Chapter 25 For a love she can't deny
Hazel froze at Dona’s words. For a long moment, she just sat there, staring at her friend with wide eyes, unable to speak.
“I…”
She started, her voice almost silent
“I don’t know what I feel, Dona”.
Dona arched a brow.
“You don’t know, or you don’t want to know”?
Hazel sighed and ran her hand through her hair, her fingers trembling slightly.
“I’m not sure if what I feel is love, or just… habit.
He was my mate once, and you saw the mate string suddenly appear again Dona.
I can't pretend like it doesn't have any effect on me. My feelings for him are like chores I have gotten used to doing over time, like an old scars that still hurts when it rains”.
Dona tilted her head slightly, studying her friend’s expression.
“And yet…”
She said softly
“When you talk about him, your eyes softens. You still trust him enough to look at him that way. That’s not habit, Hazel. That’s your heart remembering what it once had”.
Hazel smiled faintly, a sad, tired smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“You make it sound simple”.
“Well… maybe it is”?
Dona replied gently, causing Hazel to look at her softly but seriously.
“You loved him once, maybe you still do. You just don’t want to admit it because you’re afraid he’ll hurt you again”.
Hazel’s gaze drifted toward the balcony, where sunlight was starting to spill through the curtains.
“He already did hurt me, Dona. More than I ever thought he could. But what scares me isn’t that he’ll do it again. What scares me is that I might let him”.
The words hung heavy in the air.
Dona opened her mouth to respond, but the door creaked open before she could. Lucian stood there, still in his little sleep shirt.
“Good morning mom”.
He murmured.
Hazel instantly smiled, her tension melting away for a moment.
“Good morning baby”.
He walked over and climbed onto her lap, snuggling against her like he always did when something was bothering him. She stroked his hair gently, the familiar comfort filling her.
“Did you sleep well?”
she asked.
He nodded, then looked up at her with those wide, curious eyes that looked exactly like Kael’s.
“Mom… are you happy”?
Hazel blinked, caught off guard.
“Why do you ask that”?
“You didn't look very happy at your wedding, and you didn't look happy when I insisted you go to daddy yesterday night”.
Dona turned her face away to hide a smile. Hazel, however, froze completely.
“I…”
Hazel started, but the words were stuck in her throat.
“I’m fine, sweetheart. Just… tired”.
Lucian nodded, clearly unconvinced but too polite to press further. He rested his head on her chest again.
Dona stood, smoothing her dress.
“I’ll get breakfast started”.
She said quietly, excusing herself and leaving Hazel alone with her thoughts.
As soon as the door shut, Hazel let out a slow, shaky sigh. She rested her chin against Lucian’s hair, breathing him in. The smell of pine and soap, pure, innocent, and comforting.
“Mom”?
“Yes, baby?”
“Do you still love Daddy?”
Hazel froze again. Her lips parted, but no words came.
'how is a little child coming up with all these questions'?
She thought
Lucian looked up, his eyes open with expectations, the same way Kael had looked at her when he asked for a chance just hours ago. The same eyes. The same silent plea.
“I…”
Hazel began, then stopped.
Finally, she managed a soft smile.
“I’ll always love your father, Lucian. No matter what happens.”
He smiled, satisfied with that answer, and hugged her tighter.
Hazel only gave him the answer she felt he wanted to hear, but deep down, she could also sense a bit of truth in her words.
She didn’t know what kind of love she was talking about, the past, or the one she was still too afraid to admit she wanted again.
Kael stood by the window of his study, looking out at the courtyard below. His hands were clasped behind his back, but his mind was far from calm.
He hadn’t stopped thinking about the kiss.
The feel of her lips, the warmth of her breath, the shiver that passed through her body before she pulled away. It haunted him, replaying in his mind like a song he couldn’t forget.
Zach, his wolf, stirred restlessly in the back of his mind.
“You shouldn’t have let her go”.
Kael exhaled.
“She’s not ready yet”.
“She’ll never be ready if you keep treating her like glass”!
Zach growled.
“She’s our mate, Kael, she’s strong. You forget that sometimes”.
Kael pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I’m not forgetting, I’m only trying not to break what’s left of her trust”.
There was a soft knock on the door.
“Come in”
He said and turned to see who it was.
The door opened and Miguel stepped in, his usual calm expression back in place though his eyes betrayed him as he was obviously exhausted.
“You didn’t come to training this morning”.
Miguel said.
Kael turned, facing him.
“I didn’t sleep well”.
Miguel gave a faint smirk.
“That wouldn’t have anything to do with Hazel, would it”?
Kael shot him a look, and Miguel immediately raised his hands in mock surrender.
“Alright, alright. I’ll shut up”.
But Kael could see the flicker of discomfort behind his friend’s eyes, the same one he’d seen on their wedding day.
“Are we good, Miguel”?
Kael asked suddenly.
Miguel stiffened slightly.
“Why wouldn’t we be”?
Kael studied him for a long moment.
“Because lately, I can't help but feel like you’re holding something back”.
Miguel’s jaw tightened.
“You’re imagining things”.
Kael didn’t press it, he knew exactly what was wrong, but unless Miguel told him himself, he wasn't ready to bring it up.
“Fine”.
He said quietly as he walked to the couch.
“Right now, we have bigger problems”.
Miguel frowned.
“Like what”?
Kael looked at him seriously before he spoke.
“The rogues are back. My men in the southern woods said they were gathered in a meeting with someone unrecognizable in their middle”.
Miguel’s eyes darkened.
“You think it’s him again”?