes to bed, and eventually belittle you between one story or another? And let's face it, no man ever made you feel the way I did, if I was wrong you wouldn't be lying there dreaming dirty...
- I already said that there was none of that, I wasn't dreaming dirty... You invented that to embarrass me. - I wasn't a very convincing liar.
- Come on, our first point... Tell the fucking truth, no more lying Lauren! I came in here and you were rolling over in bed, talking to yourself, at first I didn't understand... But then you made it clear what it was about. And I definitely don't care, so why are you still lying? - He looked at me urgently, and I didn't even know how I should respond! - I want you around, but not out of obligation... I want you here with a purpose. And then what will it be?
- I don't know, that seems extremely dangerous, you are dangerous... I have a family, a job, a cat, a life...
- Wow, how exciting Lauren! The family that wanted you to marry me, even without even knowing if I'm a crazy psychopath, (as indeed he was) the job with that arrogant v4di4 pestering you all day with her bad mood, and a CAT? Aren't you tired of living the same day twice? Tell me, what would you do with five minutes of extreme courage?
I could answer that question in many ways.
What would I do with five minutes of extreme courage?
1)I would kiss you hard, and say exactly what I want from you, maybe I would sit on your lap and speak very close to your ears...
two)I would go with you anywhere in the world, you just have to ask me... You are so beautiful that you confuse me.
3)I would ask you to put me on all fours the same way it was happening in my dream.
And they all seemed like pretty good options for that Vicenzo narrative, but I, as always, chose to just nod and feign dementia. He wanted an answer, he wouldn't let me even look at the options too much.
- And then Lauren? It's take it or leave it!
I closed my eyes for a few seconds, looked at him with courage and detachment and said "DONE" under my breath. And it was enough for him to open a smile, the game was won, and he had the score fired in front of me.