CHAPTER 14. It's time
**— VITA.**
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“What are you doing?” He asks in surprise, and I can understand his shock, after all, this is the first time I really reject his touch.
I was just so angry when I bite his tongue… I was angry and sad, but in the end, I couldn’t resist his touch. But now, I’m not mad or crying… I’m really rejecting him.
I pull away slowly, already standing up and looking for my dress, which is lying on the floor without any honor. And suddenly, I'm aware of how I look, so messy, so exposed, with almost no clothes...
Yes, I'm in lingerie, with my skin exposed, my body for Derek to fully see, and that gives me an immense urge to cry, but I swallow the lump in my throat and fight back the tears as I get dressed as fast as I can.
"Vita," Derek says my name slowly, but so firmly that I shudder.
I'm still pulling the dress up around my hips while Derek remains sitting on the floor with his back to me. He runs a hand through his hair, sighing deeply.
Suddenly, the dress seems too tight.
"Come back here." Derek orders, but I don't dare answer him; I just quickly adjust the straps of the dress and reach for the zipper with trembling hands.
"Vita." He insists, making my heart race...
Faced with my silence and haste, Derek gets up and walks toward me, making me even more desperate. I try to move away, but he pulls me by the arm, bringing my body closer to bump into his firm chest.
His hands reach my hair, his fingers trailing up my long black strands until they tighten, making me lift my chin. His other hand reaches around my waist and pulls me to his hip, making me gasp as I feel something hard pressing into my belly.
"Stop it already..."
"Damn you!” He murmurs and brushes his lips against my neck, smelling my sensitive skin.
"Derek..." My breath catches in my lungs as he licks my neck, making a shiver run up my spine and spread throughout my body, especially when I feel his bulge throb.
"Vita..."
He slides his tongue across my skin, and I let out a low moan; that makes me realize that I'm almost giving in once again…
“I told you to stop!” I push him by the shoulders, and I'm surprised to find no resistance, just a hurt expression and confused eyes... I can see so much misery in his eyes that I let out a sob, but luckily, with no tears.
Derek tries to move forward to hug me, his touch already sliding down the curves of my body and threatening to pull me against his embrace, but my hand takes on a life of its own, and the next thing I know, the crackling sound of the slap sounds out loudly.
I've hit Derek's face with such strength that my palm aches, but his upturned face remains motionless as I retract my hand with a tight throat and burning eyes. It seems to me that this slap hurt me more than him, and I feel bitter about it.
“How dare you act like that?” I clutch my cleavage, trying to ease this tearing pain in my chest. "You already rejected me that night, do you forget? You said you despise me, that I’m not your mate anymore, so why are you acting this way now?"
He doesn't say a single word; he just wets his lips and looks at me again intensely.
I feel even more baffled, and the words come out desperate, shaky, sharp, "We don't have any ties anymore, Derek... You cut them by yourself-"
"Weren't you looking for a man?" His voice becomes harsh, bitter, and sarcastic, but his eyes remain sorrowful.
"Even if I was... Do you think I would choose you? Derek, you'd be the last man I'd ever lie with!" I retort harshly because, Goddess, I can't take it anymore... I really can't!
My words seem to have hit him more than my slap; he looks stunned once again, with a sadness so deep that even though he disguises it with a sarcastic, desperate laugh, it can still be seen in his eyes.
"Stop pretending, Vita-"
"I'm not pretending, Derek," I interrupt him with frowning eyebrows and cold eyes, probably the coldest I've ever had in my life... "I'm serious... our ties were cut that night... there's nothing left between us except your hatred for me. But I... I don't feel anything for you anymore!”
Yes, I'm lying in those last words... Of course I am.
It still hurts and burns so much that I say it without any conviction; after all, my feelings were all true — and when you love someone as deeply as I loved him, no amount of time can erase that feeling.
I still love him, yes...
But I choose myself.
"Vita..."
"If you're not going to kill me, Derek, leave me alone... I mean it."
[...]
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I don't know how I managed to resist or how I got into that cab, but the moment I set foot in the hall and closed the door, I immediately fell to my knees.
Derek's pheromones are impregnated in me, setting my body on fire as I crawl across the floor with no strength in my legs. My lips naturally part at the painful grunts that escape from the back of my throat... painful because my whole body, every inch of my skin, is begging for Derek's touch.
I've really tried to keep my composure, but his scent is really imprinted on me. The mark on my neck is throbbing as the middle of my legs. Everything about me is reactive, so sensitive, even the rubbing of my breasts against the cold floor makes my nipples stiff. I'm really losing it as I drag myself across the floor, already feeling slippery between my legs.
I try to get up, but I'm shaking too much. I take a deep breath, and that's a big mistake because I just bring more of Derek’s scent into my system. Derek really did put his pheromones on me without even worrying about how it would affect me. Well, not that he really cares about me...
"Huh..." I let out a groan as my insides throb. I lean my forehead against the floor, lifting my hips, and immediately remember how he took me into my room three years ago... It was so rough, so different... And so good…
I moan again, arching my back, closing my eyes, imagining that Derek is behind me, just like he did that time, pulling me up and holding my hips still. His firm hand that slapped my ass, the way he filled me completely and made me come even in a situation like that...
I can't resist; my hands travel slowly down my belly to the middle of my legs. I feel my panties soaking under my fingertips, and I hold my breath, a little embarrassed to be doing something like this. But when my finger presses against the sensitive clit above the fabric, a moan escapes through my lips.
I rub my fingertips slowly, a circular motion that only makes me needier. It doesn't feel anywhere near as satisfying or pleasurable as when Derek does it or when he’s inside me, but I get anxious and increase the pace at which I rub my clit.
With my cheek on the cold floor and my hips raised, I hold my panties to the side and touch my entrance, so wet and throbbing that I'm not surprised it's leaking through my crotch. I keep rubbing my finger fast, moaning low, doing it the way Derek used to.
Pleasure is spreading through my body, but it's not enough... I'm suffocating on his smell impregnated in me, and my entrance just pulses, begging for something better...
That's why I slide two of my slender fingers inside me, gasping, widening my entrance that hasn't received anything in a long time. I've never touched myself like this, never even used a dildo, so I feel a slight pain at receiving my fingers after so long. But this pain soon passes and turns into an intense need that makes me open my fingers inside and spread wider.
I moan a little louder and lose my shyness, thrusting my fingers and making them slide in and out in slow movements, feeling everything: my inner walls tightening, closing around my fingers... how wet and hot and throbbing I am... And I want to show it to Derek so badly, how I want to drive him crazy with desire as I am right now.
I increase the pace, arching my fingertips to fit my sensitive spot and start to go deep, hammering my hand against my butt, panting and with saliva dripping from the corner of my lips.
I feel the orgasm approaching, and I don't stop... in fact, I go even faster and deeper, now with my loud moans reverberating throughout the hall and maybe even the neighboring ears... So I put my thumb against my clit, rubbing it fast while my fingers keep hammering inside me.
One last loud moan comes out like a high-pitched cry as the orgasm hits me. My body stiffens, and I stretch my other hand across the floor, trying to dig my nails into it, while I stop my fingers inside me and feel my own orgasm, the inner walls closing in and trying to expel it.
I collapse to the floor, feeling weak, breathing fast and short. Still with my eyes closed, I curl up on the floor, trying to calm my heart, shame now spreading through my chest.
I’ve been wondering, can Derek also feel the way I do? During these three years, I've wished that he could...
But now, for the first time in all this time, I hope he can't.